To hope beyond hope
by sandis86
Summary: Doug gets a phone call from Mark. He's needed in Chicago. Something bad happened but turned out good!
1. Chapter 1

**To hope beyond hope**

A fanfiction © by Sandra

Stars…no matter how much there were above in the sky…no matter if no one could count them, but Doug was sitting every evening on his veranda and looked at them. He just looked at them, starring into the sky and thinking. Thinking about his life, about the woman he loved and about his kids. He thought about a lot of things, but mostly about Carol, his Carol, the love of his live and he thought of his daughters, Tess and Kate, who he never saw before. He didn't know them…in the last four years of their life he didn't talk one word with them. Carol often sent him letters with pictures; they looked so much like her, so beautiful little girls. Black long curls, her eyes. He thought so often about them. He often asked Carol to come to Seattle…maybe only for a visit, but she didn't come. And he didn't come to Chicago. But he loved her, so much and he loved his daughters, more than his own life.

On that evening he was sitting there again; it was still warm and the moon spent some good light. He looked at the stars and thought again. He got a letter today from Carol. Every time he got some news he was happy. He missed her…it hurt not seeing her, not touching her and not to speak with her.

The ringing of the telephone got him back to reality. He stood up and went inside, although he had the answering machine on. He thought that it may be an important phone call when somebody is calling at this time of the day.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Doug? It's Mark!"

"Mark Green? Wow…nice to hear you buddy!" He was happy to hear his best friends voice again.

"Doug…I don't have good news…"

Doug got sick at this moment. Carol…what happened? The kids?

"Mark, what happened?"

"I don't want to tell you on the phone. Just come here…you're needed here!"

Doug didn't think twice…there was no question about it: "Okay, I'll come. I'll take the next flight!"

"Hurry up Doug…it's very important!" Mark said before he hung up.

-You're needed…hurry up…- these words, what was the meaning of it?

Damn…he shouldn't have left her back then…

"You want something to drink? Sir…sir, can I get you something?" the stewardess was asking him. "What? Ahh…no, thanks!" he answered, without knowing what she was asking. He was just thinking so much.

When the plane landed in Chicago, he woke up…he woke up from thinking. He was here, finally, but he wasn't happy. Not at this occasion. What happened? His heart raced…he never had this feeling before.

On the way to County he thought about what could've happened if he wasn't leaving her. He saw himself in a family…as husband and father.

"Hey…we're here!" the driver said and Doug paid and got out of the taxi. Then he went inside of the ER. Like in old times…he knew this way inside out.

He looked around. Probably Carol would come now and tell him that everything was just a joke. But it wasn't like that.

"Doug…"

He turned around and hugged Mark.

"Mark, what's goin' on?"

"I'll tell you in the lounge!"

Doug followed him without more questions.

How could that have happened? Just the day before he got a letter from her. He saw her in front of him…like she was never away.

"Can I see her?"

"Of course. She's at the ICU!"

Mark brought him there and when they arrived, Mark let him alone.

Doug saw her lying there; connected to so many equipment stuff…he only knew that from his patients.

He took a seat on her bed and touched her cheek. How much would he like to talk to her, about the kids, about the last four years. He never thought that it could've been the last time back then.

He still heard Mark's words. He wished that everything was just a dream. But it was reality.

"Mark? Where are the girls?" he asked when he found Mark again.

"Tess is still downstairs. She's hurt a little bit more than Kate. Kate's at the pedes station!"

Both went to the ER first. Tess was sleeping, when Doug entered her room. But when he took a seat on her bed, she opened her eyes. Doug looked into the eyes of his child for the first time.

"Hey little!" he said and stroked her head.

Tess yawned and then looked at her cast she had on her hand.

"Are you a doctor?" she asked, not shy at all.

"I am Tess. My name's Doug Ross!"

"We have the same last name!" she smiled.

"You know why? I'm your daddy. Therefore we have the same last name!" he answered calmly.

~Your daddy, who's always there for you~

"You are the man that my mommy loves? She's speaking a lot about you!"

Doug smiled. "Well, I think I am that one!"

"We had an accident…I can't remember…where's my mommy and where's Katie?"

~Mommy's sleeping. Maybe sleeping forever…but she'll awake at the angels…~

He couldn't stand this thought. "Mommy is hurt badly. She'll be sleeping for a very long time now. But she loves you. She loves you so much!" He wiped away a tear.

Tess nodded without understanding what was going on with her mum.

"Try to sleep a little bit! We'll see us tomorrow again okay?"

Doug stood up, covered her with the blanket and stroke her cheek again. "Good night sweetie!"

Doug started to walk out. "Daddy?"

Doug turned around. Tess said it. Daddy…just like he wasn't away all those years.

"Can I see Katie tomorrow?"

Doug nodded. "Of course sweetie. Have a good sleep!"

He went out and suddenly everything around him was turning. He couldn't believe that this was happening. To his love, to his little girls. He wished that he could turn back time. Just four years was everything he was asking to.

Kate was sitting in her bed and watched TV. In the room there was a free bed; that one was for Tess.

"Hello Katie!" Doug said and he took a seat on her bed.

"Hi!" she answered silently without looking at him.

"What are you watching?"

Kate turned to him. She looked so much like Tess…he asked himself, how he should tell them apart.

"I know you from somewhere!" she said and was thinking about it. "Yeah…you are on a picture with mommy! It's in our living room!"

"Kate…I'm your daddy!" he said.

"Mommy told us about you!" she answered smiling. "Can't Tess come here?"

"She's coming tomorrow morning. How're you feeling Katie?" he asked concerned.

"I'm okay…my knee is hurting, but uncle Mark helped me. When is mommy coming?"

Now he had to say that words again. He hated to tell them. Why Carol? Why? Nobody could answer that why.

"Mommy was hurt badly. She isn't fine right now…she's sleeping heavily. She won't wake up for a long time!"

Kate nodded and Doug saw how a tear fell down from her eyes.

He hugged her and ran a hand through her hair. He knew that this was very hard for the twins…as hard as it was for him. But he loved them so much. He loved them more than his life…also Carol.

"Are you taking care of us while mommy is sleeping?" she asked when she calmed down again and Doug nodded.

Kate smiled at him. "You look nice!"

"Thanks…but you do to!" he answered smiling. "But you should sleep now!"

"Okay!" She took the remote and turned off the TV. Then she turned to Doug again. "Good night daddy!"

"Good night, little princess!" He stood up and went outside, where Mark was waiting for him.

"So you already play the fool with the girls again!" Mark joked.

"Yeah…Mark they're wonderful!" Doug answered.

"Yeah…they are!" Mark answered thoughtfully.

"Mark, will she wake up?"

"I don't know Doug. It doesn't look good, but we can hope for a miracle!"

A miracle…was that everything? Was there nothing they could do? He had no power…he wanted to help her, but he couldn't do anything. Not anymore.

He sat the whole night on her bed. The sounds of the equipment didn't let him sleep. He didn't want to sleep…he was afraid of waking up and not to hear that sounds. He was scared to lose her.

He wanted to say so much to her, but he was silent. He only sat there, holding her hand and looking at her.

As the first sunlight came into the room it was time to go to his daughters.

After one more day Kate was allowed to go home. Doug packed her things and helped her with her clothes and shoes.

"Can't Tess come with us?"

"I'm afraid not. She has to stay one more day!"

"Can we see mommy?" Tess asked who was coming back from shooting x-rays.

Doug thought about that. That would be a horrible sight for the girls, but he agreed.

So they went to Carol. Her status hadn't changed in the meantime.

"Tess, Kate, mommy will have a tube in her mouth, so she can breath, okay?" Doug said before they entered the room. The twins nodded.

They went inside and were now standing beside her bed. "Hey mommy!" both of them said careful.

~Open your eyes and say hello to your daughters! Please open your eyes!~

Doug didn't wish for more right now. Tess turned to her father.

"Will she be okay?"

"I don't know!" No, nobody knew it. How should he complain that to four-year-olds?

"You can make her okay!" Kate said.

~Yeah…do something!~ was standing in their eyes. He didn't want anything more badly.

"I can't Kate. Your mommy has do make it alone!" was everything he could answer now.

Kate and Doug left the hospital. Doug was thinking. How should now continue everything?

"Are we driving with the El?" Kate asked. "Cause our car is damaged!"

"Then I think so!" he answered. He had to rent a car as soon as possible.

"Are you living now with us?" Kate asked again when they were in the El. He sat her on his lap and kissed her cheek. "When you allow me to?!"

"Of course…you can sleep in mommy's bed until she's coming back!"

~Until she is coming back~

Will she come back? Will she wake him at morning with a kiss and will she fall asleep in his arms at night? Will she come and be with him and the kids? Or will she sleep? Will she ever open her eyes again?

Carol house didn't change much. New furniture, new curtains, etc.

He went to the stairs. There were four pictures of Tess and Kate. Over every single step there were pictures of every year of their life. The first one showed them as little babies with a soother in their mouths. He so badly wanted to be there. The second pictures showed them at their first attempts of walking. On the third picture they were seen in too big basketball dresses. Doug smiled at this sight. The fourth picture was taken at their birthday party.

He never got to experience one of their birthdays. He never saw them blowing out the candles on the cake or opening their presents.

"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Kate called and Doug went into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and it was almost empty. But he was able to make a sandwich.

Both were sitting in the living room now. Kate was eating her sandwich and Doug got a piece of paper and a pen.

"You want to draw? I have color markers!" Kate said.

"No…no, I'm writing a list for things we have to do!" Doug answered smiling. "First I have to rent a car!"

"And we have to go shopping!" Kate answered smiling.

"We can do that when we get Tess from the hospital okay?" Doug suggested and Kate was okay with that.

When Kate finished her sandwich she fell asleep on the couch. Doug took her carefully in his arms and brought her in her room.

He sat there and watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Just like her mother, who was also sleeping right now. But Carol would sleep longer. Longer and heavier.

The next morning Doug and Kate were on the way to the car dealer. They soon found a working car which Doug rent for some months.

With the car they were driving to County, to get Tess. She was happy to go home, to play with Katie and to have fun with her father. Both loved him already. But something was missing…their mother. Everybody missed Carol, most notably Doug.

Kate and Doug were going to the ER, where Mark was waiting with Tess. The little girl was running to them and Doug kissed her cheek. "Ready for going home?" he asked and Tess nodded.

"I want to visit your mum again. Will you stay here in the meantime?"

Mark agreed to look for them in the meantime and Doug went upstairs to ICU.

"Good morning Dr. Ross!" the doctor said who was doing a round. "Good morning! Is there a progress?"

"No…not yet. But we're trying everything!"

Damn, why? No progress…there had to be happening something sometime! But it wasn't so. "Can I have some time alone with her?" Doug asked and the doctor left the room.

Doug went to her bed, took a seat and took her hand in his. "Hey Care…it's me again!" he said sadly. "Tess is allowed to go home today. They miss you so much Carol…I miss you! I'm so sorry that I wasn't here! When…when you hear me, please, give me a sign…open your eyes…or…squeeze my hand, just anything! Carol…we need you!"

But she didn't give him a sign. No squeezing…no winking. He took a deep breath, kissed her cheek and left the room again. He couldn't be there without getting an answer.

He went to his daughters, who gave him the strength to live on. He hugged them.

~I will be there for you always and forever~

Some minutes later they were leaving County, just to go shopping. Doug put the twins into the cart and so they were driving through the alleys. Everytime when Tess or Kate called "daddy", some people were turning around to them. Doug thought that they knew Carol because she often came to this shop with the girls. Then he thought how nice it would be if she were there with him right now. How nice it would be to ask her: "Carol, do we need crackers?" But she wasn't here. She couldn't answer: "No…we still have crackers at home!"

"Daddy!" Kate called again and brought her daddy back to earth.

"Yeah Katie?" he asked smiling.

"Can we have muffins? Pweeeeeaaseee!"

"Of course!" he answered and put some packages of muffins into the cart.

After the shopping, they went back home.

In the evening Doug brought the kids to bed, covered them with their blankets and kissed them.

"Daddy?" Tess whispered in his ear. "Can we visit mommy tomorrow?"

"Hey, listen to me!" he said and he took a seat on the bed. "We can visit mommy as often as we want to! It's good that we talk with her. Maybe she can hear us and wakes up some time. And now…have a good sleep! See you tomorrow!"

Doug was lying awake in bed thinking. He wished to have Carol on his side right now and that they could talk late into the night, just like in the past. He wished to kiss her, to touch her and to feel her. He prayed to god…he prayed that she would wake up. Sometime he fell asleep with the fear to lose her every second.

The next morning Doug, Tess and Kate decided to go visit Carol.

"Hey mommy! It's us!" Tess said as they entered her room. "We painted you some pictures!" Kate said and showed Carol the drawings. But Carol didn't see them. Maybe she wanted to open her eyes, but she couldn't. Maybe she was in horrible pain…but she couldn't tell.

"Hey Care…hey, tell her what we did yesterday!" Doug said and he took a seat beside Carol.

"We were shopping!" Kate said smiling. "Yeah, and daddy got us some muffins!" Tess continued and crawled on Doug's lap. "Can I touch her face?" she asked silently and Doug nodded. Her little hands touched Carol's cheek and Doug could hear that she whispered a 'wake up' to her mother. He knew that the twins missed Carol. They didn't even understand why their mother was sleeping so long.

Kate wanted to give her mum a kiss and Doug helped her up. When Kate was kissing Carol, Doug noticed that Carol blinked with her eye. Maybe she wanted to say thank you at this moment or she wanted to hug Kate. But that blinking was the past again. When only she moved her fingers, he would know that she is still here. That she can hear everything. But now she was lying there again, without saying: No, don't leave yet, when Doug and the girls were going again.

"Hey Doug…you and the girls should come this afternoon to our place. I'm off work and Ella would like to play with the twins again!" Mark said when the three of them arrived in the ER.

"Yeah Daddy, let's get to Ella!" Tess and Kate smiled and Doug couldn't say no.

"Okay…if there are no circumstances for you!"

"Of course not! See you later then!" Mark answered.

Exactly at two o'clock they were standing in front of the Greene's door. Elizabeth opened it. "Hey you three! C'mon in, Ella's waiting already!"

Tess and Kate ran inside, they couldn't wait to play with Ella.

"Hi Elizabeth!" Doug said and they went inside. "Hi Mark!"

"Hi Doug! Take a seat! You want something to drink?" Mark asked. Doug took a seat on the table.

"Do you have coffee? I had my last one since ages!"

"Of course!" Lizzy said and she went into the kitchen.

"Hi Dr. Ross! Nice to see you!" Rachel said who was coming from upstairs. Doug was surprised to see her so much changed. "Rachel…hi! Call me Doug!"

"Okay…well, I'm sorry what happened to Carol…"

"Thanks!" Doug answered sadly. Who wasn't sorry? Doug couldn't pretend like nothing had happened. He couldn't be happy and satisfied with everything. No, he was broken down. All the time he had to think about her, he saw her in front of him and he could hear her voice. Carol was in a coma, she was away, didn't take advantage of the reality. How could Doug be happy?

"Rachel's here?" he asked just to come to other thoughts.

"Only for the weekend! How're the twins?"

"They always ask about Care…they miss her!"

Mark nodded. "Everybody misses her! Is there any new progress?"

"No…she's not away from the critical condition. No signs that she'll wake up!" Doug answered.

Lizzy came with the coffee. "I'm sure she'll wake up soon. She's such a strong woman!"

Doug nodded. He hoped so.

Lizzy looked to Mark. They knew that Doug had a hard time right now.

"Hey…I'm okay! Don't worry about me!" Doug said smiling.

"No, we know that you're feeling bad. We know you love her and you want to help her. All you can do is talk with her. It could help her to wake up. Maybe she's…"

"I know Liz. Can we please talk about other things now?" Doug interrupted her. Lizzy nodded. She missed her friend and she thought now nice it could've been, when she was here now with them. How nice it would have been to see her smiling…

One week passed. Carol's condition hadn't changed. She was incredible pale.

Doug spent a lot of time with the twins in Carol's room. They talked with her, sang a song for her or just stood there, holding her hands. The twins often asked when she finally would wake up. Soon, he always said. Soon…

On one warm, sunny Saturday they went to Carol again. Kate and Tess had a lot to tell her.

"Hi mommy! We were at the theater yesterday with Daddy! That's so much better than our TV at home!" Tess said as soon as they entered the room.

"And after theater we were at the pleasure ground. We bought you a Teddy!" Kate said and put the Teddy on Carol's bed.

Doug went closer to the bed. "He has your favorite color, but we didn't give him a name yet. Tess and Kate said you should name him!"

Kate looked closely at her mother. She hated that tube in her mouth. She hated the beeping of the monitors. She hated everything in that room.

"She can't hear us at all, right?" Kate asked when she looked back to Doug.

"I don't know…"

"When she could hear us, she would open her eyes and she would talk with us, just like she did when we had woken her at home!" Kate was mad and sad at the same time. Doug hugged her when she started to cry.

"Daddy…will mommy die?" Tess asked silently and Doug looked at her.

"When she's not waking up…and when they turn off all this stuff here, she'll die!"

He couldn't believe that he just said these words.

"She's not allowed to do this…she's not allowed to leave us, right daddy?"

"No, she's not allowed. Not yet!" Doug said and he hugged Tess too.

Some minutes later they were leaving the room again. "Hey…you go down to the ER, I'll come back later. I want to be alone with mommy for some time. You know the way right?" Doug said and the twins nodded.

Doug went back inside Carol's room and took a seat on her bed again. Now he would talk to her for the last time. He would hold her hand for the last time…touch her face for the last time.

He took her hand and kissed it. Then he started to talk: "Here I am again. The docs mean that it makes no sense to wait for a miracle. But I have to talk to you, before you leave. There is so much I want to tell you, but not like this. I love you Care. I always loved you and I'm so sorry that I missed four years of your lives. I want to make it good with you. We miss you so much. We pray all the nights for you…Carol, please, just squeeze my hand when you can hear me. Squeeze it! C'mon!" He didn't notice that he started to cry. He was hurt so badly. "Squeeze it…or go. If you want, you can go! Go! Leave us alone!" It didn't make any sense. He put her hand back on the bed, kissed her once again and then turned around to leave.

One last time he wanted to see her. He turned around again and looked straight into her opened eyes…the most beautiful eyes in the world, that were searching for him. Carol was awake and she gave him the sign he needed.

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters in this story all belong to NBC, Warner Bros. and John Wells Productions. I don't make any profit out of this.

**Finally awake**

Continues right after "To hope beyond hope"

_One last time he wanted to see her. He turned around again and looked straight into her opened eyes…the most beautiful eyes in the world, that were searching for him. Carol was awake and she gave him the sign he needed._

Doug was standing there, looking into her eyes for about two whole minutes. She was awake and he watched a single tear rolling down her eye. He started to tremble and he opened his mouth just to shout but no tone came out of it. "Carol…" was everything he could whisper right now, still looking into her eyes.

"Carol…" he said again, now louder than the wanted. "My god, you're awake!" He ran out of the room and Carol followed him with her eyes. Although she couldn't remember anything, she was so happy to see Doug right now. He was here. But what happened? Why was he running out? Why did every inch of her body hurt that much? Where were her daughters?  
She was scared. Scared like hell. She looked around in her room and suddenly Doug appeared again with another doctor.

Doug went to her bed and sat down on the edge of it. He took her hand. "Carol, do you think you can breathe without help?" he asked and she nodded her head. Doug nodded too, hiding his happiness. He was so happy to see her awake, to have her back to life. From now on everything would become better. From now on he would stay forever. He hoped.

The doctor removed the tube and Carol took a deep breath. The first breath of her new life. "God…please give me something for the pain…" she said with a hoarse voice and she closed her eyes again. "Where does it hurt?" Doug asked concerned. "Everywhere!" she answered crying. She noted her casted leg. "What happened? What about the babies?" she asked confused. It was horrible right now, lying there in pain, not knowing what happened, afraid of everything. Doug closed his eyes. He didn't want to see her in pain. It was killing him seeing her like that.

Finally he started to speak. "Our daughters are wonderful Carol! They're great! They were here the minute before…we were here every second day…you…you three had a car accident…you were in a coma!" Carol couldn't believe what he was telling her. Why didn't she remember a car accident?

"What about the girls?" she managed to asked. "They're okay. Kate only had some bruises and a little concussion. Tess needed a surgery. She had some internal bleeding, but she's totally fine now! Except of the cast on her arm." Doug answered. Carol smiled a little but her pain stopped her. She couldn't believe that she did that do her daughters. "Oh my god!" she covered her mouth with her hand and started to cry again. "Hey...don't cry, everything is fine. Everything will be fine!" Doug said and he wiped her tears away. Carol nodded and slowly her tears stopped.

"Thank you for…everything!" she whispered as she looked into his eyes again. It had been so long since she saw him. If she could she would get up and kiss him in that moment, but she was too weak. She was just happy to see him, to have him there, to smell his scent, to touch his hand.

But…it had been four years. Four years…what a long time, she thought. Maybe he went on with his life. Maybe he found someone new. Maybe he had a wife and children in Seattle. She remembered the picture of his big house on the lake. He must have been very lonely there without anyone. Carol was sure that her only love found someone else. Doug was still good looking. Even after all those years Carol's heart started to pound quicker when she looked at him. She didn't see a ring on his finger…but that meant nothing. God…how would things go on now? Why was he here? She realized now that she never stopped loving him.

Doug smiled. He loved being there for her. For his daughters. And even Carol had still some bruises in her face he thought that she was more beautiful than ever. He was still so much in love with her and he wished that everything would turn out okay again. He wished that she was still in love with him. He knew from his girls that Carol wasn't dating anyone at the moment. Kate once told that she didn't like the men that were coming to their house, but she would be happy to have her daddy there. He so hoped that he could stay with them.

"Oh my god, it's true! You're awake again!" Elizabeth stormed into the room and she smiled at Carol and Doug.

Carol smiled at her. "You scared the hell out of us all Lady!" Lizzy said while she took a seat on Carol's bed too. "I'm sorry!" Carol answered silently and she looked down to her blanket. "I'm glad you're back with us! How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked. "Like a truck hit me! Everything hurts so much…my head is exploding I think!" Carol answered sleepily. "But I see you get some good drugs here! The pain will go away after this night. Just take things slowly and you can get home quicker you think! Are you able to move everything? Your hands, your feet?" Elizabeth asked and Carol nodded. Even with the pain she put up her hands and her foot that wasn't in a cast, just to show that everything wasn't that bad. She wanted to jump up and dance to celebrate that she was still alive. "How long did I sleep?" she finally asked, looking back to Doug. "Over a month!" he answered silently. "More than a month? I missed a month in my daughter's life?" she asked hesitating. She couldn't believe it. Doug nodded. "You didn't miss that much…we were here as often as we could. So, you were all the time with us!" Doug answered. "You remember voices?" Elizabeth asked. "I don't know…I can't remember anything…" Carol answered frustrated.

Elizabeth got up of the bed. "That will come. Tell me if you need anything okay?" she said. "Thank you Elizabeth!" Carol answered and she smiled a little bit. Elizabeth nodded and she left the room.

"I can't believe that all this happened!" Carol said and a single tear fell down her eye. "I know…me neither…but I'm glad you're awake now and getting better!" he smiled. Carol looked at him again, but this even hurt more. This really was Doug, the man she loved since she was 23 years old. The man she had two daughters with. The man she wanted to marry. She felt dizzy and she closed her eyes. "I think I need to sleep again…my eyes are burning…it hurts so much!" she whispered without opening her eyes again.

Doug nodded. "Okay…get some rest. I'll come by later…if you want!"

"Sure!" she answered quickly, looking at him again and smiling a little bit. Doug smiled back, nodding his head. It was good to see her smiling again.

It didn't even last two minutes and she fell back into a deep sleep again. But now it was different. She started to dream…

***

Carol was sitting at the backyard, watching her daughters play in the grass. "Mommy, when can we jump into the lake again?" Tess asked, putting her doll down. "It's still too cold…but maybe in some weeks, when the weather is better, okay?" Carol answered smiling. "I don't like that cold weather!" Kate answered wrinkling her nose. Carol smiled again and she looked out to the lake. She loved it there and she didn't even mind the bad weather. It was clear that day; the sun was shining lightly through the clouds.

Then she heard his car pulling into the garage. Some moments later he appeared in the backyard. "Hey my girls!" he smiled and kissed Carol. "Hey babe!" she answered, smiling. "Hello daddy! Mommy said we can jump into the lake when it gets warmer! When will it get warmer?" Kate shouted happily. "I think in some weeks! But we can drive out with the boat anytime you want!" Doug answered, taking a seat beside Carol. "You know I don't like that!" Carol said, looking to him. "But why? You were out there with us too! You know that they are safe!" Doug answered. "Yeah…I know, but it's dangerous!" Doug smiled at her. "You really are a coward!" "Haha, yeah I know!" Carol answered, kissing him again. "How was work?"

Doug sighed. "Exhausting! Every time you aren't there the ER flows over! By the way…it totally is true that Drew and Sabrina are together!" Doug told her. "What? No way!" Carol answered laughing. "Totally! I caught them today in the supplies room!" "Oh wow…reminds me of us…" Carol remembered their secret room back in Chicago. Doug nodded his head. "We still have our places!" he answered.

***

Carol suddenly woke up. She was sweating and breathing very hard. She remembered everything of her dream. So…that's how it could be, she thought.

Since she opened her eyes and saw Doug standing there, everything seemed to be more complicated.

She missed him every single day in her the past four years. She knew she could've visited him in Seattle. And now she knew she should have. She should have been going with him the day he left. She had to find out if she could be together with him again.

In the meantime Doug was going back to the ER. To get his girls. A huge smile was on his face. "I guess you have some good news!?" Mark said as he found Doug. "I have! I really have good news! Carol just woke up and…she's fine, she's doing fine. Still a lot of pain, but she will be okay!" Doug answered. He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "That's great! That's really great! So, what now?" Mark asked. Doug sighed. "I don't know. I'll be there for them. I'll stay in Chicago, get a room somewhere. For now!" Doug smiled again. "What about your job?" Mark asked then. "Mark, I quit my job a month ago. I saved enough money to live without a job for a while. I guess I have to look for a job now here in Chicago again. I don't want to go back to my lonely house all by myself!" "I understand you. Well, it's been a long time. Maybe the doors are open for you here again!" Mark said and Doug looked at him. "You don't mean that, do you?" Doug asked. "I never lied to you, remember?" Mark just said and they both went to the lounge, where Tess and Kate were watching TV.

"Hey girls!" Doug whispered and he took a seat on the floor beside them. "Hi daddy!" Kate said and she saw him smiling, like she never saw him before. "You are happy!" she said and he nodded. "Yeah. I have to tell you something. Tess, you listening?" he asked his daughter and she finally turned the TV off. Both were looking at him now, excited for the news.

"Your mommy is awake!" Doug told them and they made big eyes. "Really?" Tess asked then and Doug nodded his head. "Can we go see her then?" Kate now asked. Doug stroke her hair. "Of course. I think she'll be happy to see you both!" Doug answered and the three got up.

When they came back to Carol's room she was still asleep. Tess and Kate made a sad face. "She isn't awake!" Tess almost started to cry. "But soon she will be. Your mommy still has a lot of pain and now she's sleeping to make the pain better. She will be awake soon!" he answered and they entered the room.

All three were chit-chatting a while and finally Carol woke up. She stirred in her bed and opened her eyes. "Oh god…hey babies! Hey my sweeties!" she whispered in tears, when she saw her daughters. "Good morning mommy!" they both said when they heard Carol's voice und almost jumped on her bed. Carol winced when she felt the pain and her kids stepped back down. "Mommy?" Kate asked a little bit afraid. "It's okay sweetie. I just feel a little pain. I'll be okay. C'mere!" Carol answered and her daughters climbed up Carol's bed, a little bit more carefully. "How are you two? I'm so sorry for what happened!" Carol said and kissed both on their heads. "I'm fine!" Tess answered smiling. "I'm fine too!" Kate told her too. "We missed you mommy!" Tess said then. "Yeah, but daddy was with us all the time!" Kate finished. "I'm glad that daddy was with you!" Carol answered, looking at Doug smiling. He smiled back to her…just everything seemed so peaceful right now.

"Will you come home now? We could use a wheelchair!" Tess asked. Carol sighed. "Not yet baby. I'll have to stay longer!" Carol answered. "But why? You are awake now!" Kate said, not understanding. "See my casted leg? It has to be better! It won't take long and soon I will be home with you again, okay?" Carol answered and Tess and Kate nodded. "Can daddy stay with us?" Tess asked. Carol smiled again. ~ He can stay forever~ "Yes, of course daddy can stay!" she answered again. Doug smiled at the thought. "I even cleaned the house!" he said and Carol laughed. "Thanks Doug! Thank you for everything!" "Hey…no problem. I loved to do everything!" he answered.

~I love you~

Carol smiled back to him. She'd love to go home with them now. And she hated that it wasn't possible right now. She didn't know how things would go on. The only thing she knew was that she wanted to be together with Doug again.

"Okay, I guess it's time to go now little Ladies!" Doug then said as he looked at his watch. "Noooo daddy!" Tess and Kate complained. "I'm sorry girls…but your mommy needs her rest too!" Doug answered smiling. The twins sighed. "Okay…but can we come back tomorrow?" Kate asked. "Of course baby. I love you, you know that?" Carol answered. "I love you too mommy!" Kate smiled and kissed Carol's cheek. "I love you too mommy!" Tess said and kissed her mother too. "Oh baby, I love you too! See you guys tomorrow!" Carol answered smiling.

"Do you need anything?" Doug asked. Carol shook her head. "No…thanks!" she answered. "Okay…if you need anything, just call. See you tomorrow okay?" Doug said and kissed her cheek. "Looking forward too!" she answered again. Doug smiled.

When they left the room Carol closed her eyes again. She was so happy. Now she just had to get better and she had to remember what happened.

Doug was on his way home with his kids. "I'm happy that mommy is awake again!" Kate said and she jumped around in front of him. Doug smiled. "I'm happy too, Katie!" he answered. "When can she come home to us?" Tess asked, taking his hand in hers. "Soon baby. Soon!" he answered and then they went on.

~tbc~


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters in this story all belong to NBC, Warner Bros. and John Wells Productions. I don't make any profit out of this.

**Back to Life**

Continues right after "Finally awake"

Carol was sitting in her bed when Lizzy came into her room. "Hey! So today you'll get the cast down?"

"Yeah, finally! I can't wait to walk again!" Carol smiled. Lizzy took a seat beside the bed. "You'll need physical therapy!" "I know…I just wish I could go home to my girls and…" Carol stopped. She just wanted to go home to her girls and Doug.

Doug was here every day with the kids. When they came home from kindergarten the first thing they wanted to do was visiting their mommy. Every day they painted her a picture…one where they were in the garden, daddy, mommy, Tess and Kate. One where they were in a tree house, all four together. Doug was wonderful with them and Carol loved to watch her girls with their father.

"And?" Lizzy interrupted Carol's thoughts. "What?" Carol asked, not knowing what to say. "You want to go home to Doug, don't you?" Lizzy said.

Carol smiled. "You know…I missed him the last four years. I missed him every day. And now he's back…he's with our daughters…he's here all the time. And I still love him…so much…" Carol told her. "You should tell him that Carol!" Lizzy suggested. Carol shook her head. "No…I don't know how…I…you know that I wasn't the best person in the world when the twins were born. I told him not to come. I didn't want him to come. I guess he hates me for that!" Carol sighed. "He doesn't hate you! If he did, he wouldn't have been coming back here after your accident!" Lizzy said.

"The accident…I really don't know if there really was an accident! I still can't remember anything! The girls tell me so much, but it just seems not like it happened!"

"Maybe it had to happen…" Lizzy said and Carol looked at her with big eyes. "What? Why?" she laughed. "For Doug…realizing that you need each other!" Lizzy said and with that she stood up.

"Good luck with the therapy. Just call if you need anything okay?" "Thanks Liz!" Carol smiled and Lizzy left the room.

Suddenly Carol heard two little girls calling after aunt Lizzy. Carol smiled. Her daughters visited again.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" they shouted when they entered Carol's room. Carol laughed out loud. Finally the kids caught their breaths again. "We were running away from daddy!" Kate told her. "Yeah, he said the winner will get ice cream afterwards!" Tess told too. They high-fived smiling. "I guess you two won then!" Carol said and the twins nodded their heads.

Finally Doug came into the room, simulating an exhausted daddy. "God…you two are just too quick for me!" he gasped. "Daddy, we won! We won!" Tess and Kate shouted happily. "I know babies!" Doug answered laughing.

"Hey Doug!" Carol said smiling. "Hey! Today's the day, huh?" Doug asked and Carol nodded. "Yeah, finally! I can't wait to come home to you!" she said when she looked at her daughters. "But daddy can stay with us, don't he?" Tess asked, now a little bit concerned. Carol looked to Doug, who was now sitting on a chair. "Yeah…he can, if he wants to!" Carol answered, still looking at Doug.

Doug smiled. "I'd love to!" he answered. "Yaaay!" the twins shouted, jumping around. Carol and Doug laughed.

"So, when do you get that cast off? And when does the therapy start?" Doug asked. "I have no idea about the cast…you know like it is…the doctor will be back soon, y'know? And therapy starts right afterwards…just to test my muscles and so on!" Carol answered.

"Okay, that means we can get you about half past six then?" Doug asked again. He couldn't wait to have her at home again. Carol nodded. "Yeah, half past six will be fine I guess!" she answered smiling.

Doug watched her. He didn't know what would happen, when she would come home. How it would be. "Do…do you need anything for at home then?" he asked, a little bit nervous. Carol shook his head. "No…I don't need anything. I just want to go home", she answered kissing Tess' head.

When they left the room Carol followed them with her eyes. She took a deep breath and sighed. Everything seemed just harder now…

"Ready to go home?" Doug asked looking into the room about half past six finding Carol still in bed. She smiled. "Almost…they wanted to give me crutches…I'm not able to walk without them!" she answered, getting up a little. "Wait here, I'll get them!" he answered and with that he was gone.

Some minutes later he came back with the crutches. "Here you go! It was really hard to get them here…nothing changed in that place!" he laughed looking around. Carol nodded. "Still the same…I guess!"

Doug smiled again. He couldn't hide his happiness.

Carol took the crutches and tried to get up. She made a painful face. "You okay? Should I get a wheelchair?" Doug asked concerned. "No…no it's okay. I can do it!" Carol answered. Although she felt the pain in her feet and now in her hands too, she wanted to get along with this. So they went on slowly to get out of the hospital, Doug always supporting her.

"How was the therapy?" he asked, holding the door of the elevator up for her. "Exhausting…everything still hurts a little. I feel like a wreck!" she answered smiling. "Well, this takes time. Take it slowly. And I'm here to help!" Doug answered, looking straightly into her eyes. She smiled. "Thanks again, Doug!" she answered.

Some minutes later they arrived at Doug's car, where the twins were waiting for them. "Mommy! Finally you can come home!" Tess called when Carol opened the door. "Hey babies! Yeah, finally!" Carol smiled, trying to get into the car. "What are we doing now at home?" Kate asked. "What about making dinner for mommy?" Doug asked and the kids were happy with that.

On the way home Carol closed her eyes for a moment, when she had the first flashback of the accident. She just heard the squealing of the tires, nothing else. When she opened her eyes again, she was breathing hard. And she was just glad, that nobody recognized this.

When they arrived at home, Doug helped the kids out of the safety seats and then opened the door for Carol. The twins were running to the door and Carol smiled. The accident didn't change them. Doug helped her out of the car and gave the crutches to her. "Thanks, again, Doug!" she said when he closed the door. "Don't thank me all the time Care!" he answered smiling. How often did she say it now?

"I know…it's just so wonderful that you are here…helping us!" she said shyly, slowly walking to the house. Doug nodded. "It's great to be here!" ~After all this long, lonely years~

"Can we now watch cartoons pwease!!!" the twins shouted when Doug unlocked the door. "Can you?" Carol asked, like she always did when she tried to correct the twins. Kate rolled her eyes. Like she did all the time. "May we?" she asked looking at her mum. "You may for one hour. After that, bed!" Carol answered, dropping down on the couch. She was tired and so were the kids. Walking with the crutches made everything more painful. She wasn't able to carry her girls, she wasn't able to go for a walk with them, she wasn't able to drive a car. She didn't even know if she would ever drive a car again. Since that accident happened, which she still didn't remember, except of the flashback today, she was afraid. She was afraid that something could happen to her girls again.

"What do you want for dinner?" Doug asked when he saw the tears Carol was crying. He almost ran to her, sitting beside her and hugging her. "Hey…what's up Carol?" he asked. She shook her head. "I'm scared…" she answered, wiping away her tears. "Don't be. I'm here. The kids are okay. You'll get okay. I promise that everything will be okay!" Doug told her. Carol nodded. "I know…but, you know, I don't remember that damn accident. I have no idea how this could happen. I let my kids alone for over a month. I don't want that to happen ever again…it's awful, not knowing what happened. They're telling me so much, but I just don't remember!" She started to cry again. This was really hard. Doug kissed her forehead. "Listen…don't think about the accident now. When the time is right, you will remember everything. This won't be beautiful, but your memory will come back. Now, you just finish the therapy. You need to get some muscles again. And here, just relax. The accident was not your fault. You know that. And I won't let anything happen to you or the girls again! Now, what do you want for dinner?"

Carol smiled at him. She couldn't believe all this. "I'm not hungry at all…" she said. "But I am. And the kids are. And you need to eat!" She nodded. "I know. And…just ask the girls what they want. I'll be okay with that!" she answered. Doug nodded smiling at her.

After they had dinner, Doug put the dishes in the dishwasher and put the rest of the food away. When he finished, he searched the girls. "Kids, it's time for bed now!" he said and the twins started to whine. "No whining…go brush your teeth!" Doug smiled and the kids went to the bathroom.

Carol watched all this. Doug was a great father. How was she surviving without him the past four years?

She remembered the day he went away. The last night they were together. The tears both cried. That day she made the biggest mistake in her life.

She watched him bringing the kids to bed and reading a story to them. Kissing them good night. Covering them with their blankets. Saying I love you to them. With that, her silent tears came back.

Doug closed the door to the girls' room and saw Carol, still on the couch, crying. "Hey…what's wrong now?" he asked, taking a seat beside her.

"Where have you been those last four years?" she whispered, without looking at him.

"You're really asking me this?", he now asked her, not believing that she just asked this question. "You said I shouldn't come back here! It was you why I didn't come. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but I respected your wishes. I know now that this was a mistake…why Carol? Why didn't you want me to be here for our girls? For you?"

"God…I'm so sorry!" was everything she could say through her tears. "I'm sorry…if…if I could I would turn back the time and make everything different. God, you must hate me!"

"I can never hate you. I will never hate you!" ~Because I love you still so much~

"Care…when you were in that coma, I was so scared. I was scared that our last talk was the one four years ago. When the doc told me that things aren't the best with you, I thought I'd die too. I don't know…no, I don't want to think what would've been happening if you didn't survive this. When you opened your eyes…Carol…", he took her hand in his, almost crying, "the kids and I, we can't live without you!"

He looked away from her again; he just wasn't able to look into her eyes in that moment. Four years were a long time; he didn't know what happened in that four years, in their lives. He missed too much.

When Carol was still in the hospital he looked to photo albums with the girls. So many pictures of happy moments. But all pictures without Doug, who wanted to be on that pics, who wanted to live that moments again.

"I'm sorry…Doug, please believe me. I'm so sorry…" Carol answered, turning to him. Doug looked at her again.

"Tell me about you and our daughters. Tell me all about the last four years!" was Doug's wish.

"I told you everything in my letters…"

Doug shook his head. "But I want to hear it again, personally, from you."

Carol smiled a little and wiped away her tears. She nodded and thought about this hard, four years. Everything she could think about was how much she really missed him, how much she really missed his touch, his kisses, his hugs, and his love. ~Because I never stopped to love you~

She wanted to say it to him…badly. But she knew that now wasn't the right time. Not yet.

Four years. A long story.

~tbc~


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters in this story all belong to NBC, Warner Bros. and John Wells Productions. I don't make any profit out of this.

**A Long Story**

Continues right after "Back to Life"

"You know how their birth was…we talked that day on the phone. I was really glad that Mark was with me…but…you know, he was not the person I wanted to be there. But still he helped me a lot. Also while I was pregnant. Mark and Elizabeth were great. The birth was…well, exhausting, but I was so happy, that both were okay. That both were healthy babies. Kate really had a rough start, but she developed great, just like Tess. And I, well…it sucked to get a c-section, but it was necessary. You can't imagine how scared I was. I prayed to God that he should save her. When she came out, she was blue, Doug. Really blue. She didn't cry and all I was asking for was that cry. Until we heard the first tone I thought that the earth was standing still. And then everything happened so fast. I'm glad that I didn't get the hysterectomy. Mark told me later that I passed out because I lost so much blood. Guess I survived then for the second time. It's weird that I have so much luck. First I want to kill myself – I survive. Second I have a c-section and almost bleed out – I survive. Third I had an accident that I don't remember – I survive. I think I just need to thank God for my life. And for the life of Tess and Kate.

The first months were…hard. Really hard. I thought that I couldn't do it. I didn't get to sleep, I didn't get to clean up the house or anything. It was just all about the babies. When Tess was sleeping, Kate was awake and then the opposite. One of them always was awake. I cried a lot in that time because I knew that it could've been different. I missed you so much…you know; I often dialed your number. I just wanted to hear your voice, just to know that you are still there. But I always was so nervous then…son unsure of what to say.

When your letters came I was always reading them loud so the babies could hear them too. I knew that you've always loved them. I saw it in your letters all the time. When I think about it now it rips my heart apart. I've been such a jerk to not let you into their lives. I know that now.

Tess was all cranky when I started to wean them. But I couldn't do it anymore. It was so exhausting…I loved to nurse them, but you know, it were always two and not just one. I got a lot of help from my mum and Luka…well, Luka and I, we started to date for a while, but I just couldn't be with him. I just couldn't. It didn't feel right. I wasn't in love with him…I know he was hurt a lot, but I didn't want to hurt him more and ended everything. Now he's all happy with Abby and that's good I guess.

I always took the twins to the day care in the hospital, when I was working. First I started with a babysitter, but they wanted their mum and so I took them to the hospital. Both were great babies. No major problems at all. Just the well-known child diseases.

I think I told you about Lucy's death…man that was so…even after all these years I can't believe it! It's just so sad…and Carter really had luck.

After I heard about Lucy's death I went into the girls' room and took them out of their beds just to hold them. All night…I was holding them all night and singing to them, talking to them. I was just happy to have them and that they were healthy.

Tess started to walk when she was at the beginning of the tenth month. Kate started to walk with eleven months. They were quite a bundle. Nothing was safe from them anymore. And while Tess was the quiet one, Kate was all like Rambo. She wasn't afraid of anything; she reminded me a lot of you. When we were in the park she wasn't afraid to try the slide while Tess was all shy and stayed by my side. Kate always had blue blotches on her feet…but she never cried when falling down or something…she was a lot like a boy!

When they had their first birthday, I was thinking a lot about you. It was already one year that you missed in their lives.

And when you sent their present, I cried, while unpacking it for them. They looked at me, like they'd understand what I was feeling. I wanted you to be here, celebrating with us. I wanted nothing more. But…I just didn't want you to come for something you left behind.

I got used to that thought, I guess. I had to live on…maybe I just wanted to prove the world that I could do it alone. I don't know. I was broken inside.

I told them about you, almost every day. They were so silent, when I told them our story. They knew you from the pictures here in the house and they always knew that you are their daddy. I told them not to be mad at you, because it was mostly my fault that you weren't here. And they often asked me, when they got older, why I wouldn't change it. I didn't have an answer for them…well, I had, but I just couldn't tell them.

When they were about one and a half year old I started to go out with Ewan…we had three dates and then he found out that I have kids. I never heard from him again…I didn't mind it at all. It's just that I always had you in my thoughts. I couldn't love another man…I didn't want to love another man.

Life went on without a man. The twins and I, we were happy. We had a nice holiday in Michigan, in that house on the lake. They love to play in the water. It felt like they became my best friends…you know, we talked a lot. About life, about God and the world. We played together in the sand; we went for a long walk. It was awesome to be out of the city for one week and I guess the kids liked it too. It was great to see how they enjoyed it there and I guess they also enjoyed to have me all day.

Some weeks after our holiday your mum visited us. It was so great to see her and she was happy to see us. She's a great person. We talked a lot; it got really late, but I didn't mind, because we didn't see her that often, not even when we were together. Tess and Kate loved her too, she's a great grandmother. She told me a lot about your life, your childhood. I guess I had no idea how it really was…we never talked about that…

I told her that we were in Barstow when your dad died. And she told me that I changed your life…that I was good for you because she never saw you that happy before. But she also thought that you're stubborn…and that we will know what to do in the future.

Tess' and Kate's second birthday was all a mess…really! We invited friends from the day care, we had a clown, a magician and about ten, wild kids in our house. It was loud, it was chaotic and really crazy, but Tess and Kate were so happy…they had that light in their eyes…I wish you could've seen that. When they unpacked their presents they laughed so much and they really had fun. That made up for everything on that day. At night, when everybody was gone, we unpacked daddy's birthday present. They were so happy that you sent them these Hello Kitty sweaters. They loved Hello Kitty! Of course they wanted to wear them immediately and they didn't take it off until the next day. And of course they told the kids in the crib that these sweaters were from their daddy. They were really proud.

Kate also got more girly in their third year…she played with dolls and Barbies more, but in the crib she only had boy friends. I don't know if that's good or not, but I can't change what friends they have.

Tess wasn't playing with boys a lot. She didn't like them very much, but her best friend is Lisa and they know each other since the crib time. It's really great that Lisa is in the same kindergarten as the twins too. We often have their friends here. Lisa and also Danny, who is Kate's best friend, come over here a lot. And also the girls visit them often.

They never had problems finding friends…you know, they were just two normal kids.

We celebrated their third birthday without a big party at home. Instead we just went to McDonald's. Elizabeth and Ella came with us too and we all had fun. They always have that kids birthday parties there, so there was enough entertainment for the girls. The real present for them was the journey to Disneyland.

Two days after their birthday, Mark, Elizabeth, Ella, Tess, Kate and I flew to Disneyland in L.A. God, you can't imagine how nervous they were…but I guess not as nervous as I was. It was their first flight and they were so excited. Can you imagine how much they talked on the way to the airport? And also on the plane, they were really nervous then. The other passengers started to laugh at us, because the twins wouldn't stop to talk and then Ella joined them. We had so much fun with them! And then, when we arrived at Disneyland, all three of them were sleeping. We waited one hour in front of the Disney castle, just that they won't miss anything. And you should've seen their eyes when they woke up and they saw the caste and Snow-white in front of them! My god, you have to look at the pics we made. We really enjoyed those two days; it was a lot of fun. Maybe we can go there some time again. I guess the kids would love it. They were so happy…

About one week after that holiday Kate broke her arm when they were learning how to drive a bike. Normally, she was never crying when falling down or anything but that time she was screaming like somebody would kill her. I know that this hurts a lot, but I somehow had to laugh then, because she was always the strong one but then bawling her eyes out. She was so cute…when I held her she hugged me so tight and begging that I should make her hand okay. You know, she didn't stop to cry until she got the cast. Mark made it and he asked her how she liked it. And her answer was 'cool'. Kate was back.

I think that was the only major problem in this year, except of the flu and some colds and some bruises. The year went by so fast…and they're getting so big…sometimes I can't believe that they are four years old already.

Their fourth birthday was a party at home again, but this time without a clown and not so much kids. It was nice. You know, they get older and don't be that loud anymore. It was a nice little party with cake and presents and games.

This was five months ago. We had this accident. I don't know if it happened in the morning or in the evening, but it was when I either brought the kids to the kindergarten or got them from there. We don't drive with the car that often. Mostly we take the El. Why did we have to take the car that day?

Why didn't I let you into our lives before all this happened? It's always been you, Doug. I never stopped loving you. It has always been you."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Hey readers or not readers! FINALLY! Yes, I found this story again and decided to continue! Hope you like it!

**Hurting Wounds**

Continues right after "A long Story"

Doug soaked in every syllable of her words. He closed his eyes from time to time, just to try to imagine his kids when they were babies; when they started to walk; when they had their birthday. It hurt. It ripped his heart apart once more. And once again he asked himself, how he was able to do that. Staying away from them for four years. Missing their first breath, missing their first word, missing their first injuries. He could've been here. But damn, he wasn't. He missed everything. He didn't hold Carol's hand when she was in labor. He didn't change one diaper of his girls. All he did was just daydreaming and sitting on his porch to look to the stars above. God, he hated himself for that. He would never have this time back, not for all the money in the world. Carol didn't want him in their life anymore and so he respected this. But this wasn't right at all. He shouldn't even be called daddy because he wasn't. He never was their daddy. Doug loved his girls with every inch of his heart and he loved Carol; God, he loved her since they first met and he missed her every second of that four years. It was so wrong to go away from her. It was just wrong.

"_Why didn't I let you into our lives before all this happened? It's always been you, Doug. I never stopped loving you. It has always been you." _Carol's last words sounded and Doug noticed that they both were crying.

"It hurts", he whispered and buried his head in his hands. And how much it hurt. It hurt that he missed four years. It hurt that Carol was with other men. Didn't she always say that she wanted him to be her last one? Didn't she always say that only he knew where to touch her? Jesus Christ, this wasn't right. But what should he do? He couldn't turn back the hands of time. These four years happened and he wouldn't get them back. They had to except it and live on. Slow and easy. And they needed to talk. A lot.

"I know", her whisper reached his ears and he looked up at Carol again. God, even with these tears in her eyes she was the most beautiful woman on earth. "It could've been different, Carol", Doug said and looked away again. Carol just nodded. How many people told her that already? Her mom, Elizabeth, Mark and even Abby thought that she needed to be with Doug. "Every day…every second I was alone up there, I wished that you were there with me. It was…work was so different in Seattle. I was so used to have you near me, to work with you and sneak around in secret hospital rooms…but you weren't there and it ripped me apart. All I did was work and drink. I became the old Doug again. I mean…the years went by and all I could think about was that our girls would grow up and have birthdays and maybe have another dad", he continued and suddenly Carol took his hand in hers. "They never had another dad, Doug. You are their dad, nobody else", she said and wiped away a single tear from her cheek. Doug nodded and smiled a little, thinking about how much he loved them and how much he wanted to save them from pain. "I know…it's just…I hate myself for what I did to you. I hate myself for drinking again. I hate myself for everything and I don't know how to stop that", he continued truthfully and closed his eyes as he leaned back. "What happened then?" Carol asked. "What?" Doug asked back. "You stopped to drink again, didn't you? Why?" Carol explained to him.

Doug tried to smile and ran his hand through his hair. "I…I was sleeping away my hangover in the ER when suddenly somebody woke me up because of a MVA was coming in. A family. Mother, two kids and their father. The mother died in the OR and…damn, I can still see myself trying everything to save that kids. I…I just couldn't…they died in my arms, Care", it was still very hard for Doug to talk about this event and Carol listened to his words, remembering how hurting it was for him to lose a child. "Turned out that the father was drunk and of course that bastard survived. He killed his wife and his children and then I woke up from my depressed and stupid life. I mean…I thought about myself…doing this to my kids and started to realize that I don't want to be that kind of dad to them. I want to save them from such things, not hurt them and that's when I stopped to drink again. I mean…I'd kill myself if anything would happen to them. And when I got that call from Mark and saw you and the kids in the hospital…I really thought that I lost you", he finished and looked at Carol again. "I'm so sorry I did this to you, Doug", Carol whispered and the tears came back. "Oh Care…no, don't be. It's mostly my fault, I'd say. Well…it's our both fault, I'd say", he chuckled and suddenly Carol looked at him through her teary eyes and her heart started to beat faster. He chuckled. Doug Ross and his famous chuckle…how much did she miss that sound? God, it felt so good to have him here. "What?" Doug now asked again. "I missed you", she whispered, still her eyes on his.

She was in love with him. She loved this man since she was 23 years old. She felt empty when they were apart and she felt good when he was here. He was the father of her children. Her soulmate.

"I missed you, too…but I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Not again. I'm here", Doug smiled at her and Carol knew that everything would be better again. "Thank you...for everything", she answered. ~For being here. For making my life better. For giving me the most beautiful daughters in the world. ~

Doug smiled and nodded. "Please forgive me", Carol then said and squeezed his hand again. "I don't have anything to forgive. Let's…let's just forget the past for today, okay?" Doug answered and Carol nodded, not believing that she was able to leave that man. "Okay. I think it's time for bed now, isn't it…you've had a long day", Doug suggested and Carol nodded again. But she didn't want to let Doug go. Not this night, not tomorrow, never. "Doug…do you", she started but Doug interrupted her, as he got up from the couch. "I'll sleep on the couch today and you just call me, when you need anything, okay?" he said and Carol sighed. This wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Okay then", she answered and tried to get up from the couch. Every inch of her bones started to hurt as soon as she hit the ground with her feet. "Oh dammit…" she murmured and rolled her eyes; everything just went on too slowly. Doug chuckled again. "You need to be patient", he said and went to her to pick her up. Carol was really surprised and put her hands around his neck immediately. Thousands of thunderstorms ran through their bodies as they connected and Carol closed her eyes. It felt so good to be in his arms. She felt safe. Without thinking she snuggled her head in his neck, as Doug carried her to her bedroom. Nobody said a word. She smelled so good. And God, he didn't want to let her go. He belonged to her. She was his life.

Slowly and carefully he laid her on her bed. When his hands were free, he softly stroke over her cheek. "Doug…" she whispered and a single tear appeared in her eye. Their faces were just inches apart. Carol felt his breath on her and his eyes were locked with hers. Doug was lost in her eyes. He just wanted to feel her lips on his and so he kissed her. It felt like fireworks, earthquakes and hurricanes as their lips touched; it felt like the earth stopped to move; it felt like a dream came true. They fit perfectly together, just like they always did and it was the right thing to do. They belonged to each other. And then Carol ran her hand through his hair above his neck and Doug stopped. This. Her touch. Doug felt this touch the last time four years ago, in their last night together and it sent shivers down his spine. "Please stay", Carol whispered which were almost the same words as in this one night. Doug looked into her eyes again and he saw her pain in it. But he just smiled. "I will", was all he said before he kissed her again shortly. He didn't want to spend the night on the couch. All he wanted to do was to hold Carol, to soak in her scent and to wake up with her again tomorrow. So he crawled under her blanket and snuggled close to her. Carol closed her eyes and thanked God for everything. "You okay?" Doug whispered as he put his hand around her and stroke over her fingers. "Never felt better", Carol answered and smiled. "Good. And now try to sleep. I'm here, okay?" Doug said and buried his head a little bit in her thick curls. "Okay", was her short answer before she closed her eyes. Her only fear was that all this was just a dream…

* * *

Doug lay awake in this position and all he could do was think about everything. He was where he wanted to be. And he felt never happier in his life. Now everything was going to be okay again. Slowly, but eventually. They sure had to work out a few things, but at least they had a proof that they still were in love with each other. From now on, he would get her the stars from the sky. He would never leave her or his girls again. He would help Carol to get better and one day he wanted to marry her and make babies with her again. They made beautiful kids. Tess and Kate were the most beautiful girls in the world. They were great. Doug loved them so much and he would never stop.

Then it was Tess' screaming which woke him up from his thoughts. Carol stirred. "My God, what's going on?" she murmured, tired from sleeping and turning around to Doug. He could feel that she was in pain. "Stay in bed…I'm going to look after her", he whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead. Carol nodded and Doug went out of the bedroom.

"Hey little munchkin…what's going on?" he asked as he entered the twins room. Tess and Kate sat up in their beds. Kate just yawned but Tess looked like after a shock. "Daddy…the accident…I…there was a truck…mom couldn't get away!" she bawled and Doug hugged her tightly. "Shhh…it's okay baby. It was just a bad dream. We're here. It was just a dream", he tried to calm her down. His daughter was shaking in his arms. "It's going to be okay. Right Kate?" he turned around to Kate who was almost asleep again. "Yeah daddy", she said yawning and holding her teddy tight. "I wanna go to my moooommmmyyy", Tess screamed and the tears ran down her cheeks. "When she's allowed to sleep in mommy's bed, I wanna sleep in mommy's bed too", Kate frowned. Doug sighed. "Okay…okay", he answered, too tired to complain. "Then let's go to mommy's bed", he continued and Tess jumped out of her bed. Kate followed her and then Doug followed them both.

When he got back to the bedroom, Tess and Kate both lay on bed, needing all the space. "Here's a place for you", Kate said and pointed to her left side. "But what when I squash you?" he whispered and made a funny face. Tess and Kate just laughed and so Doug somehow jumped on the bed and tickled them. Of course Carol woke up from their laughter and she turned around slowly. "Hey girls…please stay quiet and lay still…mommy is still hurt", she murmured but smiled at her daughters. "Mommy, I dreamt of an accident", Tess told her and made a sad face. "Oh baby…you're safe now. Nothing is going to happen", Carol answered yawning. Doug smiled at her. "Okay mommy, I love you", Tess answered and finally closed her eyes. "I love you too, mommy", Kate said and closed her eyes too. "I love my little babies too", Carol answered and then looked at Doug. She loved him too. And he loved her, too. It wasn't necessary to say those words now, because they knew it already. And as Carol closed her eyes too, with a satisfied smile on her face, Doug watched her, together with his daughters. They looked like a little family. They **were** a little family.

~tbc~


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Hello, hello, hello! Thanks to **Electra de Lioncourt** for the lovely review, that made my day! Here's something new for you and I hope you like that one too (I know that everything's happening so quickly, but maybe I'll get to special things later on...)**  
**

**Long Way to Happy**

Continues the morning after "Hurting Wounds"

As Carol woke up, first thing she felt was pain. Her muscles hurt, her head hurt, her scars hurt. The only thing that wasn't hurting anymore was her heart. She felt happy and although it felt like she couldn't move, she tried to turn around, just to take a glimpse of the beautiful face of Doug. Every move hurt and she wondered when this would be over. When she finally was laying on her other side, she only found Tess and Kate, cuddled up on the other side of the bed. Doug wasn't here. She immediately thought that yesterday was just a dream but then again she could still feel his lips on hers. The firework was still burning inside of her, so it was definitely not a dream. She smiled then as she watched her daughters. They finally were able to spend time with their daddy and she could tell already that they adored him; they loved him. She decided to get up then, although it felt like a mission impossible. Minutes later she finally was on her feet but then she noticed that her crutches were still in the living room. Should she call after Doug now? She didn't want to wake up the twins. No, she wasn't able to walk. So she sat back down in bed and just waited. God, this was frustrating. Carol buried her head in her hands and sighed. She knew that it would take a long time until she was fine again.

"Good morning…everything okay?" she suddenly heard Doug and she looked up. "Morning", she smiled and nodded. "I'm not able to walk and it hurts like hell", she finished. "Let me get your crutches", Doug answered and he disappeared again. Carol sighed. She just wanted to get up, hug him and kiss him, ran her hands trough his hair and make love with him. Man, she almost forgot how cute he looked in the morning. His hair was always a mess in the morning, that didn't change. "Here you go…I already prepared breakfast", Doug said as he came back and helped Carol up. "Thank you", she answered and felt his hands on her like fire. "Did you sleep well?" Doug asked then as he helped Carol to get out of the bedroom. "I think so…but I woke up this morning and everything hurts so much…what about you, did you sleep well?" she asked back and Doug shrugged his shoulders. "I had to sleep on the couch, so…I'm not used to it", he smiled and helped Carol to sit down at the table. "Why? Not enough space in my bed?" she chuckled and Doug nodded. "Have you seen your daughters? A king size bed is too small for them", he chuckled and handed her a cup of coffee, water and her pills. Carol put her hand on his before he could take it away again. Her heart started to pound. It felt like they were a fresh couple who just fell in love. Doug looked at her and smiled before his lips touched hers again. After the kiss Carol closed her eyes but rested her forehead on his. "Do you know how much I love you? How much I missed you?" she whispered and finally said the words to him that burned in her since four years. Doug touched her cheek and kissed her again. It felt so good to kiss her again. "I love you too, Carol", he whispered back and smiled then, as he wiped away a tear on Carol's cheek. "Can we work this out? Please Carol…I'm sorry I walked away. I'm sorry I let you down. I don't…I can't live without you", he continued and Carol stroke over his cheek. "We always worked things out, didn't we", she chuckled through her teas and looked directly into Doug's eyes. "And I can't live without you either…I'm so glad you're here", she finished and Doug kissed her again shortly. It felt so new but also so familiar, like he has never been away. "Now you only have to get better…and I'm here to help", Doug said as he got up again. "Yeah…that's the plan", Carol sighed but smiled then.

* * *

After they brought the kids to kindergarten, they were on the way to physical therapy for Carol. Sitting in a car made Carol nervous. She didn't talk, she felt hot, then cold and she was afraid to close her eyes. Would it ever be like that? She still didn't know how this accident happened. Was it her fault, or was it the truck driver's fault…she had no idea. People told her about the accident, but that were only stories. She needed to know what happened. "Care? Are you okay?" Doug suddenly asked and put his hand on her knee. "I guess I'm not", she murmured and breathed quickly. "Hey…hey, take a deep breath…relax okay? It's okay", Doug said as he finally found a parking space and stopped the car there. "Carol…look at me", he said and so she did. He could see the fear in her eyes. "Everything is okay. You're safe. Nothing happened. Calm down…I'm here. I'm here", he tried to calm her down. Carol was shaking and she closed her eyes. "Carol…listen to me. Five minutes. Give me five minutes until we're there okay? Just…just think about something nice. Think about the laughter of our daughters. Or your beautiful holiday in Michigan. Remember when we stole the crash carts from cardiology?" Doug told her a lot of things she could think of. And Carol listened to them and her breath slowed down. As Doug promised, they soon arrived at county. "We're here…you did great. We made it", he said and smiled as Carol opened her eyes again. "Oh God", she said in relief. "Pretty scary, huh?" Doug said and Carol nodded. "It's okay to have those reactions but I guess you need professional help", he said and helped Carol out of the car. "I think so too. This is horrible, Doug", she said as Doug hugged her tight. "I know…you'll be okay. It just takes some time", Doug said and stroke over her back. "What would I do without you?" Carol asked and touched his hair above his neck again, like she always did. Doug shivered again. How did he survive without her? "I love you", he just said and kissed her and she melted in his arms.

* * *

While Carol had her physical unit, Doug visited Mark downstairs. As soon as he left the elevator, the familiar sound of the ER rang out. Doug smiled as he remembered all the good times he had here but of course he didn't forget the bed times. The Ricky Abbot case, Kerrey Weaver and Robert Romano. Shrugging his shoulders with a smile he searched for Mark. "Hey…I'm looking for Dr. Greene", he said at the desk where only a doctor he didn't know was standing. "And you are…" he asked back. "Oh…Doug Ross, I'm an old friend", Doug smiled and the doctor nodded. "So you are the guy who let his daughters and Carol down", the doctor said and came closer. "Excuse me?" Doug said, not believing that this was happening just now. And then he saw the name on the doc's ID. Luka Kovac. "Is this some of your business?" Doug asked again and Luka shrugged his shoulder. "It was…long time ago", Luka answered. "It was...so, mind your own business okay?" Doug said louder than he wanted and Luka shook his head smiling. "Hmm…four years…I'll get Mark then", he chuckled and went away. Doug was in a rage. Of course it was a mistake, but it wasn't his fault all alone. So…why did this Luka have to twist the knife in the wound?

"Hey Doug! What's up?" Mark then said and interrupted Doug's thoughts. "Oh…hey Mark. I just…I…I wanted to come by while Carol is in therapy upstairs", he said and finally smiled again. "You look worried. Is everything okay? How's she feeling? Did you work things out, huh?" Mark grinned. "This Luka guy…how long did Carol and he date?" Doug asked. "Oh…" Mark now nodded. "Yeah, I just heard a very nice comment", Doug answered. "Don't worry Doug…Carol broke his heart at that time. Now he's happy with Abby…I guess. So, how's Carol doing? And Tess; is she okay?" Mark asked as they went to the lounge.

"Carol is still in pain a lot and she can't drive with a car yet. Today she had a panic attack. I guess she needs a lot of help the next few weeks. Tess is okay, still some bad dreams now and then but she recovered really quickly. Except of that everything is fine", Doug smiled and got himself a cup of coffee. "Is this still as disgusting as four years ago?" he asked and Mark nodded laughing. "So…you two are together again?" Mark asked and Doug turned around smiling. "I guess so. We talked…a lot. I love her, Mark", Doug said and sat down on the couch. "I know you do. And I'm happy for you two. Carol was really desperate without you, so I guess it's about time", Mark chuckled and punched Doug's shoulder. Doug smiled. He felt like a young teenage boy who just found his first love. "So…what about work?" Mark then asked. "I'd like to submit an application, but I'm not sure if you want to have a pediatric attending", Doug sighed. He loved to be a pediatrician, but he was the boss in Seattle. He needed this money. "Well, Kerry Weaver and Romano are gone, so…bring that application!" Mark smiled and Doug looked at him with big eyes. "Are you really sure? What about that Luka Kovac?" Doug asked. "You have to get along with him. He's okay, Doug!" "Yeah", Doug said and shook his head smiling.

* * *

"Hey Carol", she heard Luka say and looked up. "Luka! Hey…how was Croatia? You have been to Croatia, right?" she asked and Luka nodded as he took place on a chair. "I was…just came back yesterday. How are you? I heard about the accident", Luka answered. Carol sighed. "Well, as you can see, I'm still recovering. I can't remember the accident, but I was in a coma for almost a month. Pretty scary huh?" she smiled a little. "Wow. I'm glad you're better now…but as I heard, you get a lot of help", he said seriously. Carol looked at him and tried to sit up. "I do…and is this a problem?" she answered. "I can't believe you let him back now", Luka said and Carol closed her eyes. "I love him, Luka", she just said, as she looked at him again. "He let you down, Carol! You and the twins! He didn't even come back to Chicago to see them!" Luka got angry. "O come on Luka…I don't know why I'm even discussing this with you…I mean, I explained it to you and you still don't get it, do you?" Carol got angry too but she was exhausted and tired and not in the mood for this talk. "Why do you even care? I thought you were happy with Abby", she said calmly again. "I am. I just…I just want you to be happy", Luka answered. "I am. I am happy. He makes me happy", Carol answered with a smile as she thought about Doug. "That's what matters. Good luck, then", Luka said and left the room again. Carol closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't expect that.

"Okay, here I am again. Sorry it took me so long", the physic therapist said as she came back. "No problem, I'm okay", Carol answered with a smile.

Only some minutes later Doug arrived and watched Carol do her exercises. From time to time she groaned because of the pain she felt. Doug wanted her to be okay again. He hated to see her in pain. But then again it was better that she was here and not in a coma or dead. They just needed to be patient. "Hey", he then said to the therapist and Carol turned her head. "Hey Doug", she smiled, happy to see him. "How's it going?" Doug asked. "Almost done here…we just have to discuss the exercises for at home", Jane said. "Okay. I'll wait then", Doug said and took a seat on the chair.

* * *

"Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!" the twins screamed as they left the kindergarten building and ran directly in his arms. God, this felt good. He brought them to and got them from kindergarten before, but it was still so new to him. "Hey babies! How was it?" he asked and bent down to them to kiss them. "Oh it was great daddy! We painted a picture for you and mommy", Kate said and held hers up. "Wow", Doug chuckled, "you're artists!" The picture showed two girls playing soccer and two adults who would be Doug and Carol. "I wanted to paint a doll too, but Kate didn't let me", Tess frowned. Doug chuckled again. "Oh…but it's beautiful. C'mon, let's show it to mommy", he said and took Tess' and Kate's hand.

When Carol saw them coming, love overwhelmed her. Seeing Doug with the twins was like heaven. No, she could never imagine another daddy for them. "Hey mommy, we painted a picture for you!" Tess said as Doug opened the door for them and she crawled in. Carol smiled. "Wow, let me see it", she said but was angry again that turning her head around hurt so much. Doug handed her the picture who noticed this. "Aww baby that's beautiful", she said and smiled as she noticed that Tess and Kate started to paint family pictures again. "Are you okay?" Doug asked her. "I am. Thank you", she answered smiling. Truth was, all of her muscles hurt again because of her fear of driving. If she could only knew what happened on that day…


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** Awwww, I'm so glad that there are still some people out there who are reading this! Thank you, **AliceJM****, **for your comment and for reading! Means a lot 3 Hope you all like the next chapter :D

* * *

**I'll be waiting**

Some days later…

Carol was nervous. She was sitting in the waiting area and reading a sentence of a magazine for the 10th time. The last time she was here was when she survived her suicide attempt. Wow, she thought, that was a lifetime ago. Somehow she was glad how her life went. Carol couldn't imagine how her life would have been if she'd married Taglieri or if she stayed with Shep. She had to grin then because some time after Shep she started to go out with Doug again. And he was the only one she ever loved with all her heart and her body and…just everything. He was her life.

"Carol…you can come in now. Do you need help?" the desk clerk interrupted her thoughts and Carol looked up. "I think it's okay, thank you", she answered and got up slowly. Physical therapy started to help. She still felt the pain in her feet but at least her hands got used to the crutches. "Ms. Hathaway…what happened?" Dr. Parrish asked and interrupted her thoughts again. "Hello Dr. Parrish…I had an accident. That's why I'm here", she said and closed the door behind her. "Then take a seat", he answered with his pleasant voice. "It's been years since you last visited", he added, as he looked at Carol's case history. "Yeah…life got better", she said as she finally was sitting again. "That's great…did you work things out with…Dr. Taglieri? Your mom?" Dr. Parrish asked. Carol smiled. "I did…somehow. I left Tag and well, my mom fell in love again some years later and she's still happy with Javier", Carol answered. "What about Doug?" Adam immediately asked. Carol smiled and was amazed that he still remembered everything.

"Oh…that's a long story", Carol answered, still smiling. "We have an hour", Adam smiled. Carol leaned back. "He changed…a lot. I was going out with Shep after Taglieri and Doug, well I knew that the feelings for him were still there, but I wasn't ready and I guess Doug wasn't ready either. He still was the same back then. Drinking, having women…but then when one of his one night stands almost died because of an overdose, he started to change. We became real good friends. He…we could talk about everything and he was so nice. He threw me a surprise birthday party, he helped me when I wanted to study medicine and well, some time I came home from a stupid date and he waited at my porch and there he kissed me." Carol smiled as she remembered that night. She remembered how much love and longing she felt for Doug at that moment. "I was in love, Dr. Parrish…but so afraid of getting hurt again. He asked me to marry him but I ran away, although I knew, I felt that he loved me, that he needed me. I…I was just scared. Good thing was that Doug waited for me. He didn't run away like I did, so…we worked things out again. Two years later we tried to get a baby", Carol smiled again. "That's good news", Adam smiled and Carol nodded. "Yeah well…we were happy and in love. But then this sick boy came to the hospital and…I think I told you how Doug feels when he can't save a kid's life…Ricky had no chance to survive, so Doug just…he just didn't want that this boy felt any pain. The chief of staff suspended him then but he quit. It was just so much tension between him and the bosses. So he quit and told me he had a job offer in Seattle and he asked me to come. But I was so mad at him. He didn't tell me anything about the Ricky Abbot case, that he helped the boy to die and he just ran away again. I mean, we tried to get a baby but he ran away. I was really mad", Carol looked up to Dr. Parrish again. "But?" he asked. "Everybody was mad at Doug, me inclusive and I didn't realize that Doug was hurt too because of me. I should've been there for him but I was like everybody else. I didn't even ask him how he felt or if he needed any help. And then he left and I didn't go with him", she sighed and stopped there. It was the first time she actually spoke with anybody about that time of her life. "Why not? You loved him, didn't you", Adam asked. "I did…I was just so hurt that he chose Seattle over me. I was hurt, I was mad at him and I was too stubborn to go with him. Believe me, if I could turn back time, I would do everything differently", Carol answered. Dr. Parrish nodded. "You know, Carol…when you visited me after you tried to kill yourself, you were a wreck. I knew back then that only Doug could save you, but according to your story I guess I was wrong", Adam answered. Carol shook her head. "The story isn't over", she said and Adam leaned back. "I got pregnant", she sighed. "I found out some days after he left and when I told Doug about it, I asked him not to come back…stupid, right?" she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "And he didn't come back?" Adam asked. "He didn't because he respected my wish. I gave birth to twin girls, Tess and Kate; they're four years old now. But I stayed in touch with Doug for four years. We talked on the phone, we wrote letters, he sent presents for the girls and God, he asked me every single time to come to Seattle. I was so stupid. I always said no and I didn't even ask him to come to Chicago. I missed him so much and didn't ask him to come, can you imagine?" Carol sighed again. "Actually, I think I can. For me, that is real love. You were scared to get hurt again and Doug respected your wish. That's real love. He did it for you. But I can see that it hurts right? It hurts that you didn't go with him; that he wasn't there when you gave birth; that he wasn't there for you, right?" Dr. Parrish asked and Carol nodded. "It did hurt and I hate myself for doing this", Carol answered and looked down again. "So…what are you waiting for? Don't you think it's time to go to him? To be happy again?" Dr. Parrish asked. Carol smiled then. "Well…no need to. He's back…I had this car accident and I was in a coma for almost a month. Doug came back to be there for his girls. Dr. Parrish…I…I can't remember that damn accident…and my daughters were hurt too and I just couldn't help them, you know? I was in a coma and couldn't be there for our girls!" A single tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away with her hand. Adam nodded and took a deep breath. "You don't remember anything about that accident and now you hate yourself for doing this to your kids?" he asked and Carol nodded. "I…Everybody told me that it wasn't my fault. I was standing at a traffic light when a truck hit our car…but I don't remember it. I don't know what happened and now, every time I'm sitting in a car I get scared as hell. I hear the wheels squeaking of the truck and everything around us is just loud and…I'm just so scared. I think I cannot drive a car again until I know what happened", Carol said. "I see. Well…our hour is over, but I think it's great that you can talk about it. You're thinking about it. Tell you what, Carol. Come back next Wednesday. Until then, you try to talk with Doug or your girls. Maybe some of your memory comes back. Also, you need to get better. When you're able to walk again, we'll do an intensive therapy", Dr. Parrish said and Carol looked at him. "That means?" she asked. "We'll take driving lessons", Adam answered. Carol nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay. I…thank you, Dr. Parrish", she answered and got up from her seat again. "No problem. I'm here to help", he said. "Also, you should stop being that stubborn and think about you and not just about others around you. Talking about Doug here", Adam smiled and helped her to get out of the office.

Doug looked up and smiled as he saw Carol and Adam. "Doug, nice to see you here! How are you?" Adam said and they shook hands. Carol looked at both with a furrowed brow. "Hey Adam. Been a long time…I'm good. I'm good again", Doug chuckled. Adam nodded smiling. "Good to hear! Carol, we see us next week again, okay? Amy, when am I free?" he asked his assistant. "2 pm would be free", Amy answered and Carol nodded. "Okay. Thanks", she answered and then they said their good byes.

* * *

"Okay…before you ask, he was my doc too. I visited him after the Nadine Wilkes stuff until well…until I left Chicago", Doug told Carol when they went to the El-Station. He didn't come with the car because he knew how scared Carol was. "I had no idea, Doug!" she answered smiling. Doug Ross went to a shrink. Wow. So Adam knew that Doug was leaving to Seattle back then. Carol shook her head again but smiled. "What?" Doug asked. "Maybe everything would have been different if I didn't stop to see him…" Carol said sadly. Doug took her hand in his. "Don't think about the past okay? It happened and we can't change it. Just…just try to forget it okay?" Doug answered and Carol nodded and smiled a little. "Okay…I'll try not to talk about it but I think I will never be able to forget it", Carol said and laid her head on Doug's shoulder. "Yeah…that's not possible", Doug sighed. ~Because it hurt too much~

"So, what did Dr. Parrish say?" Doug asked then. "Well…we should talk a lot about the accident. I should talk with the kids too and when I'm better, I have to take driving lessons again", Carol told him. "I see. I hope I can help you. I really hope you feel better soon", Doug said and kissed her hair. "I hope so too. I mean, this sucks. All my muscles hurt and I can't do anything", Carol frowned. Doug nodded. "I know but…you'll get better. You had a lot of luck. I'm glad you opened your eyes that day. Some hours later and…" Doug said but she interrupted him. "Didn't you just say we shouldn't talk about the past anymore? I'm alive. So alive that I feel every millimeter of my body, actually", she now chuckled and looked at Doug again. "And I'm happy about that", he chuckled with her.

* * *

"Wait…we forgot to get our daughters!" Carol now said as they were back on the way to her house. Our daughters; how beautiful that sounded. "Don't worry. They're at your mom's today", Doug said and opened the front door. "Oh…okay then. So, will you help me with my exercises?" Carol asked, coming in right behind him. Doug turned around and picked her up quickly. Carol laughed. "Of course I'll help", he said and kissed her. Carol slung her arms around his neck and melted into the kiss. Suddenly Doug noticed Carol's tears. "Care…what's up now?" he asked and laid her on the couch. "Nothing…I'm just…how…how did I deserve this? You should be mad at me or…angry. I can't believe that you don't hate me", she said and looked away from him. Doug smiled then and cupped her chin so she could look at him. "I'm not mad. I'm not angry and I don't hate you. I love you. I've always loved you. I will always love you and only you. We belong together. No way we can live without each other. Those four years have been the most maddening, awful and loneliest years of my life. You made a mistake and I made a mistake. Now let's not make mistakes anymore", he said and smiled at her before he kissed her again, very passionately, to seal this new promise. Again, Carol put her arms around his neck and played with his hair above his neck again. "Don't do this", Doug murmured chuckling. "I know. You should stop kissing me then", she murmured into the kiss. "I have to make up four years…let me kiss you", he said and looked at her. "You're so beautiful", he then whispered and put a curl behind her ear. "Oh stop it Doug…I'm bruised everywhere, I didn't gain any weight yet…" she complained. "I wish I could make love to you now", he whispered and smiled again. Carol chuckled. "Believe me, this is my wish since I opened my eyes again", she answered and stroke over his cheek. "I'll wait. I'll wait until you ready and I'll give you the most amazing night ever", he promised her and kissed her again. "I love you, Doug", she then said and smiled. Doug sat back and took her hand in his again. "I'm glad you do…'cause…I really thought that you didn't love me anymore…that…that I hurt you too much that you couldn't love me anymore and…I thought that I wouldn't see my daughters ever…and…when I saw you lying on that hospital bed, I was scared to death of losing you. I thought I'd lose you forever", he said and stroked over the back of her hand with his thumb. Carol soaked in every word and she closed her eyes as she listened to his voice. Was it even possible to love him that much?

Right in that moment she had a flashback again. She remembered how she was wheeled into the ER. She heard the voices of Mark, Elizabeth and also Carter. Haleh was there and then everything disappeared again. "Doug", she said and Doug looked at her. "I remember something", she said and noticed that her heart was beating like crazy.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:** YAY, a new chapter! This one is pretty intense IMO, but I hope you like it ;) finally some progress! So, pls let me know if I should continue this or not. Love you readers!**  
**

* * *

**Counting on a Miracle**

"Kate?" Carol asked as she looked up from the TV magazine. "Yeah?" little Kate asked and crawled on the couch to her mom. "I know we talked about this before, but…can you tell me again what happened on that day when we had the accident? It's…I can't remember everything, you know? And it would be really important for me to know what happened", Carol explained to Kate. Kate sighed. She was so tired of telling that story. "Okay mommy", she answered nevertheless and crawled on Carol's lap. "Thank you baby", Carol said and kissed Kate's head. "My sister and I were at the kindergarten. We couldn't go out to the playground because it was raining", Kate started and Carol closed her eyes as she tried to remember that day. It had been raining since three days and the kids were really bored because of playing inside all the time. "And after lunch you came in to pick us up", she heard her daughter. Carol knew exactly what they were wearing that day. Kate was wearing her red shorts, her Nike sneakers and her black Chicago Bulls sweatshirt, because she didn't want to get her hair wet when it was raining. Tess wore jeans, a pink Disney shirt and the same sneakers as Kate. She had to get her jacket from the wardrobe and it still had some raindrops on it. They said good bye to their friends and ran to Carol's car.

*flashback*

"Mommy…open the car! It's raining so much!" Kate called and turned around to Carol. "I'm coming, I'm coming! It's just rain, it won't kill you", she laughed and pushed the button to open the doors. Tess and Kate immediately crawled into their car seats. Tess had hers behind the driver seat and Kate had hers behind the co-driver seat. "I don't like rain", Kate frowned and crossed her arms in front of her. "I know honey, but I can't change the weather!" Carol smiled again and fastened her seatbelt. "Yeah, it sucks!" Tess then said and Carol looked at her with big eyes. Where did she catch that phrase? "Tess, guard your tongue", Carol said reminding and Tess rolled her eyes. She was really in a bad mood the last few days because of a cold that was bugging her. "Well…let's hope the sun comes back soon, right? Maybe it's raining because you didn't finish dinner yesterday", Carol said as she fastened Tess' seatbelt too and finally started the car. She saw David, Patrick's dad and waved at him. Sighting, she thought of Doug again. Would he pick up the girls from kindergarten too? Would he make them their lunch box for kindergarten in the morning? "Mommy, what can we do today?" Kate then asked and interrupted her thoughts. "I don't know. You have tons of toys at home", Carol answered and looked into the back mirror to watch her girls. Kate sighed and Tess slowly fell asleep. Carol hoped that she wasn't running a fever again. "I wish we could go swimming", Kate pouted. "I'm sure the sun will be back soon, honey", Carol said and then looked out of the window because she heard a horn.

*flashback end*

"And then that truck hit our car…baaaammmm! My hand was hurt and I was crying and I couldn't see you or Tess, I was scared but I heard you say some words, mommy", Kate told her and Carol stroke over Kate's hand. She heard this story for a dozen times now but all she could remember was that talk with Kate, not how the truck hit the car or what happened then. "I said some words? What did I say, can you remember?" Carol now asked. "Yeah…you called after Tess, me and daddy", Kate answered. "Daddy too?" Carol asked again and Kate nodded. "I think so. I think I screamed too loud to understand anything", Kate then said and Carol nodded. "Thank you for telling me this again", Carol said and hugged her daughter before she kissed her. "No problem mommy. I hope I'm telling this right but that's all I remember", Kate shrugged and smiled. "That's okay. I love you, do you know that?" Carol answered. "I love you too, mommy", Kate answered and snuggled closer to her mom. Since Carol woke up from the coma, Kate needed more hugs from her mom, Carol noticed. "When will Tess be back?" Kate then asked. "I don't know. Daddy took her to the hospital for a check up. I guess they'll be back soon", Carol answered and smiled at her daughter. Kate smiled too. "Are you happy that daddy is here?" Carol asked. "Oh yes, daddy is funny, I love him too", Kate smiled and Carol's heart warmed up inside of her.

* * *

Kate was taking a nap in her room and Carol slowly fell asleep on the couch. Since she started to walk without crutches again, she was tired all the time. At least she didn't feel that much pain anymore. Her physical therapist was a goddess. Carol felt better and better after every meeting. Also, talking with Dr. Parrish seemed to help a lot. And there was Doug. He was helping so much and god, she was so happy that he was here. She loved him so much.

As soon as she fell asleep, she started to dream.

*** _"Oh God…Tess, Kate, are you okay?" she screamed and the tears ran down her face. All she felt was a hell of a pain. Everything hurt. There was blood. She was going to die and her daughters didn't answer. "Doug…I need to see Doug", were her last words, before everything got black around her and she closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, the pain was worse. She saw a light and then she heard Mark's voice. Where were her kids? Was she dead already? Was this heaven? Elizabeth…she was here too. "C'mon Carol…you need to fight", she heard and suddenly everything was silent._

_She didn't hear anything what felt like weeks. It was still black around her. Of course, she was dead. She left her kids; she didn't get a chance to tell Doug that she loved him. She was gone. Forever. She wouldn't be able to make up for her mistakes…_***

"Carol? Oh…shh…mommy is sleeping", she suddenly heard Doug and opened her eyes. "Hey you two…I'm awake!" she smiled and sat up again. "Oh sorry, we didn't want to wake you up", Doug said and went to her to give her a kiss. Tess giggled. This was kinda new for the girls. "No problem. What did they say to my little princess?" Carol then asked as she picked up Tess and sat her on her lap. "Everything is okay mommy!" Tess answered smiling. "That's great. I'm glad", Carol answered and kissed her daughter on the cheek. "Did you eat something already? I left some of the chicken in the fridge", she now asked Doug. Doug looked at Tess and tried to hide a smile. "Ooooh…have you been at McDonald's? C'mon, tell me truth!" Carol said and started to tickle Tess. "Yeah mommy, but I'm not allowed to tell you", Tess laughed. "Ooh, Tess", Doug chuckled and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. "I have to talk to daddy, okay?" Carol then said and followed him.

"Now look at you…quick as a flash", Doug said and put his hand around her waist. Carol put her hand around his neck and kissed him. "I dreamt of the accident…I don't know if it was real or not, but it feels like now I know what happened", Carol said smiling. "Tell me about it", Doug answered and guided her to the table.

Carol told him about her morning at work on that day; about getting the kids from kindergarten; the rain; that she thought about him when she saw David; that Kate was mad because of the bad weather; about the horn of the truck; about a screaming Kate, about the blood and about the voices of Mark and Elizabeth. When she finished, she noticed that her hand was shaking. Doug took it in his and stroke over it with his thumb.

"Sounds quite real to me, Carol", he answered and she looked at him nodding. "It's just…I don't feel better now", she said and sighed. Doug smiled a little. "What did Adam say? Didn't he say that you don't have to know what happened, but you have to accept what happened? Carol…this accident happened and you can't make it undone", Doug tried to explain to her and Carol nodded again. "I know. I mean, just look at our kids. They act like it never happened. Why can't I be like that?" she asked. "Because you feel guilty. But you know that it wasn't your fault, right?" Doug asked. "Yeah. That's what everybody tells me. I was standing at a red traffic light and the truck hit me unchecked. I was looking at the back mirror to my kids. Maybe my reaction would've been better if I focused on the street. So it was my fault too", she said and sighed. "No, Care. It wasn't. You have to stop to think this", Doug said and got up from the chair. "Don't go away…" she tried to complain but Doug joined Tess in the living room.

Seconds later Carol came from the kitchen. "I'm sorry", she said and smiled a little. "I know", Doug answered without looking away from the TV. "Are you mad at me?" she asked standing in front of him now. "Nope", he said and finally looked at her. Carol bowed her head smiling again. Doug didn't say a word but furrowed his brow. "What?" Carol now asked. "I have an idea", Doug answered. "When Kate wakes up." So Carol had to wait.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Carol asked as the four sat in Doug's car, driving to nowhere. "Just wait. I have to show you something", Doug answered. Carol didn't have a good feeling about this and she looked out of the window again. She still had a queasy feeling when she was sitting in a car and she didn't even try to drive yet. "We're here", Doug said and Carol finally noticed where they were. "Do we get a new car?" Kate asked who looked out of the window too. "But there are only damaged cars", Tess said. "We're here to see YOUR damaged car", Doug answered. "No good idea", Carol murmured but got out of the car nevertheless. "Cool!" Kate just said as Doug opened her door and tried to help the kids out. "Yeah…don't know about that", Carol murmured again and took Tess' hand.

"Oh my God", Carol said as they finally arrived by the damaged thing that was her car once. She left Tess and went closer to the grey something. Nobody said a word. She just couldn't believe it. It was pushed in the driver's side, there wasn't a door anymore and everything was damaged on the inside. The kid's car seats were still in it but Tess' wasn't a car seat anymore. It was horrible. It was a wonder that they survived in this. They were nearly squeezed to death. Silent tears ran down Carol's face as she decided to run a hand over the cold metal. She closed her eyes. All the flashbacks from this day came back. She saw Tess and Kate, she saw the truck, she saw the traffic light, she heard the sound of the crash, she heard Kate's screaming, she felt the pain and she saw the tears she cried when she was wheeled into the ER. She felt the scalpel on her skin, she felt the tube in her throat, she felt the fear of dying; she felt everything except of her heart. Her heart wasn't beating anymore. But all this didn't matter. All she could think of were her daughters. What happened to Tess and Kate? Why didn't she go to Doug? Why didn't she make up for her mistakes? And then she heard Doug's voice, how he begged her to stay with them, how he told her that he loved her and that she should open her eyes. She heard her daughters. They were fine, but she heard them crying. They missed their mommy. And she missed them too. And then she remembered how hard she tried to open her eyes. How hard she tried to give Doug that sign.

"What's going on with mommy?" Tess asked silently. "She now remembers everything", Doug answered and looked at his daughter with a weak smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** My dear readers! I'm so very thankful for your comments (Suki, aflower1325, AliceJM...) and am glad that you like this story so much 3 I don't know how many chapters the story will have, but I'm sure it will be some more :D hope you stuck with me! Thanks again! x Sandy

* * *

**More than Words**

Continues right after "Counting on a Miracle"

"_What's going on with mommy?" Tess asked silently. "She now remembers everything", Doug answered and looked at his daughter with a weak smile. _

Doug left her standing there for another several minutes until Carol finally turned around and hugged him tightly. She cried like she never cried before and she was shaking. "It's okay…let it out. It's going to be okay", Doug whispered and stroke over her back. Carol finally relaxed a little bit. "Let's just go home, okay?" Doug suggested and Carol nodded without saying anything.

On the way back home she just looked out of the window, looking at nowhere. Doug searched for her hand, knowing that this was a shock for her. And yes, Carol was shocked, but she was so glad that Doug did this for her. She was so glad that she finally remembered every little Detail of the accident and what happened afterwards. She was so glad that David was right there to call the ambulance and she was so glad that Mark immediately saw that she had a traumatic brain injury. But the most important thing for her was that her kids were okay. God, she didn't know what she would have done if anything happened to them. She knew kids from work that survived car accidents and didn't have that much luck afterwards but Tess and Kate were okay and that was the most important thing. Carol was very thankful for everything. Then she looked at Doug and realized that she was the luckiest woman on earth. Since she was 23 years old she was in love with this man and she knew that no other could win her heart. He was her missing piece; he was the one who was able to heal her broken heart; he was the only one who could make her happy. Slowly she started to realize that she would never get those four years back but that there were a lot of years ahead that she could spend with him. Happy years. Doug gave up so much for her. How could she ever give that back to him?

"Are you okay?" he asked, as he noticed that she looked at him. Carol smiled and nodded. "I am. Thank you for your help, Doug", she answered and now Doug smiled at her too. "I just want you to feel better", he answered and focused on the street again. "And I think I do. Which doesn't mean that everything is over now…I guess", Carol said and Doug nodded. "We have time", he smiled and Carol nodded. They had all the time in the world now.

* * *

"Do you think your mom wants to have the kids tonight?" Doug asked as they arrived at home and he was opening the front door to Carol's house. "I don't know, why?" Carol asked as she followed her kids inside. "Because I want to go out with you tonight", he answered and put his hands around her waist. "Really...you're asking me for a date?" she grinned. Doug nodded. "I do. It's kinda our…third first date, right?" he chuckled. Carol laughed and kissed him. "Remember, we never really had a real date", she then smiled. "Oh…you're right. So?" he asked. "Okay. But you have to ask her", Carol answered and went to the living room. "You wanna spend the night at grandma?" Carol asked the twins who were sitting on the couch and reading through a book. Tess looked up, not all too happy. "Okay. Kate, what about you?" Carol asked her other daughter. She made the same face as Tess. "Alright. Doug, we have a problem", Carol chuckled and went back to the kitchen. "What? Last time they didn't even want to go home", he said. "Yeah, well, they have their moments", Carol laughed. "So no date", Doug murmured and put his hands on her waist. "Well, I can cook at home", Carol answered and turned around when her phone rang.

"Hello!" she answered as she saw that Elizabeth was calling. "Hey Carol! I know you're busy with Doug and everything but your friends want to know how things are going", Elizabeth chuckled. Carol smiled. "Well, I'm sorry that I didn't call the last few days…it's been nerve-wracking. I was at my psychologist, I have physical therapy, I have two four year old girls who want to rule the world and I have Doug to deal with", Carol laughed and Doug looked at her with big eyes. Elizabeth laughed again. "Well, not such a big deal, is it? I think we should meet again so we can have a girl talk again", she said. "That's a good idea", Carol answered smiling. "Actually…Elizabeth, can you do me a favor?" Carol now asked as she had an idea. "Sure, what is it?" Elizabeth asked. "We want to go out today but the girls don't want to stay with my mom", Carol said. "Oh, bring them over. I'm sure Ella is happy to see them again", her best friend answered. "Really? It's really no problem for you?" Carol asked. "Not at all! I mean, four years…you deserve to have a date!" Elizabeth laughed. "Thank you", Carol answered with relief and they hung up.

"We have a date?" Doug asked smiling. "We have a date!" Carol answered and kissed him.

* * *

While Doug drove to the Greene's with the girls, Carol got ready for their date. She was nervous and felt like a teenager in her prom night. Only Doug was able to give her those feelings. And wow, she couldn't wait to have a romantic, funny evening with him. Four years long she longed for him; she waited for him and now she finally was there where she wanted to be. She would never let him go again. They belonged together and she could only be happy with him. She smiled then when she looked into the mirror in the bathroom. Of course she still needed to gain some weight and the circles under her eyes were still there, but slowly she became the old one again.

"Carol? I'm home!" she then heard Doug and went out of the bathroom. "Coming!" she called back, got her purse and headed to the stairs. Doug's jaw dropped as Carol made her way downstairs. She was wearing a short black dress, black high heels and her curls hang around her shoulders. Beautiful wasn't even the right word to describe her. Doug was speechless. No wonder they never made it out of the house when they wanted to go on a date. "Wow", he whispered as she put her hands around his neck and leaned in for a passionate kiss. "Is it okay?" Carol asked and now turned around in front of him. "Okay? Carol, I think I can't go out with you!" Doug chuckled. "You don't like it?" she then asked and smiled, knowing that he liked it. "You're so beautiful, Care. So beautiful", he said and stroke over her arms. "I'm afraid the other men could think the same…so…we need to stay at home", he smiled. "Oh Doug", Carol laughed and kissed him again. "I don't care about the other men", she then whispered into his ear and Doug smiled. "I love you", he answered and took her hand in his, finally ready to leave for that date.

* * *

The candlelight reflected in her eyes and her smile reached his heart. Doug didn't notice anything around him; only she in front of him was all he needed to see. They didn't need words to say "I love you" to each other. They felt it. It was more than just words. "Oh, you need to taste that one", she said and fed him with her fork. "Delicious", Doug answered and smiled. He couldn't wait to go home with her again, to have her for him alone. Of course he noticed all the looks of the guys in this room. Carol was more than beautiful and yes, he was kinda jealous. And of course Carol noticed that. Oh this was so good for her self esteem. How he looked at her. She could feel the love they had for each other. There was no need to be jealous. She only wanted him; she only wanted to be with him and with nobody else in the world. "Doug", she then said and he nodded. "I…I never asked you…if you're okay with staying here in Chicago. I mean…you have your job in Seattle, the house and…I'd be ready to go with you. I'm serious", Carol smiled and linked her hand with his. Doug stroke over her hand with his thumb and smiled. "I am now where I want to be, Carol. I choose you and not Seattle. I applied for a job at County again and I can sell the house in Seattle", he answered and Carol had to hold back tears. "Doug…I…I don't know what to say…but…why are you doing this for me? I…I hurt you and…I can't ask you to do this for me", Carol stumbled. Doug smiled again and leaned forward to kiss her shortly. "You don't have to ask. It's my choice. We started in Chicago and we should end it here", he smiled again and Carol finally nodded. "I don't know what to say", she answered and looked into his eyes. "Then don't say anything. You want dessert?" he then asked and Carol shook her head. "You're amazing, do you know that?" she chuckled and kissed him again. "Yeah well, I'm trying my best", he answered smiling. "I think I'll have my dessert later…at home", Carol then said and now Doug couldn't wait any minute longer to finally go home.

* * *

"Oh wow…it's so silent here without the kids", Doug murmured as they finally arrived at home and Carol smiled as she took of her coat. "We have to take advantage of this", she answered and took his hand to guide him upstairs. Doug chuckled. "Are you really sure? I mean, will you be okay?" he asked as he stopped behind her and Carol turned around. She went closer to him and put her hands around his neck. She smelled so good, Doug thought and smiled at her. "I think four years are enough time of waiting, right?" Carol answered and kissed him shortly. "And I am okay. I finally am. And I love you and I want to make love with you", she continued and Doug put a curl behind her ear. He looked deep into her eyes and he was lost in there. How often did he think about making love with her, touching her, stroking over her soft skin. Now he wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Now he finally could show her how much he really loved her.

Carol was nervous but also so excited to finally feel Doug again. She remembered their last night together and the pain she felt inside of her but now everything would be different. She smiled then as Doug laid her down on their bed and started to kiss her. How much did she miss that? Her smile faded away as Doug started to undress her and kissed her bare shoulder. "I love you, Care", he murmured and Carol closed her eyes. She wanted to feel him with all her senses. And it felt so good. His hands on her skin, his kisses, his words. She never wanted to miss this feeling again. As she opened her eyes again, she looked directly into Doug's and all she could feel was pure love for this man. She stroke over his cheek and kissed him passionately. She would never ever let him go again.

Doug didn't know what to do. Carol felt like porcelain in his hands. Her skin was so soft and he didn't want to hurt her. He stroked over her arms and noticed the goose bumps on it. God, how much more love could he feel for her? "I love you, Care", he murmured and saw that Carol closed her eyes. ~Are you okay, my love?~ He kissed her neck softly. She smelled so good. ~I'll never hurt you again. ~ She looked like an angel and everything felt like never before. Doug always loved sleeping with her, but this was so new. Slowly he traced his finger over her cheek and she opened her eyes again. And when she kissed him, he knew that everything was okay. He would never ever let her go again.

"Are you crying? Why? Did…did I hurt you?" Doug asked as he saw the tears in her eyes. Carol smiled and kissed him shortly. "No you didn't. I'm just so happy. Thank you", she kissed him again and again and again. Doug smiled in relief. "Do you know how beautiful you are?" he almost whispered and stroke over her cheek again. "Oh Doug", Carol chuckled but stopped then and looked very serious. "What?" Doug asked and sat up a little. "I wanna marry you", she suddenly said. Doug couldn't believe it. "Wow", he answered and Carol laughed. "Please…say yes. I'm proposing here…marry me, Doug", she said and now sat fully up. Doug cupped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately. "Very romantic proposal", he chuckled. "C'mon, it was way better than yours some years ago" she answered and punched him lightly in the arm. Doug chuckled and shook his head before he kissed her again. "The answer is yes", he said and drowned together with her one more time.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:** YAAAYY, here I am again! Again, thank you so, so, so much for reading! I guess some happy chapters are ahead, so I hope you enjoy them too :D If you don't like anything, plese tell me, so I can do it better next time ;)

Love, Sandy

* * *

**Old Times**

Continues right after „More than Words"

When Carol woke up she felt like a new born person. She felt Doug's arms around her and could hear him breathe slowly. There were no words to describe her love for him. "You up?" she suddenly heard him murmur and she turned around in his arm. "I am. Did you sleep well?" she asked and Doug finally opened his eyes. "Better than ever", Doug answered and kissed her shortly. Carol smiled and stroke over his cheek. "How late is it?" he then asked and closed his eyes again as he snuggled closer to Carol. She raised her head and looked at the alarm clock. "Oh my God, it's ten past nine already! We have to get the twins!" she said and wanted to get up from bed but Doug held her back. She giggled then as he started to kiss her. "Doug…stop it now!" she laughed but in reality she didn't even want him to stop because it felt so, so good. So she melted into this kiss and stroke softly over Doug's back. "I thought we have to get the kids", Doug then murmured between the kiss and so Carol stopped. "Damn…yes. C'mon, let's get up", she said and Doug chuckled. Carol didn't change a bit…

* * *

"Hey…sorry we're late", Carol smiled as Elizabeth opened the door. "Really no problem! Come in", Elizabeth said and smiled from one ear to the other. "Thanks again for watching them", Doug said as he went past her. "I hope they were good?" Carol asked and Elizabeth nodded. "Of course they were! You want coffee or anything to drink?" she answered. "Oh no, thank you. We don't want to bother you any longer", Carol said smiling. Doug immediately went outside where he saw Mark. A basketball game with his old friend? Sure, why not, he thought. "Oh c'mon, sit down and tell me everything", Elizabeth almost begged and Carol smiled. She saw the girls playing in the grass outside and sighed. "Alright. Elizabeth…I'm finally happy again", she started and took a deep breath smiling. "I can see that! You look so much better since the accident, how are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked while she started the coffee machine. "A lot better. Physical therapy helps so much…I can feel my muscles again, the bruises are gone and…Doug helped me so much. He's amazing", Carol continued and held her hand up, where she put the engagement ring Doug got her some years ago on the ring finger. "Oh my God, he proposed again?" Elizabeth almost squealed. Carol laughed. "I did", she answered. Elizabeth almost jumped to Carol and hugged her laughing. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" she said and Carol smiled too. "Thank you…we talked a lot…about our future, where we should live, work and stuff like that. I offered to go to Seattle with him", she told Elizabeth. "You're going away?" Elizabeth asked, kinda worried to lose her best friend. Carol shook her head. "No…Doug wants to stay here", Carol said. "Oh boy, you should write a book about your love story", Elizabeth chuckled and Carol shook her head laughing.

"Hey Doug!" Mark called as he saw his friend. "Hey Mark…wanna play?" Doug asked pointing to the ball. "You wanna lose again?" Mark chuckled and Doug shook his head smiling. "You wish, huh? I trained…a lot", Doug answered and heaved the ball into the basket. "Okay, then let's see who's the better one!" Mark chuckled again and they started a match. "Did you get a call from County already?" Mark then asked. "Not yet, why? What's going on?" Doug asked. "Anspough said he wanted to see you", Mark said and Doug stopped. "Really? Oh…now it's getting serious", Doug chuckled. "So…how was your date?" Mark then asked and got the ball from Doug again. Doug smiled. "Amazing. Carol proposed yesterday", Doug answered. "Oh wow, congratulations! You said yes, didn't you", Mark answered and Doug nodded his head. "Of course. Things are finally how they are meant to be", Doug said and smiled again. "Oh c'mon, don't get cheesy", Mark laughed and tried to trick Doug with the ball again. Right in that moment his cell phone started to ring. "Speaking of Dr. Anspough…" Doug chuckled and picked up. "Doug Ross…yes, hello…that's right…sure, no problem! Thanks, bye!" Doug looked back at Mark and smiled. "I have a meeting with him this afternoon", Doug said and Mark patted his shoulder.

* * *

"Daddy, come on let's play Lego", Kate fussed and pulled at his trousers. "Oh no, sweetie, I have to go to the hospital", Doug answered and smiled at his daughter. "But why? I wanna play", she frowned and crossed her arms in front of her. "Kate, stop being mad", Carol said in a harsh voice and Kate almost started to cry. "Why are they so fussy today?" Carol murmured as she fixed Doug's tie. "Didn't you say they have their moments?" Doug chuckled and Carol rolled her eyes. "Yeah…maybe they stayed up too long last night", Carol shrugged her shoulders. "Mommy now you have to pway with me", Kate looked at her with watery eyes. "But baby, mommy needs to cook. Why don't you ask your sister?" Carol answered as she bent down to her daughter. Kate started to cry. "Tess said she likes Ella more", she cried and sat down on the floor. Carol sighed. Doug smiled a little and looked at Carol again. "Good luck…I have to go, see you later", he said and stroke over Kate's hair. "Good luck to you! Later", Carol answered and kissed him shortly. She was more nervous than he was. She so wished that she could work together with him again. "Mommy?" Kate now asked and wiped away the rest of her tears and interrupted Carol's thoughts. "What baby?" she asked and bent down to Kate. "Do you not like me too?" the little girl asked and looked down. Carol sighed and smiled at her daughter then. "I love you baby. I love you so, so, so much. Don't you ever forget that. You'll always be my little sweet strawberry baby bear, okay?" She hugged Kate then and stroke over her back. "Thank you mommy, I love you too", Kate answered and finally smiled again. "Tess? Can you come here please?" Carol now called after her first daughter. Tess came to them running. "Apologize to Kate, please", Carol said and Tess looked at her with questioning eyes. "You said you don't like me", Kate said in a loud voice and shrugged her arms again. "Only because you like to play boy games!" Tess shouted back and shrugged her arms too. Carol closed her eyes. "Come on girls; please don't fight like that okay? Kate doesn't need to like the same things as you do, baby. She's your sister and you should be a team, right?" she tried to explain to her daughters. Tess frowned, not happy about it and Kate snuggled closer to her mother. Carol sighed again. She knew that this was just a normal sister fight and that they were inseparable when anyone of them did something wrong. "Okay. Be good girls…promise me?" Carol said and got up again. "I promise", Kate said in a boring voice. "Me too", Tess answered in the same boring voice. Carol smiled then and stroke over both of their curly heads.

* * *

"Hello Dr. Ross…come in please!" Dr. Anspough said as he opened his office door and found Doug waiting. "Dr. Anspough", Doug said and smiled as he followed his old boss inside the office. "Take a seat please…how are Carol and the twins?" Donald asked. "Fine, they're fine. The kids recovered real quickly and Carol is finally on her way back to normal", Doug answered and smiled again. "Good to hear. So, let's get to your application", Donald said and searched for the documents. "Donald…I…I wanted to apologize for what I did", Doug suddenly said and looked up to Donald. He nodded and smiled a little. "Doug…this happened four years ago. I know you just wanted to help that little boy."

Doug didn't expect that answer. This was…more than unexpected. Why now and not four years ago? "I did. Everybody knew that there wasn't any help for Ricky", was all Doug could answer. Donald sighed and Doug smiled then. "But as you said, this happened four years ago. I'm a different person now. I did a great job in Seattle…I have two beautiful daughters and I want to stay with them here in Chicago. I…" Doug continued but got interrupted. "Doug, we saw your references. You did a really impressive job there. I also talked to Dr. Hollander about you. To be honest, we want you back, Doug. It's just…County doesn't really have the money for your project yet", Donald said. Doug smiled again. "I don't care. I want to stay in Chicago with my family and I need a job", he chuckled. Of course he loved his work in Seattle and yes, he really did a great job there; the station was now running successfully for over three years. "Well, I still have to talk with the committee about everything but we will come back to you", Donald said and Doug nodded. "So, that's it? No more further questions?" Doug asked. Now Donald smiled. "No further questions. Thanks for coming. And tell Carol I said hello", he answered and they shook hands. "Thank you, Donald", Doug answered and got up to leave. "We'll come back to you soon!" Donald said and Doug nodded. With a smile, he left the office. This was a weird meeting. Doug shook his head and with a smile he left the hospital.

* * *

Carol looked out of the window and saw him parking in front of her house and she smiled. Words couldn't describe how much she loved him. Quickly she ran to the door and opened it for him. "Missed me?" he chuckled and leaned forward to give her a little kiss. "Of course I did. How did it go?" she answered and made big eyes as he showed her a beautiful flower bouquet he bought earlier. "Wow, thank you…what are they for?" she asked and smiled. "Because I love you. Not the only surprise for today", Doug chuckled and Carol looked at him with questioning eyes as they walked back in. "Hm…so I guess it went well", Carol mentioned and Doug nodded. "Donald still needs to talk with the committee, but I'm sure we can work together again soon", Doug smiled and Carol laid her hands around his waist. "That's amazing", she almost whispered and stood on her toes to kiss him again. "Where are the girls?" he then asked and looked around. "Come here", she answered and took his hand as she led him to the living room. Tess and Kate were laying on the couch, cuddled up and asleep and looked like little angels. Doug smiled and Carol rested her head on his chest. "They were really knocked out" she murmured and sighed. "Yeah…so many things happened lately so it's no wonder", Doug said. "Need help in the kitchen?" he then asked and Carol turned around. "Nope…finished while you were gone", Carol answered and then went to the kitchen. "Smells perfect! Do you think we should wake the kids then?" Doug asked and Carol turned around after she put the flowers in a vase. "They're beautiful…and yes, they shouldn't sleep now or we have a sleepless night", she said and put the vase on the table. "Alright, let's get ready for a moan concert then!" Doug chuckled and went back to the living room to wake the kids.

Tess and Kate were too tired to complain and were more than happy when Doug brought them back to bed. He told them a story about funny monsters and enjoyed their laughing. "You are so funny, daddy!" Tess said and yawned afterwards. "Am I?" Doug answered and made a goofy face. The twins laughed even more now and Doug then covered them with their blankets. "I love you both so much…sleep well my princesses!" he then said and kissed both of them. "Good night daddy", he heard from Kate who had her eyes closed already. Tess was already asleep. And now it was time for Carol's second surprise.

"Hey, didn't you say you have another surprise?" she smiled as Doug came out of the girls room. She was standing there with a towel around her body and wet hair, more beautiful than ever. "I do", Doug answered shortly and grinned. "Oh come on, you know I don't like surprises", Carol begged. "Of course you do", Doug teased her and Carol rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. Come here and give me your hand", Doug said and Carol's heart started to beat faster. "Doug?" she asked but Doug didn't answer. Instead he got a little box out of his pocket. Carol covered her mouth with her free hand as Doug knelt down in front of her. He just chuckled and got the ring out. "Let's do this right…Carol, I love you. I never stopped loving you and I want to be together with you for the rest of my life. You are my life. I want to ask you if you want to be my wife, my lover, my everything. Please say yes one more time", he put the ring on Carol's finger and looked up to her again. "You're crazy", she said through her happy tears and Doug got up again chuckling. "I already have a ring, you know that", she continued and chuckled too. "The old one is…well, it's old. I wanted to get you a new one. Hope you like it", Doug answered. "Like it? I love it…holy crap, it's beautiful! Doug…you don't have to do this", she said but couldn't take her eyes off of that ring. Doug smiled and laid his hands around Carol waist. "I wanted to do it right this time", he smiled and then Carol kissed him very passionately. "Yes. Yes, a thousand time yes. I love you, Doug. I love you so much!" she finally said and kissed him again a thousand times. "Well, I'm glad you say yes", Doug chuckled and Carol punched him playfully on his arm. "Shut up and make love to me", she said and dragged him to their bedroom.

* * *

_(Awww...isn't he sweet?_)


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** Hey readers! I don't know how often I already said it, but again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS! I'm so glad you like my story and I really hope that it stays this way. This next chapter will show a little progress in Carol's life again :D I know this is only a story, but I'm happy for Doug and Carol *lol* Are you too?

* * *

**All I wanna be**

"How are you feeling Carol?" Dr. Parrish asked and smiled at his patient. "I feel great. I mean…I still feel a little pain when I walk too quickly, but it's okay. I…since I remember everything, I feel a lot better. It helped, a lot", Carol answered and smiled back. "Did you drive again?" Dr. Parrish asked and Carol shook her head. "Not yet. I'm…I was sitting in front of the steering wheel, but couldn't start the car. That's why I'm here again. I need to be able to drive again. I'm just so scared", Carol said. Adam nodded and noted something in his chart. "Tell me why you need to drive", he then said and Carol closed her eyes for a moment. "Grocery shopping…We're now a family of four, we have little daughters who need a lot of stuff. I mean, I could take the El-train, but with all the grocery stuff it isn't fun. The kids don't drive with the school bus yet, so we have to bring them to kindergarten in the morning. We need to take the car when we visit my mother, or Doug's mother. Oh boy, we need the car very often", Carol said and shook her head smiling. "Right. So, tell me why you are afraid of driving a car", Adam said. Carol smiled. "I had an accident. I'm afraid to hurt my girls again. I'm afraid I'll have a crash again…that anything could happen and that we don't survive this time", Carol answered and Adam nodded. "Are your daughters scared while driving the car?" he asked. Carol shook her head again. "No…they never complained." "Do you feel save when Doug is driving the car?" Dr. Parrish asked. Carol thought about it. "Yeah…I think I feel save when he's driving. I always feel save around him", she smiled. "Then you know who could help you. I know you won't be afraid anymore when you try to drive. Just avoid the streets the first time. I'd say you two take the car on a Sunday, drive to the mall and there you can try it on the parking lot. It's okay to be scared, nobody is judging you", Adam answered. Carol sighed. It was always easier to talk about it than actually do it. Well, maybe she just needed to look fear in the eyes. She knew that Doug would help her. "All I wanna be is the old me again", Carol finally said and smiled. "We will get there, I'm sure", Adam answered and smiled too. "Doug and I…we're engaged. Again", Carol now laughed. "Oh wow, congratulations! That's good news! So…you see there was something positive with this accident. Where would you see yourself when this accident didn't happen?" Adam asked and leaned back. Carol thought about it for a moment and shook her head smiling. "Single with two four year old twin girls, working as a nurse at County General and still thinking about Doug and what we could have had", she answered and looked at Dr. Parrish again. "Life's better now, I guess", Adam answered smiling and Carol nodded. "So much better…we want to invite you and your wife to our wedding but we'll come back with an invitation", Carol said and got up from her seat again. "Thank you. And don't be afraid. I can feel that you're still struggling with yourself", Dr. Parrish said as he got up too. "How do you do that?" Carol asked shaking her head again. "I'm a psychologist…I know such things", Adam answered and followed her outside. Well, a pretty good one too, Carol thought and said good bye to Dr. Parrish.

* * *

On the El-train back home she started to think about her life again. Adam was so right about everything. If this accident didn't happen at all, she would still be alone. She wouldn't have this happy feeling in her heart. She wouldn't have the butterflies in her stomach. She wouldn't warm up from the inside when her daughters called after their daddy. Was this accident meant to be? Was it a sign that she needed to be with Doug? Whatever it was, Carol was now happier than ever. There was still that feeling that she dragged him away from Seattle, though. He had a life there, an amazing job and a big house on the lake that she never saw. What if he gave all that up just because of her? She could never give that back to him. Sighting she looked out of the window and thought about that time four years ago, when Doug left. She was so angry and hurt back then that Doug decided for his own good. Now she knew that she was so wrong to think this. Deep inside she knew that Doug was more hurt than ever and what did she do? She just made it worse by not allowing him to come back to see his daughters, by not coming to Seattle to live with him and by telling herself that she didn't need him. How could he still love her after all this?

When she finally arrived in front of her house, she took a deep breath and went inside. "Hey, how's it been?" Doug asked and came out of the living room with a smile on his face. Carol just cupped his head in her hands and kissed him very passionately. Doug chuckled but stopped when he saw Carol's tears then. "Hey…hey, now stop! What's up? What did Dr. Parrish say?" he asked her and took her hands in his. "Oh Doug…nothing bad, we didn't talk about anything bad, but…I started to think", Carol sobbed and buried her head on his chest. "Okay…now stop to cry and tell me what's on your mind…please Carol?!" Doug answered and led her to the couch in the living room. "I…I just don't know how I deserve your love", she said. "Carol…" Doug started, but she stopped him. "I know you love me and I love you, believe me, I love you so much but I hurt you so much. I…I just don't understand how you could forget that and give up everything in Seattle and come here to live with us after I hurt you so much", she said and looked at Doug again. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, he smiled at her. "Alright…again from the beginning. Those four years in Seattle were the most horrible years in my life I guess. I love you and I want to be with you. Please…I don't want to talk about those four years anymore. They happened and we can't get them back but we have so many years ahead of us. I want us to be a family, to live together, to raise our daughters together. We both made a mistake…and now let's do it right, okay?" he tried to convince her and took her hand in his again. Carol wanted to say something, but again it was Doug who talked. "And I don't want to go back to Seattle, if that's what you wanted to ask. It would always remind me of those damn four years I lived there without you. I am where I want to be. With you. I don't want to live without you ever again. I love you so much, Carol. Please accept that. I can't do more than apologize for what I did to you. Don't punish yourself by thinking you didn't deserve my love…you're my soulmate. I love you." Carol wiped away another tear and hugged him again. "I love you too Doug…I'm sorry that I'm so complicated", she said and finally wiped her tears away. "Well that keeps me busy", Doug chuckled and Carol rolled her eyes. "Thank you for being here", she then whispered and kissed him again. "So, what did Dr. Parrish say?" Doug asked now. "That I should drive the car with you by my side…on a Sunday at a shopping mall parking lot", she told him and Doug nodded. "Well, we have a Sunday program then", he answered and smiled.

* * *

"I'm here. Nothing will happen to you. Just relax." Carol heard Doug's voice but not what he said. She just felt like dying any minute. She didn't breathe, she couldn't think straight, and that leather in her hands felt like needles. "I can't", she said quietly. She really couldn't. How would she ever be able to drive a damn car? "Yes you can. I'm here, Carol. Look at me", Doug said and she looked at him. "You can do it. Nothing will happen okay?" he said again but Carol shook her head. "No. I'm sorry. I can't do it", she answered and got out of the car. Doug sighed. "Come on, we didn't even start yet!" he tried to calm her down but Carol was really frustrated. "What's wrong with me Doug? This is a fucking parking lot!" she almost shouted. Doug chuckled. "Exactly, this is a fucking parking lot! So show this fucking parking lot who's the boss okay?" he answered smiling. Carol just buried her head in her hand. "Don't know what I'm afraid of", she murmured as Doug hugged her. "I don't know either. Let's just…just get in there and start the engine. You don't need to drive okay? Just start the engine and we'll see what happens, okay?" Doug suggested but Carol didn't move. "Hey…look at me…do you want to drive again?" he asked. "I do", she answered without looking up. "What? I didn't hear you", Doug said and backed away from her a little. "Oh shut up", Carol answered frustrated and got back into the car. Doug chuckled as he shook his head and took a seat beside her again. "Tess and Kate will learn it faster than you", he teased her and Carol rolled her eyes. "Seriously Doug? You're not much of a help here", Carol answered and looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Just do it. Drive that damn car on this fucking parking lot", he chuckled and Carol closed her eyes as she shook her head again. "Okay. Okay, I'll do it. Nothing will happen. I'll do it", she said but…she did nothing. "Take it slowly. Turn the key around", Doug said in a low voice now. Carol opened her eyes and touched the keys. Her foot on the clutch was shaking. And then…Doug almost couldn't believe it, but she started that car. "Oh God", she said and held the steering wheel tight. "Great…Carol! See, it isn't that difficult! You did it!" Doug said happily. Carol was pale like a ghost. She heard the sound of the engine, she smelled the fuel and she suddenly felt the pain of the accident again. "Slow Carol. I'm here and you're okay. You can stop if you want", he said but she didn't listen to him. Carol was so tired of her fear. She wanted to stop it; she never wanted to be scared again. Slowly, she put in the first gear in and then she closed her eyes, before she took a deep breath. Doug was really proud that she could handle this on her own. "You're driving", he said what felt like minutes later and suddenly Carol started to smile. "I'm driving…I'm really driving!" she said and laughed. "Oh wow. I'm driving", she again said and then parked the car into a parking space. With a big smile on her face she looked at Doug. "Thank you", she said, stroke over his cheek and kissed him. Doug nodded and smiled. "I didn't do anything…wanna try it again?" he asked and Carol nodded. She tried it again and again and again.

"Do you think you're ready for the street?" he then asked and Carol inhaled deeply. "I don't know. Yes, I guess. I mean, I wasn't ready for the parking lot either", she laughed. "Well…not much going on on the streets today and the kindergarten isn't that far away…we could get the twins if you want", Doug suggested and immediately noticed Carol's panic. The kindergarten. The traffic light. The truck. All that came back to her memory again. "Hey…you don't need to drive there. I can drive. It's okay…we can stop for today", Doug mentioned and tried to calm her down again. "Argh…you know what? I'm so sick of being scared. If I don't face the fear, I'll never do it. So…let's go get our babies", she smiled and took a deep breath once again before she started the car again. Doug didn't take his eyes from her. Of course he felt her fear but he just wanted to help her to forget. Carol did great. She was a fighter and Doug was really proud of her for fighting against her fear. The street was almost empty but Carol drove like it was the first driving lesson she ever had. "You're doing great, Care", Doug assured her and she nodded without looking at him at all. She was just focused on the street and she blended out all the noises around her. All the time she thought that nothing could happen to her. And nothing did happen. "So this is the traffic light where the truck hit us…" she murmured when they arrived at this special place in front of the kindergarten. "Yes, here it is and look at you...you drove here", Doug smiled at her. Carol remembered the talk she had with the twins; their complaining about the bad weather and then she looked to her left. No truck was seen at all, but she saw it in front of her, the man, sitting in it and waving at her. They never talked about the driver before. Carol just didn't really think about him. "Did he die?" she suddenly asked. Doug nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. "He was drunk and died here on the streets immediately", he answered and Carol nodded. Too bad, she thought. She just wanted to ask that man what he'd do if it would've been his kids in the car that got hit by a truck. What was running through the man's head when he saw Carol's car standing there? "Carol…" Doug said and interrupted her thoughts. "Hm?" she asked and looked at him. "It's green. Safe to go", he said again and she nodded before she drove again. The apartment was only some more minutes away. When they finally arrived there, Carol smiled. "Yay", Doug chuckled and she hugged him. "Oh God…I wouldn't have been able to do this without you", she said and kissed him shortly. "I'm here to help", Doug answered and put a curl behind her ear.

"Oh my God, I saw it from the window! You did drive the car, Carol?" Helen said as she opened the door to her apartment. Carol smiled. "Hello to you too! Yes mama, I did", she answered and hugged her mother. "Hello Helen", Doug said behind her, smiling too. It was still awkward for him to face Carol's mother after all that happened. "Oh Doug, I'm so glad you are here. You are helping her so much!" Helen said and hugged her future son in law too. Doug was stunned. He didn't expect that from Helen. Carol giggled. "Oh mama, stop crying! Where are my girls?" she asked and looked around. "Mommy, we are eating our lunch!" she then heard Tess calling and Carol nodded. "Are you hungry too? I have so much left. Be my guests", Helen said and went to the kitchen. Carol went to Doug and hugged him. "I can't believe I really drove that car", she murmured into his neck. Doug inhaled the scent of her hair. "You did great. How are you feeling now?" Doug asked without letting her go. "Amazing. Still a lot of adrenaline in my blood, but I'm okay", Carol answered and finally smiled at him. "Oh, believe me, still a lot of adrenaline in my blood too", Doug chuckled and kissed her. Helen watched them and coughed slightly and so Carol and Doug turned to her. "Come eating or it will get cold. The girls are almost ready." She said. "Okay, thanks mama", Carol answered and smiled from one ear to the other.

After lunch Doug played with the kids in the living room and Carol helped her mother in the kitchen. "Carol, you are finally getting better, right?" Helen asked and Carol nodded. "Yes mama. I'm feeling great. I think I wanna go back to work soon", she answered while she dried a plate. "Why? Stay at home a little bit longer; enjoy your time with Douglas and the girls…look how much they love him", Helen said and pointed in Doug's direction. Not only the girls loved him that much. "Oh, if you stare at him a little bit longer, the plates will dry by themselves", Helen mentioned and Carol shook her head smiling. "I'm so happy, mama", she said and tried hard to hold back happy tears. "See, I always told you to be with him. But no, you have to be stubborn…now see what you missed those four years!" Helen whispered and then turned around to go get the rest of the dishes from the table. Carol laughed and rolled her eyes, but yes, her mother was so right. But as Doug said, she needed to leave those four years behind and start new. As she watched Doug with the girls, she knew that she finally was ready. She was, who she wanted to be again.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:** Hey all! In this chapter I want to make a big shoutout to **AliceJM** and **goodwifefan** and thanks for your suggestion. To be honest, I thought about the Seattle thing too. I really want Carol and the kids to go there, so I'm picking this up in this chapter. Excited to get to know how Doug lived in Seattle? Here we go! Be prepared for a cliffhanger, though :D

* * *

**Emerald vs. Windy**

Doug's cell phone was ringing and he sighted. Why now? He was cuddling against Carol and it felt so cosy under the blanket. Nevertheless he turned around to pick the phone up. "Hello…this is Doug Ross", he said in a sleepy voice and rubbed his eyes. "Oh my God, Dr. Ross, did I wake you up? That's the damn time difference, I'm so sorry…" he heard on the other end. Somehow he had to smile. "Hey Steph…calm down, it's okay. What's up?" he asked his old secretary. "Well, we miss you", Stephanie said. Doug sighed. "Don't lie to me", he chuckled and got up from bed to not wake up Carol. "It's the truth! No, to be honest…the estate agency called. They have a possible buyer for your house. You should come and get the rest of your stuff", Stephanie said. Doug nodded without saying anything. "Dr. Ross…are you really selling that castle?" Stephanie asked. Doug thought about it for a moment. He loved the house. He loved the lake. It would've been a great place for the kids to grow up but he loved Chicago too. Here he fell in love with Carol; here he had so many great moments with her. The girls were born here. "Are you still there?" Stephanie interrupted his thoughts. "I am. And yes…that's the plan. I'm sorry to disappoint you", Doug sighed. "Ah no…it's okay. You're just following your heart. Well, I hope to see you soon", Stephanie answered. "Thanks for calling, Steph. See you soon", Doug said and hung up again.

As he rubbed his eyes again, he felt Carol's arms around him. "Hey…did I wake you?" he asked as Carol snuggled closer to him. "I heard you getting up…who called?" she asked. "That was Stephanie, my secretary in Seattle", Doug smiled as he thought about the unafraid young woman. "And?" Carol again asked. "I have to go back to Seattle. The real estate agency needs me to clear the house. I still have a lot of stuff up there", Doug told her. Carol nodded and took a seat beside him. "I want to come with you", she said and took his hand. Doug smiled at her. "I often asked myself how you lived up there. I wanna get to know that place and the kids should too", she continued and noticed that Doug was thinking about something. "What's up, Doug?" she then asked and rubbed over the back of his hand with her thumb. Doug looked down and chuckled. "It's kinda weird. I mean…I bought this house all those years ago and did so much work for it. It feels weird that now another family will live there", he said. "Oh Doug…my offer is still up. I'd go with you without thinking. It's up to you", Carol said and now cupped his head in her hands. Doug kissed her shortly. "I know. Let's…let's just see what we have to do up there okay?" he suggested and Carol nodded. "Okay", she answered but knew that this topic wasn't over yet.

They went back to bed for another hour before they heard Tess. She was going to the toilet and singing a song they learned in kindergarten. Carol stirred and opened her eyes. "We don't even need an alarm clock", she said and yawned. "Cell phones, singing girls", Doug chuckled and got up too.

* * *

Two days later they were waiting for their suitcases at the Sea-Tac Airport. "How can we go swimming here? It's raining!" Kate complained as she looked out of the big window. "Yeah well honey, you should write a letter to the weatherman", Carol chuckled. God, she felt good this day. Maybe it was because she finally would get to see how and where Doug lived. Maybe it was because she just had a good day. Her daughters didn't have such a good mood. Tess was sitting on the big suitcase and almost asleep and Kate was complaining about everything. Then Carol looked at Doug. He was silent. "Why don't you go get a rental car while I wait here?" she asked him and stroke over his cheek. "Good idea. Kate is kissing the window", he smiled and Carol turned around to her daughter. "Katherine Ross, stop that now and come here", Carol shouted and Kate jumped. She turned around with an angry face and went back to her mother and sister. "I wanna go back to home", she murmured and took a seat beside Tess. Carol sighed. Somehow it felt like home here, too.

* * *

The kids were sleeping silently in their car seats as Doug drove through the streets of rainy Seattle. The music was playing quietly in the radio and Carol looked out of the window. She soaked in every inch of the view she got, just so she could imagine that Doug lived here almost five years. It was a beautiful city. Doug's heart was beating too fast. He shouldn't be that nervous, he thought but somehow he just was. This was his home city for so long and no matter how long he had been away, he knew every street, every place and every spot from this city. "It's beautiful here", Carol said and interrupted his thoughts. "Wait until you see the house", he smiled and Carol smiled back at him.

She didn't know what to say. This was so unreal. Doug often sent a picture of the house but now she saw it in real. Words couldn't even describe her feelings right now. This was the place where Doug lived, all on his own. Without saying a word she took Doug's hand and turned to face him. "I can't believe I missed out on this", she said and waved her hand to the house. "You like it?" Doug asked and Carol made big eyes. "Like? I love it! It's…wow! I mean…you're gone almost three months and it still looks so beautiful!" Carol said. "I asked Avery from the neighbours to look after it", Doug explained and Carol nodded. That was exactly what bothered her. He lived here and had contact to persons she didn't even know. She missed so many things in Doug's life. "Can we go inside? I'm wet already!" Kate complained under her umbrella and Doug nodded. "You'll get to know her…believe me, she'll be here immediately", he said to Carol and she nodded too.

"Mommy look, daddy has a lot of pictures of us", Tess said as she came back running from the giant living room. Carol couldn't say a word. This wasn't a house. This was a palace. "My God Doug", she murmured and turned around in a circle to overlook everything. "What is it with women and houses?" Doug chuckled and turned on the lights. "Come, I'll show you around", Doug said and Carol as well as the girls followed him. He showed them the living room with the big window, which gave a view to the lake. He showed them the kitchen and the bathroom. There also was an extra room, which could be a play room for the kids. Then they went upstairs. Doug had a big bedroom with a big bed and a walk-in closet. Another bathroom was connected with this room. Big windows let in a lot of light. It was beautiful. Two more bedrooms were upstairs and in the corner was a nice winter garden which showed a view to the lake too. Carol couldn't believe that Doug lived here all on his own. This was such a beautiful place. He had a big garden, a boat on the dock and two garages. The house was so lovely arranged. Everywhere were pictures of Carol and the twins. It broke Carol's heart to know that Doug was all alone here. "I can't believe you had all this for you alone", she murmured and hugged Doug immediately. He sighed. "Well…somehow I always thought you and the girls would come to live with me", he answered and Carol nodded. "That's why you bought that big house", she said and Doug nodded. Suddenly Tess and Kate came running. "Can we stay here? Daddy has enough rooms!" Kate asked excited and Carol smiled at her daughter. "We'll stay here the next few days honey", she answered and the twins ran back to one of the bedrooms satisfied.

"Doug? Are you here?" they suddenly heard from downstairs and Doug started to smile. "Avery" he whispered to Carol and went to the stairs. "Good afternoon Mrs. Lawrence", he chuckled and went downstairs to hug his neighbour. Carol watched them and felt her heart starting to bleed. Avery was a beauty. Long blonde hair, dark eyes, thin. "So good to see you…we missed you!" Avery said and smiled at Doug with shiny white teeth. "Good to see you too! How's everything going?" Doug asked and then noticed Carol who came back down. "Avery, this is my fiancée Carol Hathaway, Carol…this is Avery Lawrence", he introduced them. Carol smiled and shook Avery's hand. "Nice to meet you", she said but she was so unsure on the inside. "Oh my God, look at you; it's so good to see you alive! Doug told us about the accident and we were so worried!" Avery said excited and hugged Carol fiercely. Carol made big eyes and chuckled. "Doug! You didn't lie about her beauty…lucky guy, you!" Avery then chuckled and punched Doug's arm lightly. Carol didn't know what to say. It felt weird. "Mommy I'm hungry!" Kate called from upstairs and Avery looked up. "Are your girls here? Oh my God! I wanna meet them!" she squealed excited and clapped in her hands. "Girls, come down, we have a guest", Doug called after them and only seconds later Tess and Kate appeared. "Awwwwww! Hey girls! I'm Avery; it's so nice to finally meet you!" Avery again squealed and stroke over the girls' heads. Tess and Kate looked with big eyes at her. "I'm so happy for you", Avery said and hugged Doug again. "C'mon girls, let's see if we can order a pizza or something", Carol said and took the girls' hands to walk to the kitchen. Doug noticed that she wasn't comfortable at all. "Oh, your fridge is full with stuff and I wanted to let you know that the agency was here two days ago. Seems that they have a buyer for your castle", Avery then said sadly. "Oh…now don't make such a face…I'm not moving to the moon", Doug said and smiled at her. "Right…right. Well, I gotta go. Little Casey is hungry too. Have a nice dayyy!" she sang and waved good bye.

* * *

The girls enjoyed a bath in the big bath tube and then snuggled into the beds that were standing in the smaller bedroom. Doug and Carol kissed them good night and wished them a good Seattle sleep.

Some minutes later they enjoyed a bubble bath for themselves. Carol was lying in Doug's arms and played with some foam. "I met her at the hospital…well, I delivered her baby", Doug told her. "She has a baby?" Carol asked and Doug nodded. "Casey. He's not a baby anymore now…he's five now and the first kid for Avery and Jason. Well…when she was coming to the hospital, I was looking for a house to stay. Avery told me about this one", he continued and stroke over Carol's arm. "She seems really nice", Carol answered. "Yeah…but you were not comfortable with her being here, right?" Doug asked and smiled. Carol turned around to face him. "To be honest, I was jealous. I mean…she's a supermodel!" she answered. Doug nodded sighting. "No need to be jealous. I dated other women, but not her. And none of them was you. I love you and only you", he smiled and kissed her shortly. "It breaks my heart that I don't know anything about this place here…about your life here", Carol almost whispered and looked down. "Hey…you got my letters, didn't you? And my e-mails and my phone calls…you were here with me all the time", Doug assured her and smiled again. "Also, you didn't come here to be in a funk, right? I have some other plans with you", he started to kiss her passionately and Carol chuckled. "Yeah…I like that", she said between the kiss and disappeared with him in the Seattle night.

* * *

Doug lay awake and watched a peaceful sleeping Carol. He loved her so much and right now this situation felt so right. That's what he wanted for so many years. Carol was here and his girls were sleeping in the other room. This house was his for such a long time and right now he couldn't believe that it would be sold soon. Carol offered to move here. She really would do this for him. But he quit his job, he sold his car and the house had a buyer too. God, he really didn't know what to do. He chose Chicago, but wasn't ready to say good bye to Seattle either…


	13. Chapter 13

**AN**: Hey again! I wrote this next chapter pretty quickly because this was in my head and I wanted to get it out. Wow, I never thought you'd like my story so much. Thank you so much. Now this chapter is ending with a bummer too. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Untold Stories**

Continues the next day.

When Carol woke up, the sun was shining brightly through the big window but the bed felt so empty. Doug wasn't sleeping anymore. Carol felt like newborn. What a comfortable bed Doug had there. She got up and looked into the other bedroom where the twins were sleeping. Their beds were empty too. As Carol looked at the watch hanging there, she knew why – it was almost lunch time. She went downstairs and got herself a cup of coffee. Somehow she felt like she had been living here all of the time but then again everything felt so new. Suddenly she heard a lot of girlish laughter. She took her cup and went to the living room. Through the window she could see Doug and the twins swimming and playing in the lake. Smiling she went outside the veranda door to watch them. Her heart warmed up as she saw them. Tess and Kate had so much fun and Doug was so goofy. "Good morning sunshine! Did you sleep well?" he asked her as she went on the deck. "Hey guys! Yes I did. Your bed is wonderful…why didn't you wake me?" she asked and took a seat on the deck, her feet touched the water. "Oh, you were sleeping so peaceful, I just couldn't ruin that", Doug answered and suddenly felt tiny hands around his neck. "Help! A shark is killing me", he shouted and acted like he couldn't swim at all. Kate behind him laughed so open-hearted and Tess swam to Doug. "Daddy…I'll help you!" she called. Carol shook her head and giggled. "Mommy this is so much fun!" Kate called and she nodded smiling. Her first thought was that the girls could learn how to swim here. Why did she have such thoughts all the time? They were just here to get some stuff from Doug and to sell that beautiful palace. She shouldn't enjoy this place so much. When she came back to her senses, everything was silent around her. Where were Doug and the girls? When she turned around, she got a bunch of water into her face. Tess and Kate laughed and Doug chuckled. "Oooh, now you wait you little bastards!" Carol laughed and jumped into the water, not minding that she still only wore boxers and a t-shirt. The girls squealed and tried to swim away but Carol splashed them with water too. "Daddy, help us!" they called. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" he called back and held Carol from behind. "Oh, you're so unfair! I'm a poor mommy!" Carol whined and tried to escape but Doug stopped her with a kiss. Tess and Kate made faces but Carol melted in Doug's arms. This was like heaven. All this.

* * *

"Steph…hey!" Doug said as he picked up his ringing phone. "Dr. Ross! Are you in Seattle already?" Stephanie asked. "I am…don't worry, I'll come by soon!" he chuckled and looked at Carol. "Oh, please come now. The agency sent the contract here…and you know I have a lot of work to do, right?" Stephanie said. Doug sighed. "Okay…I'll come as soon as possible. And you're right…I'm sorry to distract you so much", he apologized. "Well, at least I won't get bored before you disappear forever", Stephanie now chuckled but then sighed. "Ha-ha. Well, see you later, Steph!" Doug answered and hung up. He turned to Carol again, who was enjoying the sun. "I have to go to the hospital. The estate agency sent the selling contract and Steph is pissed because it's not really her business", he smiled. "It's okay. As you see, we're having fun here", Carol smiled back. "You don't want to come?" Doug asked as he got up. "Ah…no, not today. I don't want to ruin the kid's fun", Carol answered and Doug nodded. He bent down to her again to kiss her. "Okay. See you later then", he answered and went inside the house. Carol wanted to visit the hospital Doug worked in, but the twins played so peaceful in the grass. She'd feel like a monster if she would ruin that.

And only some minutes later Carol noticed a little boy who was perking around the corner. Was this Casey? Carol smiled at him, but then he disappeared again. Seconds later, she saw him again. "Hello!" she called and waved at the boy who then came closer. "Hi", he said and smiled. Tess and Kate looked up from their play. "Are you Casey, by the way?" Carol asked. "Yes, that's my name. Nice to meet you", the boy answered politely and Carol smiled again. "I'm Carol, this is Tess and this is Kate", she answered and Casey waved at the twins. "Do you want to play with us?" Kate immediately asked and Casey nodded. He was a nice boy. Tess and Kate could be friends with him. Oh no. Again such thoughts. What was wrong with her? Was it wrong? She didn't know what to think anymore.

"Casey? Are you here? I told you not to go away again!" she suddenly heard Avery coming around the corner. "Hey Avery", Carol smiled. "Oh Carol…I'm sorry. I was working in the garden and he suddenly disappeared", Avery apologized. "It's no problem…I think he found new friends!" Carol answered and Avery nodded. "Hey, do you want a coffee or ice tea?" Carol then asked. "Hm…yeah, why not. Ice tea would be great. It's so hot today", Avery answered and wiped away sweat on her forehead. "Yeah, kinda weird after yesterday's rain", Carol said and handed her a glass of ice cold ice tea. Avery chuckled. "Welcome to Seattle", she said and took a sip. "Casey is really a nice boy. Doug told me that he delivered him", Carol said and Avery nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad he was there. I wanted to kill my husband for getting me pregnant but Doug stopped me, thank God", Avery laughed and made Carol laugh too. "Sorry for yesterday. I…it's hard for me, not to know how he lived all those years here…and then you appeared and Doug was all happy to see you and it just…it broke my heart", Carol said without looking at her. Avery sighed. "It's okay. I assumed you weren't comfortable with me being there. It's just…Doug helped us a lot. He's a real good friend. I owe him so much", Avery said and now Carol looked at her again. "He's not talking a lot about his life here. Maybe you can fill me in", she smiled. Avery got herself in a comfortable position. "Do you have time?" she asked smiling and Carol nodded. She really wanted to know everything.

"Alright. Where do I start…I got to know him when I was about eight months pregnant. Somehow they found out that my baby was too small and something wasn't right, so they asked Doug for help. First I thought, wow, I don't need a depressed doctor because I'll get depressed too and I'm scared and I just need help. But Doug, he was so passionate with his work. He didn't talk a lot but he knew what to do. He literally saved my baby's life. And one day I overheard a talk he had on the phone. He was looking for a house and well, my neighbors went away at that time and I told Doug about the house. A month later he moved in. At first we didn't see him around. It was like he hided himself in the house." Avery made a pause and took a sip of the ice tea again. Carol felt her heart aching. Then Avery chuckled. "Jason thought he was a psycho. Seriously, Doug really wasn't in the best mood when he moved here. I mean, he had the house, but we only saw him from time to time in the hospital. He was really thin, had dark circles under his eyes, he didn't shave and he didn't talk. And one day I said to my husband that we have to do something. Something is going on with that guy and maybe he needs some help. So we knocked on his door and brought him Muffins or something like that. When he let us in, I kinda was shocked. He was drunk. And there were this pictures of a woman and ultrasound pics and I immediately thought that he lost his wife and his babies…that they died or something. I mean…you should've seen him. We were in that house but he went upstairs in that room and wow. He was decorating a bedroom for the two little baby girls. Two cribs, a changing table, soft toys, little ponies on the wall. He was standing there and saying 'why do I do this? They won't come anyway…stupid, right?' and then we went downstairs again and he started to tell us everything about you", Avery continued. Carol sighed. "He waited for us to come…" she murmured and Avery nodded. "I had no idea how much a man could love a woman. He had this glitter in his eyes when he talked about you. Well, I gave birth to Casey and we were all happy that he was a healthy baby but Doug got more and more depressed I think. I mean, I understood him. I had a baby with my husband and yay, everything was wonderful but he still waited for his twins", Avery told her. "Wow…I must've made a good impression", Carol sighed again. "Well, I thought that he was kinda stupid too. I asked him what he's still doing here. That he should go back to Chicago to be with you but Doug always said no. He hurt you too much and he respected your wish. He said he would think about it when the twins were born. But he didn't go back to Chicago. Your kids were born, he stood up more and more pictures of the twins, he drank, and after one year or so he started to throw out that cribs and stuff in the kids' bedroom. That was the time when I told him to move on. That he should go back to Chicago and visit his children or bring this story to a close and start new. I think I really shouted at him. He was so stubborn, really. But after some months I noticed that he didn't drink anymore. He started to play basketball with my husband. He laughed again. He played with Casey. Doug was a different man. I asked him then what was going on. I thought he found a new girlfriend or something but he said that he moved on. I, to be honest, couldn't understand this. I mean, he had two little girls and I knew that he was still in love with you and I just didn't understand that he didn't want to visit you." Avery took a deep breath and Carol felt the tears in her eyes. "Oh Carol, please don't cry. I know that this wasn't easy for any of you", Avery reached out for Carol's hand and stroke over it. "I hurt him so much", Carol sobbed and shook her head. "I mean, I asked him not to come but it really hurt that he didn't come", she continued. Avery nodded and sighed. "Why didn't you come then?" she asked. "Oh…because I was stupid. Stubborn, selfish…hurt", Carol shrugged. Aver smiled. "Yeah, sometimes people do stupid things, right?" she answered and Carol nodded slowly. "Well, Doug started to date other women", Avery then said. "Yeah, he told me about that", Carol said and rolled her eyes a little. "Don't worry…he never brought them home. We never saw a woman here in the house. And I knew why. Because he wanted you to be the first to see the house. Seriously, four years and he couldn't forget you. Well, he was gone a lot because of his job. He got promoted and had to fly around the US for conventions and stuff like that, no idea what happened there; I only knew that he married his job. He opened so many kids ERs and he wrote that book with his colleague and yeah, my husband and I were proud of him. And then he called from Chicago and told us about your accident", Avery finished and Carol nodded. "I think that fate brought you together again. I'm sorry you had that accident, but it was good for you both. I'm kinda glad you two found back together. You do him good", Avery smiled. Carol took a deep breath. "Thank you for telling me everything. Thank you for being there for him", she then said and smiled. "Oh, don't thank me. But now let's talk about happier things", Avery laughed and Carol nodded. "Want another ice tea?" Carol asked as she saw that Avery was empty. "Sure, why not…oh no, how late is it? Damn…Casey, c'mon, we need to get to your soccer training!" Avery called after her son. "Bye Tess, bye Kate", Casey said and went to his mom. "Bye Casey!" the twins said and waved to him. "I hope we can get together another time before you fly back to Chicago", Avery said as she got up from her seat and Carol nodded. "Thanks again, Avery", Carol smiled and Avery nodded.

* * *

Later Carol and the girls watched TV because it started to rain again. "So, you had fun today with Casey?" Carol asked. "Yes, he is really nice", Kate said and smiled at her mother. "And swimming was fun too. Can we go swimming tomorrow again?" Tess asked and Carol stroke over her head. "If it stops raining it's no problem I guess", she answered and leaned back on the couch. "Do you like it here?" she asked again. "Yes mommy. Why can't our house be on the lake?" Kate asked back. Carol smiled. "Because our house is somewhere else…would you like to live here in Seattle?" Carol then asked and the twins both shrugged. "Yeah well, exactly my thoughts", she murmured and gave the TV more attention again.

"Hey girls", they suddenly heard Doug and the twins ran to him. "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" they called and Carol smiled as she got up too. "We played with Casey today", Tess told him and he made big eyes. "Oh really, and was Carey here too?" Doug asked. "Only Casey. Who's Carey?" Kate asked. "His older brother", Doug answered and stroke over Kate's head. "Avery didn't tell anything about a second child", Carol smiled as she went to Doug and kissed him. "Oh, so you talked…" he answered and nodded. "We did. How was it in the hospital?" Carol answered, not wanting to take up that matter again. "Good. Sorry it took me so long. Stephanie didn't stop to tell news and I met my old colleague and well…yeah", Doug answered and sighed. "What about the contract?" Carol asked as they went back to the living room. "I have to read it through. Seems to be a young family with one child who wants to buy the house", Doug answered and Carol turned around to him again. She laid her hands around his waist and looked directly in his eyes. "Well, maybe we should forget that contract…" she whispered and laid her head on his chest.

* * *

**AN**: WHAT? Carol now wants to stay in Seattle. Good or bad? Should they really stay in Seattle, or should they go back to Chicago? Please tell me your thoughts! :)


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **My dear readers! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates here. I've been snowboarding for a few days and then had a busy time at work, but here it is, the next chapter of my story. I hope you didn't forget me, because I didn't forget you. Love, Sandy

(Title means Lovers are lunatic)

* * *

**Amantes Amentes**

Continues right after „Untold Stories"

Doug stood there and didn't really realize what Carol just said. Well, he heard her. They should forget the contract. What, she didn't want him to sell the house? But what should they do with two houses, one in Chicago, one in Seattle? "Carol?" he then asked slowly and as slowly she looked back up at him. "You don't want me to sell it?" he asked silently and she nodded. "Why?" he asked shaking his head. Carol separated from him. "This place here…this house…I know what you went through, Doug. I heard the story and I felt the pain you felt. And I feel home here. I don't know why, but I feel like this is the place where we belong. Maybe I'm wrong, but…let me give something back to you. You came to Chicago to be there for our kids. You gave up so much to be with us, to live with us. And now I want to give up my life there, for you", Carol said and smiled again. Doug shook his head without any expression on his face. "Think about it. We…we don't have to do it, if you really don't want to. I just can't imagine going back to my house and giving up…this palace", she chuckled as she throw her hands up. "It feels right", she then whispered again and looked back into Doug's eyes. "Could we go swimming every day then?" Kate interrupted the conversation as she tugged on Carol's shorts. "Only in summer, baby", Carol answered smiling. Kate made big eyes. "And in winter we could go up to Vancouver to ski", Doug said and Carol looked at him again. "See, another pro for that list", she said and Doug shook his head chuckling. "Holy Spirit rain like Seattle…overtake my life like a flood…" Carol started to sing as she went to the kitchen to get something to drink. "Your mama is crazy", Doug whispered to his girls and followed her. Tess and Kate giggled, not exactly knowing what was going on.

* * *

Carol was standing in front of the bathroom mirror. Her curls were a mess, so she tied them together to a ponytail. She was ready to brush her teeth when Doug hugged her from behind and started to kiss her neck. She jumped a little but chuckled then. "Why do you have to scare me all the time?" she laughed and turned around to hug him. "You look sexy", he murmured and kissed her. Carol moaned. "Do I? Boxers and a tee?" she laughed. "You look sexy in everything, but without it it's better", Doug chuckled and nibbled on her ear. "Doug?" Carol asked now seriously. "Hm?" he asked and looked at her. "Did you think about it yet?" she asked. Doug chuckled. "It's been what…two hours since we talked about it? No, I didn't think about. All I was doing was bathing the kids and bring them to bed", he answered and put a curl behind her ear. "So, what did Avery tell you?" Doug asked. Carol thought about it for a moment but then shrugged her shoulder. "Later", she said and turned around to brush her teeth again. Doug chuckled, shook his head and left the bathroom. "What…wait! Don't you dare go away now!" Carol called after him and he perked his head in again. "What?" he asked. "Well…first you make me all giddy and now you're walking away?" she asked with her mouth full of toothpaste foam. "Later", he chuckled and disappeared again. Carol giggled and rolled her eyes. Everything felt so wonderful…so right.

* * *

She knew that he wanted to go to Chicago for her. But she also felt that he loved Seattle. This was his house; he did so much work here. Carol remembered the words from Avery. He was so desperate, so long waiting for her to come to Seattle. He even furnished a baby room for the twins, although they weren't with him. He started to drink again and this was all her fault. Now she only could make it up by moving to Seattle with him. To live here, to work here, to have a family here. She didn't even want to go back to Chicago. Of course she had her friends there, but she wouldn't lose them forever. Susan went away all those years ago and they still had contact. She would miss Mark and Elizabeth for sure, but Chicago wasn't out of the world. And as soon as she arrived here in Seattle, she could feel that she belonged here; that they belonged here. Maybe they could have the wedding in Chicago…as an ending for the live in Chicago.

He wanted to do it just for her. To make up for all the mistakes he made. For all the pain she had to go through because of him. When Doug first moved to Seattle, he missed Chicago. He lived there for such a long time. He got to know Carol there. He fell in love with her there and his girls were born there. He buried so many memories in this city but then he also fell in love with Seattle. Although he spent most of his free days drinking and dreaming about Carol, he liked the freedom he had here. He lived outside the city, where he didn't feel any trouble. And this house…it was something special. It was an old couple who lived there and he immediately saw a new challenge in the house. There was a lot to do. He loved it. And now it was his. Then again he remembered how much he loved Carol's house, which became his trough the years, too. It was something special, too. But then again he noticed that Carol fell in love with the house in Seattle, as soon as they arrived here. Maybe it was meant to be. No matter where they would life, Doug was just happy to finally be with Carol.

* * *

Carol smiled and crawled up the bed to Doug. "Hey", he whispered before she kissed him passionately. "Hey", she answered and started to kiss his neck. Doug chuckled. "Wow", he then said and enjoyed her kisses. "You said later, right?" she smiled as she looked into his eyes. Doug nodded. "Totally right." Carol bit her lip. "Carol…what did she tell you?" Doug asked and Carol stopped kissing him and looked at him. She took a deep breath and fell back on the pillow. "Everything, Doug. She told me everything. The room you made for the twins, how drunk you were, how long you waited for us to come", she said and then sat up again. She took Doug's hand and looked at him. "I'm sorry I did this to you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this hell", she whispered and a single tear appeared on her cheek. Doug sat up too and wiped the tear away. "And now you think you have to move here to make up for it?" he asked and Carol shrugged her shoulders. "I…I want to. You waited for us, and now we're here. And I feel that it's right. I feel that we belong here", Carol answered and smiled then. "You don't really want to work at County as an intern, right?" she asked. Doug chuckled and took a deep breath then. "Well…I would do it. I'd need a work in Chicago and we could work together again", he answered and smiled. Carol shook her head. "We could work here together too. You are the boss, you could hire a nurse", she chuckled. "Right. But…you don't have to do this. I know how much you love Chicago. Your mom lives there, the kids go to kindergarten there…you have your friends there…" Doug answered. "Yeah, my friends who always told me to go to Seattle", Carol rolled her eyes. Doug chuckled and kissed her. "We should talk about it tomorrow. You haven't even seen the hospital. Maybe you don't like it", he smiled. "Yeah sure. Tomorrow then", Carol answered and with that the topic was over and another one was up.

* * *

"Girls, get up! We're going to see the city!" Carol called up the stairs to the twins, who were still sleeping. "See? They love their beds. They sleep so long all the time!" she said to Doug who just chuckled. "Yeah, it's the Seattle air", he answered and drank out his coffee. "I love you", Carol said as she put her hands around his neck and kissed him slowly. "I love you", Doug answered and stroke over her cheek. Suddenly they heard someone coughing and Carol turned around. "Oh, hey Avery" she said smiling. "Hey guys…I really didn't want to interrupt you, but the living room door was open", Avery answered. "No problem, what's up?" Doug asked as he put his cup into the dishwasher. "Well…I know you're flying back soon, so Jason I thought we could have a barbecue tonight…we all together, if you have time", Avery said kinda sad. "Like a farewell party?" Doug asked and Carol punched him lightly with her foot. Doug looked at her smiling. "Yeah…kind of", Avery answered nodding. "We'll come. What shall we bring, do you need any help?" Carol asked. "No need to bring anything, we'll manage everything", Avery smiled and Carol nodded. "Alright. See you around…maybe 6 then?" Avery asked again. "Okay…see you later!" Doug said and Avery disappeared again. "You're mean", Carol said to Doug. "Why? You didn't say anything either", he answered and got up to get the twins.

* * *

The kids were really exhausted after sightseeing all day long, but Carol was amazed by the beauty of the Emerald City. "No wonder you decided to move here", she said to Doug and smiled. He nodded slowly and took Carol's hand. "Do you think the kids like it too?" he asked. "Doug, they are four…I think they don't have an opinion about that yet", Carol answered and Doug nodded. "Right. Well, let's go visit the neighbors", Doug said and Carol nodded.

Avery and Jason were already at the barbecue while their boys were playing in the grass. "Hey all", Doug said smiling and they turned around. "Well, I don't talk to you anymore, but hello there, you must be Carol, Tess and Kate", Jason said and Carol shook his hand. "Hey, nice to meet you!" she said smiling. Avery rolled her eyes. "What did I do?" Doug asked standing beside them. "Well…you're gone for several months, come back and don't even say hello? Very rude, Mr." Jason said but couldn't hold back his smile any longer. "Aww…I'm sorry, buddy…I was very busy", Doug answered as they finally hugged. Tess and Kate ran to Casey and Carey to play and Carol handed Avery a bottle of wine. "Oh, thanks! Didn't I tell you that you shouldn't bring anything?" Aver answered and Carol followed her to the table. "It's just a little something to say thank you", Carol answered and Avery nodded. "Carey, come here and say hello", Avery called after her older boy who came running to them. "Hello Mrs. Ross, I'm Carey", he said very politely and shook Carol's hand. She smiled but didn't correct him about the name. "Nice to meet you, Carey. I'm Carol", she answered instead and smiled at the boy again. "Your kids are so nice", she then said to Avery as Carey ran back to the other kids. "Well, you should come and see them when they're fighting…not so nice anymore", Avery laughed and Carol smiled.

"So Mr. Lawrence…any news?" Doug asked as he stood by the grill and took a sip from his beer. "While you were gone? Not really…well, the tree house for Carey and Casey is almost ready. So…did you meet the buyer of your house already?" Jason asked and turned around the steaks. "Not yet. I've only seen the contract so far", Doug answered and Jason nodded. "Chicago, huh?" he asked and Doug shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I wouldn't be so sure about it", Doug answered smiling. "What?" Jason asked again, looking very confused. "We're thinking about staying here", Doug said. "Wow…really? I mean…wow! Haha! Avery, did you hear that?" Jason called after his wife. "Did I hear what?" Avery asked back. "They thinking about staying in Seattle", Jason told her. Avery looked at Carol. "That true? Why didn't you say anything?" she asked stunned. Carol smiled and looked at Doug. "Because Doug isn't sure about it", she said and looked back at Avery. "What? Why? Oh come on, Doug", Avery said and looked at him. Doug chuckled. "Okay, okay. I guess…well…I guess we'll stay in Seattle", he said and Carol got up from her seat. "Really?" she asked and he nodded. "Really. I mean…I love the house too. And my work here. Well…I hope to get it back", he chuckled and Carol suddenly kissed him. "Oh Doug! I'm so happy…I love you. I love you so much", she said near tears and kissed him again. Jason put his hand around Avery's shoulder and they smiled. "Welcome to Seattle then", Avery said and Carol hugged her. Everybody was laughing and hugging and smiling and they almost forgot the grill. "Oh dammit…the steaks!" Jason shouted and everybody laughed again.

Doug watched his daughters who played with the Lawrence boys. Was it the right thing to do?


	15. Chapter 15

**AN**: Readers, thank you so much for your patience. I'm always trying to update as soon as possible, but sometimes work is just too busy. I hope you understand. Thanks to **AliceJM** for your review!

* * *

**Redemption Date**

Avery, Jason, Carol, Doug and the kids sat outside for a long time. It was still warm outside that evening, the kids had fun and the adults talked about old times and Carol got to know the others better. Only when the kids got too tired to do anything, Carol and Doug decided to head home and get some sleep. "Can't wait to do this again", Avery said and everybody agreed. It was one of many following evenings.

The twins went to bed without complaining. When Carol crawled under her blanket, she snuggled close to Doug. "I hope you're not doing this just because of me…I mean, you need to tell me what you really want", she said and closed her eyes, as she laid her head on his chest. Doug started to play with one of her curls and chuckled. "Of course I want to stay here…I was just thinking about you and the girls. You have to give up so much in Chicago. Your mom, your friends, your work…Tess and Kate's kindergarten…they have their friends too, you know", he said and Carol sighed. "But I saw you today…I saw you the last few days and I know that it's the right thing to do. You love it here, right?" he asked and Carol looked up at him again. "I do. Since we arrived here, since I saw the house…I already can't imagine to leave it again", she smiled. "And the girls already found new friends...I did too", she added and kissed him shortly. "Yeah…they're great. And I think Avery is really happy that she now has a friend too…sometimes she got really bored with us men", Doug chuckled. "I can imagine", Carol teased him and he shook his head. "Do I bore you too?" Doug asked and Carol looked at him again. "Of course not", she chuckled but then stopped and stroke slowly over his cheek. "What?" he asked. "Do you think that this accident had to happen? I mean…what if it didn't happen…would I still be alone in Chicago and you alone up here?" she asked. Doug sighed. "I don't know, maybe. I…I hate the fact that you were hurt so much, but I'm also glad that we found together again. Now I can't even imagine that I survived four years without you", Doug answered and looked into her eyes. "I love you…I never stopped loving you", Carol whispered and smiled shortly at him. "I love you so much", she added and then kissed him passionately. "I love you too. You are my life and nothing in the world can change that", Doug answered and kissed her again. "And now let's sleep. We have a long day ahead tomorrow, I guess", he said. "Don't we always have?" Carol yawned and closed her eyes again. Doug nodded and stroke over her hair. Only minutes later, both were heavily asleep.

* * *

The next day Avery was watching the twins, while Doug and Carol visited the University Of Washington Medical Center, where Doug used to work. Carol was really excited to see the hospital. Doug told her so much about his job there, about his coworkers, about his success and she was really proud of him. She always knew that Doug was a great doctor and she always knew that he just wanted the best for his patients and here in Seattle he made it to the top. "Stephanie will freak out when she sees you…seriously", Doug chuckled when they entered the elevator. "Why?" Carol asked smiling. "Well…she knows our story…some of it", Doug answered and Carol nodded. "Okay, what did you tell her? That I'm a monster or what?" Carol laughed. Doug shook his head. "No. I told her how we got to know each other, how stupid I was when we first were together, how we got back together and stuff like that. She's a fan, I tell you", Doug chuckled again. "Well, we'll see…I'm curious", Carol answered and took his hand in hers, when the elevator door went open. "Hey Dr. Ross! Hey Doug! Hello Dr. Ross", it came from all sides and Doug greeted everyone he knew. Carol was kinda nervous but Doug squeezed her hand all the time and it calmed her down. When they finally arrived at the office, she could read "Dr. Douglas Ross, MD" on the glass door. "They didn't even change that", Carol smiled and Doug nodded. He knocked on the door and they heard Stephanie. "Yes, please?" she called and so Doug and Carol went in. "Dr. Ross! What a surprise!" she smiled, got up from her seat to shake his hand. "And you must be Carol, so nice to meet you", she added and suddenly hugged Carol who was really surprised. "I'm Steph, Stephanie to be correct. Do you want coffee or tea? What can I do for you? Oh Dr. Ross, you were so right. She really is a beauty", Stephanie said without taking a breath. Carol giggled. "Thanks…nice to meet you too, Steph! Coffee would be great, thank you", she answered and looked at Doug. "Calm down, Steph. Is Rick here? I need to talk to him", Doug asked. "Why, are you coming back to work here?" Steph chuckled and looked at a piece of paper. "Well, yes, you're right. I want to come back", Doug answered and Steph looked up at him. "Seriously?" she asked. Carol smiled and Doug nodded. "Oh my God, this is…you're staying in Seattle? Oh my God, I have to call Lucy!" Steph squealed and picked up her phone. "Steph? Rick?" Doug asked smiling and she nodded and pointed to his door. "Lucy, pay date! Dr. Doug is coming back!" Stephanie almost squealed into the phone and Doug turned around again. "Oh you didn't, did you?" he asked and Stephanie nodded smiling. "Like the old days at county, right? Betting on stuff", Doug said to Carol and shook his head smiling. "You must've been a nice boss, everybody likes you here", Carol smiled. "Well, I hope so", Doug said and Carol nodded. "Will you come with me?" he then asked and Carol shook her head. "I'll wait here", she answered and took a seat on the couch. Stephanie smiled at her while Doug went into his old office.

"Why didn't you bring your girls? I'd like to meet them too", Stephanie said while she made the coffee for Carol. "We'll bring them the next time…you know, they're four and get bored quickly", Carol answered and sighed. "I know…I tried to entertain a lot of kids here. I…um…I'm…I'm really glad you're here…in Seattle, with Dr. Ross. He told me about the accident, well; obviously…I'm glad you're okay and that you worked things out. He…well, I don't really know if I'm allowed to tell this, but he helped me a lot and I just want him to be happy. He kinda saved my life…" Stephanie babbled and then smiled shyly at Carol. Oh wow. Again, Doug was the hero here. Carol was speechless once again. "He told me a lot about you, you know", Steph added and handed Carol the cup of coffee. "Thanks…yeah, I know", Carol smiled. "I…God, I'm so happy that you're staying here. Dr. Ross…he always was like a father for me. I…I was a drug addict", Stephanie said again. Carol looked at her with questioning eyes. "I got pregnant from a customer…well, Dr. Ross…he found me on the street and brought me here. Of course I lost that baby…I killed it with the drugs, but thanks to Dr. Ross I'm clean since three years already. Yeah…it's a long story, but here I am…working for him", Stephanie laughed then. She reminded Carol of Charlie. All those years ago Doug tried to help the young girl back in Chicago and then she remembered that Doug mentioned Stephanie in one of his letters. Carol again smiled at Steph. "I'm glad he helped you…and that you're okay. He's a good doctor and he knows what to do", she answered and Stephanie nodded. "Oh man, I owe him so much but enough of me…how do you like Seattle?" Stephanie asked smiling and so Carol started to chit chat with her.

In the meantime, Doug had a talk with his colleague.

"How's it going, Rick?" Doug asked as he shook hands with him. "I…this is so funny, I just wanted to give you a call", Rick laughed. "New York called. They have a convention in three weeks and they want to discuss the PCA self medication status and I know that you started the project in New York but where the hell did you hide the records?" Rick laughed. This was Doug's major project before he left to Chicago. "Well, my secretary outside has all of the records out there", Doug answered smiling. Rick slumped down into his seat. "This isn't working without you, Doug", Rick sighed. Doug took a seat too. "Why not? You're a good doctor, Rick…Stephanie is still alive and the Peds ER is working great, as far as I know", Doug smiled. "Yeah, right, but this whole project stuff is yours and I'm just your colleague in that case", Rick answered sighting again. "Well…no need to worry. I want to come back", Doug smiled again and Rick made big eyes. "Really?" he asked and Doug nodded. "Really. My fiancée is sitting out there and she…we, decided to stay in Seattle", Doug said happily. For the first time he realized that there was a "we" again. "Oh wow…man…this is amazing…well then, welcome back, Doug!" Rick said and got up from his seat again to hug his old friend. "Thanks bud", Doug chuckled. "Then I guess this is your seat again", Rick chuckled and pointed to the armchair. Doug nodded. "Now introduce me to your beautiful fiancée" Rick suggested and they went out of the office again.

"Carol, this is my colleague, Dr. Richard Fisher, Rick, this is my fiancée Carol Hathaway", Doug introduced them and Carol got up from her seat. "So nice to meet you", she said and shook his hand. "My pleasure", Rick answered and looked to Doug again. "Good catch, Doug", Rick chuckled and punched Doug's arm lightly. Carol shook her head smiling. "Glad you decided to live in Seattle. If not, I think I would've had to kidnap Doug to bring him back here", he added and Doug chuckled. "Yeah, he can't do anything without me", he joked and put his arm around Carol. "I'm glad I'm here too. I really like it", Carol now said and smiled. "You're a nurse, right? Maybe you could work here too", Rick suggested and Carol nodded. "I am. Well, first we have to get everything settled and then I can apply", she answered smiling. "Right. So, when can you start again?" Rick now asked Doug. "I have to talk to Dr. Vandini first. I mean, I could start tomorrow, but I will be away a lot the next few days. We have a lot to do in Chicago", Doug said. Rick nodded but everybody could see that he was happy. "That's no problem I guess. Welcome back, again", Rick answered and smiled.

After some minutes of chatting, Doug and Carol decided to leave again and they said there good byes. "Hey Dr. Ross", Stephanie suddenly called after them. Doug and Carol turned around again. "Good to have you back", Steph smiled and Doug nodded. Carol stroke over his back. Now they just needed get everything settled in Chicago.

When they were standing in the elevator again, Carol took his hand in hers again. "I can't believe you wanted to give up your work here", she said smiling. Doug smiled too. She was right. This was what he wanted to do. But then he looked at Carol again. "Remember when I told you, that I'd do anything for you?" he asked and Carol nodded smiling. "That's why I applied at County. For you", he answered and smiled. "I know. But it would have been a stupid idea. You're like a hero, here", Carol smiled again. "Nah…I'm not…not really", Doug chuckled. "What…Stephanie…the Peds ER, PCA studies, conventions in the whole country? I'm…I'm so proud of you, Doug", Carol said and stroke over his cheek. Doug smiled and kissed her shortly. "Thank you", he said and smiled at her. Somehow he was proud of himself too.

* * *

"When are we flying back to Chicago?" Carol asked when they arrived at home. "Whenever you want", Doug answered and hung up his jacket. "Well, the sooner the better", Carol answered. "Alright. That means we have to book a flight back…will do that as soon as possible. And now I'm going to get the girls", he smiled and kissed her shortly.

When Doug was out of the door again, Carol got her cell phone and dialed the number of her mother. Helen picked up immediately. "Carol! How are you? How is Seattle? Why don't you call more often?" Helen asked. Carol smiled. "I'm sorry mom, there's so much to do here. Mom, it's beautiful here. The house, it's…it's like a castle, really. The girls were swimming already, they love it", Carol said smiling. "That sounds like…" Helen started but Carol interrupted her. "Mama…please don't hate me, but we will move here", she said and she heard Helen sigh. "My baby, didn't I always tell you to go to Doug? Now you finally realized what I always tried to tell you", Helen answered and Carol got tears in her eyes. "Oh mama, you were so right", Carol answered and wiped away her tears. "I know. Don't cry, my dear. You're doing the right thing", Helen said but Carol noticed that she was crying too. "Mom, we will come back soon. We'll talk then, okay?" she asked. "Of course, honey. Take care of yourself. And give my granddaughters a kiss. See you soon", Helen answered and hung up immediately. Carol knew that her mother couldn't talk anymore because of the crying. But Carol herself…she felt happier than ever before.

"Mommy! Carey and Casey got a tree house!" she suddenly heard Kate and got up from the couch. Tess and Kate came running to her and seemed very excited. "Oh wow, that's great, isn't it? Maybe your daddy can build you a tree house outside too", she smiled and looked at Doug who shrugged his shoulders smiling. "We don't have a tree at home, mommy", Tess said, shaking her head. "I know baby, but we have a lot of trees in our new home", Carol answered smiling. Tess and Kate looked at here puzzled. "Babies…your daddy and I decided that we will stay here in Seattle", Carol then said and knelt down to her daughters. "Hm…okay", Kate said and smiled shortly. "Okay", Tess repeated and smiled too. Carol looked at Doug. "Well that was easy, right?" she said and got up again. "Totally", he chuckled and went to them. "Welcome to Seattle, my three most favorite girls in the world", he said and hugged all three of them. "But daddy, we're already here since…since when are we here?" Kate asked and everybody laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN**: Here I am again! And again I have to say sorry for not updating for such a long time. You know, work, work work. Isn't it always work? Duh. Trying to update as soon as possible, I promise! Soo…enjoy reading!

* * *

**Chicago Rain Falls Heavily**

Carol and Doug were standing in front of the ER entrance of County General. Nobody said a word; there was just the sound of sirens from far away and traffic. "So this is it", Carol said and took Doug's hand. "Yeah…this is it. Ready to go?" he asked and Carol nodded. It was time to say good bye to her friends, to her second family, to her lifesaver. "I'll go straight up to Donald and we meet afterwards okay?" Doug said and Carol nodded. She wanted to go, but Doug held her back. "Love you", he said and kissed her shortly. Carol chuckled and shook her head as he walked away. "Hey Carol! Since when have you been back?" she heard Haleh who came around the corner with a big smile on her face. "Hey…we're back since yesterday", Carol answered and hugged Haleh. "How are you? You look great, by the way. Seattle must do you good", Haleh said. Carol nodded. "Too good I guess…I'm fine. Everything healed perfectly. Maybe some damaged brain cells, but except of that I'm okay", she answered laughing. "You'll move to Seattle right?" Haleh immediately noticed and Carol nodded slowly. "Yeah…I came to resign and to say good bye to all of you", she said and felt the tears coming up again. "Awww girl, don't you cry now!" Haleh quickly hugged her and started to cry too. The nurse has always been a good friend for Carol, no matter how often they had their differences. "Stop it now…it's okay. We're going to miss you, but it's okay. You belong to Doug…and it's about time. But I hate you for giving me the head nurse job", Haleh now laughed through her tears. "Aww Haleh…you always did a great job when I wasn't here and I know you'll do a great job now too", Carol answered and wiped away her tears. "Hey, what's…hey Carol! Since when are you back?" Carter asked as he came back from an exam room. "Carter! We're back since yesterday", Carol answered smiling. "You know what, girl? I'm going to tell everybody to come to the lounge, so you don't have to tell everybody the same, okay?" Haleh suggested and Carol nodded. "Good idea, thanks Haleh", she answered and went together with Carter to the lounge.

Carter, Luka, Abby, Kerry, Peter, Haleh, Lydia, Connie, Yosh, Chuny, Malik and other guys Carol didn't know showed up in the Lounge to hear what she had to say. Mark was at a meeting and Elizabeth was in the OR.

"Hey all…thank you for coming; this makes it a lot easier for me…" Carol started and looked down at her engagement ring. "I…as you all know, I had this accident and was in a coma for a long time. While I was sleeping, Doug came back to take care of our girls and yeah, when I woke up, we got together again, so…we're engaged again", she held up her engagement ring and earned some 'ooh' and 'aah'. "Well…I decided to move to Seattle with Doug and…I never really said thank you to all of you. You've always been so great with me, we always worked so well together and believe me, it's very hard for me to leave this place. Haleh, Lydia, Connie, Yosh, Chuny and Malik…you guys mean so much to me. I still remember how much we fought for our contracts and all that stuff, man…I was a lucky girl to work with you. Abby, you delivered my babies, Kerry, you're been such a good friend and helped so much! Man, I can't say thank you enough. I'll miss you all…but I finally know where I belong to. And you'll all be invited to our wedding, which will be here in Chicago. Thanks…for everything", she finished because the tears came back and smiled. Everybody started to hug her and wished her all the best. It was really hard to leave those guys. Here she worked since she finished nursing school. Here she got to know Doug and fell in love with him. Here her babies were born…but now she would begin a new chapter in her book of life.

Doug came downstairs again and found Carol chatting with a nurse he didn't know. "Hey…ready to go?" he asked and she nodded smiling. "See you soon", she said to the nurse and then went out of the hospital together with Doug. Once more she turned around to take a look at it. "You'll miss it, won't you…" Doug said squeezing her hand. Carol sighed. "I will…but we'll stay in contact. Haleh gave me her e-mail", she answered and smiled at him. "That's nice. It's always hard to leave…I really missed County when I left, but I found a new place which felt like home", Doug said and Carol nodded. "I know", she answered shortly and took another look at the hospital. Silently she said good bye.

"So, what did Donald say?" Carol asked as they were on their way back to Helen. "He wasn't surprised at all, since he knew what I was doing in Seattle", Doug answered and Carol nodded. "Yeah, of course. I bet he's really impressed of your work you did there", she said smiling. Suddenly her cell phone started to ring. "Hey Elizabeth", she said when she picked up. "Hey there! You didn't really, did you?" Elizabeth asked. Carol smiled. "I did…who told you?" Carol asked. "The whole ER is talking about you and Doug. What are you doing this evening?" Elizabeth asked. "Well…packing, packing, packing and stuff like that, why?" Carol asked. "Please come over to our place…we could have a barbecue before…" Elizabeth started but Carol interrupted her. "Elizabeth, we won't leave tomorrow, but we'll come anyway", she smiled. "Okay. Okay then. Well, see you. And bring the girls. Ella wants to play with them", Elizabeth said and hung up. "An evening with the Greenes?" Doug asked and Carol nodded. "An evening with the Greenes" she answered and took his hand in hers.

* * *

"So, why did you choose to move to Seattle now?" Elizabeth asked Carol. Carol smiled and looked at Doug, who was standing with Mark at the grill. "Because of him…and because of the house", she laughed and Elizabeth nodded smiling. "I see…it must be a castle", she answered and Carol nodded. "It's so big! Right by the lake, a big garden, a lot of trees…we fed the ducks every morning, the kids love it", she told and leaned back in her seat. "Man…I'll miss you guys", Elizabeth said and Carol sighed. "I'll miss you too…but hey, we can always visit each other. Seattle isn't the moon, you know", Carol answered and smiled at her best friend. "Right…but it won't be the same anymore. Who will have cocktail nights with me now? Who will listen to my whining?" Elizabeth asked sighting. "Elizabeth, stop that now or I'll cry again. Please", Carol said and wiped away a tear. Of course she'd miss Elizabeth too. She was her best friend since Susan left all those years ago. Elizabeth was a big help when Carol had the twins. It was hard to say good bye, but Carol knew that they wouldn't forget each other. "Well…you do the right thing. Finally. I mean…four years. How often did we tell you to go to Seattle and be with Doug?" Elizabeth chuckled and wiped away some tears. Carol nodded and hugged her.

"You seem happy", Mark said to Doug who was nipping on his beer. He nodded. "I am…it's…last time I was at your place I was praying that she would survive. Now look at her", he answered smiling. Every time he took a glimpse of his fiancée, his stomach made somersaults. "Ah yeah…you're in love, I get it…we're all happy that she survived this, Doug. She's always been a good friend", Mark answered smiling. "I know. Just like you've been a good friend to her", Doug answered. "So…how often does it rain in Seattle?" Mark asked. Doug laughed. "Not more than here…seriously!" he answered and nodded. "Well, I think we'll visit you up there soon. I'm sure Elizabeth can't wait to see the house", Mark answered. "Of course you can come…any time you want. We'll come back to Chicago too, I mean, Carol's mom lives here, my mom lives here…I need a basketball opponent", Doug chuckled. "Oh you still play?" Mark asked and Doug nodded. "I do. I'm better than ever", Doug answered. "I wanna see that…after dinner, 10 baskets", Mark said and chinked bottles with Doug.

* * *

It was almost midnight, when Doug, Carol and the twins left the Greenes. "Thank you for everything tonight, it was a nice evening", Carol said who had a sleeping Tess on her arm. "Thanks for coming! And call if you need any help with packing and stuff", Elizabeth answered. "Maybe next time, buddy", Doug smiled at Mark and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, maybe. You should start practicing!" Mark chuckled. "Okay…wish you a good night. Thanks again", Carol said and everybody waved good bye.

"Give me the keys…I'll drive", Carol said to Doug who put Kate into the car and fastened her seatbelt. Doug looked up at her. "You sure?" he smiled and Carol nodded. "Yes…you had some beers", she answered and so Doug gave her the keys. "And I need the practice…haven't been driving since that time on the parking lot", she smiled. "Okay then. Let's get home and get some sleep. I'm sure your mother will visit us tomorrow", Doug said and Carol nodded yawning.

The streets were almost empty this night. Carol smiled. She didn't feel any fear anymore. All she felt was just happiness and a little bit pain of parting. She's miss her friends for sure but mostly she'd miss her house. Although it wasn't a castle like Doug's house, it was hers for such a long time. But then again she thought about the house in Seattle. It wouldn't only be Doug's house anymore. It would be their house. Carol then looked at Doug who was already asleep, just like the girls in the back seats. Happiness won again.

* * *

When Carol woke up the next day because of a madly ringing doorbell and the sound of a lawnmower she felt a bad headache. "Oh damn…I'M COMING! WAIT A MOMENT!" she shouted and got out of bed. Why the hell did she have such a bad headache? She wasn't even drinking alcohol. Shaking her head, she looked out of the window and found Doug mowing the grass in the garden. The twins were swinging on their swing set and having fun. "Oh damn…mom", she then said to herself and ran downstairs to open the door. "So sorry you had to wait", she said and let her mother in. "Are you okay? It's 9 already, why are you still in your night clothes?" Helen asked. "We've been out last night…want anything to drink?" Carol asked and rubbed her forehead. "Sure…are you sure you are okay?" Helen asked again. "Just a headache mama…" Carol said and poured two cups of coffee. "Well, you look like hell. Maybe you caught the flu", Helen said. Carol shook her head. "I can't get sick now. Mama…Doug and I want to get married while we're here", Carol smiled but closed her eyes again because of the headache. "Take some aspirin…and I know, so don't get sick", Helen chuckled and Carol rolled her eyes. She definitely wouldn't miss the discussions with her mother. "Mom…can you start in the living room later? Wrap the books and stuff?" Carol asked and drank out her coffee. "Sure thing. Maybe I'll keep some", Helen answered and took a look at the bookshelf in the living room. "Oh yeah, I'm sure you'll read all the medical books", Carol said and rolled her eyes again. "Don't do that, young lady!" Helen advised her daughter and Carol smiled. "Sorry mom. I'm sorry", she answered and hugged her mother. Helen didn't answer but Carol noticed that she was crying. "Oh mama…please don't cry!" Carol said and Helen looked at her. "I'll miss you", Helen said and wiped away her tears. "Mama…we'll miss you too…but we will always have a room free for you, okay?" Carol asked and Helen nodded. "Thank you. And here will always be a room free for you too", Helen answered and Carol looked at her again. "Here?" she asked and Helen nodded. "Well of course. You can't sell that house. I'll take it", she answered and Carol made big eyes. "Mama…are you sure?" she asked. "I am. I want to have a little memory of you and the girls", Helen answered and started to cry again. "Oh mama", Carol answered, hugged her again and cried some tears with her together.

Now they had to get everything ready for the wedding…another major project to plan…


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **hey all! This chapter isn't very long, but it has a happy ending. Hope you like it :)

* * *

**Right were we belong**

"I can't believe that THE day is finally here…Doug Ross is getting married", Avery smiled and hugged Doug, as the family Lawrence arrived at Carol's house. Doug chuckled. "About time, isn't it…how was your night at the hotel, was everything fine?" he asked as he knew that they stayed at a hotel while they were in Chicago. The day before they all met at Carol's house to chat and have a barbecue. "We had a monster big TV screen!" Casey smiled at Doug and he chuckled again. "Yeah, they didn't want to leave the room", Jason smiled. "Well guys, go get a seat…and I'll take a look at the bride", Avery smiled and waved them good bye. "You nervous?" Jason asked when Avery was gone. Doug took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know…I'm…I'm just happy and excited", he answered and Jason nodded. "Well…good luck buddy. And congratulations again. See you at the frontline then", Jason smiled and Doug nodded. He was probably the happiest guy in the world right now.

Carol heard a knocking at the door and turned around. "Come in unless you are Doug Ross", she said and smiled when Avery entered the room. "Hey Avery", she said and hugged her. "My God Carol…you look amazing!" Avery answered as she took a look at Carol and her dress. It was a real simple white and short dress and she had a dark red loop around her waist; also she wore white shoes and had a white flower in her dark hair. "Not too much?" she asked and took a look in the mirror again. "Just beautiful! How are you feeling? I'm so happy for you", Avery said smiling. "I'm fine…a little bit exhausted, but fine. You know, our girls are trying to get all the attention and are acting weird today. Kate doesn't want to wear her dress and Tess is nervous. But except of that…I've never been better", Carol smiled. It was the truth. Everything seemed to be so right and she was happy. "Man…some months ago we all were worried because of your accident…seriously; I prayed every night that you'd survive this", Avery now said. Carol smiled. "Thanks Avery. That…that means a lot to me. I'm…I'm just so sorry that Doug had to go through this…not only the accident, but all four years. It…I was just so stupid", Carol answered and looked down. Avery smiled. "Well, we all make mistakes. We should just be glad that now everything is fine, right? You get your happy end and that's what matters", she answered and Carol nodded. "You're right. Now, how late is it?" Carol then asked and turned around to see the clock. "Almost time to go!" Avery squealed and Carol laughed. "I'm going to my boys…see you later, Carol. Congrats, again", she continued and hugged Carol again. She was probably the happiest girl in the world right now.

* * *

"Tess? Kate? Come here, please. You need to get your flowers. Carol? Can you please get your daughters?" Helen nervously asked and ran around in the room like there was no tomorrow. "Mom, please calm down okay? Everything is just fine. Why…why don't you go out already? I'll come out in five minutes", Carol smiled. Helen looked at her and wiped away a tear. "God…stop crying mama", Carol laughed and handed her a tissue. "You want schnapps? May calm you down a little bit", Elizabeth giggled and Carol looked at her. "Okay guys…let's get this done before you all get drunk okay? Babies, it's time!" she then called after her daughters who came running. "Holy crap, Katherine! What did you do with your hair?" Carol made big eyes. "Well, it was stitching up here!" Kate answered and made a face. "You said crap", Tess chuckled. Carol rolled her eyes. "Liz? Can you make her a ponytail? Please?" Carol asked and Elizabeth nodded. "Sure thing!" Elizabeth said and then Carol hugged her mother, who was still right behind her. "Mama, thanks for everything", Carol said smiling. "You're welcome. How come you're so calm today?" Helen asked with watery eyes. Carol smiled and sighed. "Well…I love him, mama. Together we are right where we belong", she said. "Okay…now I have to cry if you don't stop", Elizabeth said and wiped away a tear. Carol smiled and hugged her best friend.

* * *

Doug looked up as everybody went silent and all he could see was the beauty of his soon to be wife. She had Tess and Kate on her hands and they were going beside her with a smile on their face. Doug chuckled as he saw Kate with a new hairstyle and Carol shook her head smiling. Elizabeth and Helen were walking right behind them and Helen was crying silent tears. "Hey", Carol whispered to Doug and took his hand in hers, as the girls went to Helen and Elizabeth. Carol then waved at Jason and Sarah, Doug's mom, who were standing beside Doug. "You look beautiful", Doug whispered and Carol smiled.

They had just eyes for each other while the registrar was talking. Helen and Sarah were crying here and then and Kate started to play with Carol's ring. "Hey Missy, stop that. I need that one later", Carol chuckled and all the guests started to laugh. Then Kate stopped and looked really scared. Carol stroke over her head and smiled.

The ceremony was filled with love, smiles and happy tears and only moments later Doug and Carol said "I will". Now they were husband and wife, until death would do them apart. "You now may kiss the bride", the registrar said and Doug smiled at his wife. "I love you", he whispered before he kissed her passionately, picked her up from the ground a little and twirled her around. Carol chuckled as everybody started to applaud them. "Love you too", she then answered and stroke over his cheek. Then everybody wanted to start to congratulate them but Carol stopped them as she turned around again. Almost all her co-workers from County were here; Mark was here and sitting in the front row with Ella, who almost fall asleep already; Avery was wiping away happy tears and her boys were punching each others arms; Stephanie tried to stop them and some days ago she also invited David and his wife to come and they were standing behind the seats.

Carol smiled and took a deep breath, without letting go Doug's hand. "I…first I want to thank everybody for coming, this really means a lot to me…to us", she started and looked at Doug. "It have been quite eventful months with my accident, the therapy I got and moving to Seattle and stuff, but I'm just thankful that my daughters and I came out safely of everything. David…I can't thank you enough. I mean…I'm so glad you were there the right time at the right place. Thank you. You guys…" she then looked at her co-workers. "You saved me a second time. Seriously, I don't know how I could give anything of that ever back to you. We worked together for such a long time and I sure will miss you, but I really hope we can stay in contact. Don't let yourself be punished by the doctors", she continued and then everybody laughed. Then Carol turned to her mother. "Mama…I know we often have our differences, but you know that I love you, don't you? I love you so much. You've always been a great mother and always been there for me. Thank you for just being my mom. You're such a strong person and I sometimes wish I could just be like you, but I guess Doug wouldn't like that", she now had tears in her eyes too, but chuckled because of her last sentence. Helen nodded and wiped away her own tears too. "Sarah, I'm so glad you could come too and I hope we'll be able to have a long talk today…thank you for giving birth to my wonderful husband", Carol chuckled again and Sarah nodded too. "Elizabeth, Mark…I owe you two so much. You two are such wonderful people and you have a beautiful daughter and I really hope we could visit each other as often as possible. Thank you so much for your help, not only for your help in the last four years, but since we know each other you've always been there for me and I really appreciate it. I love you guys!" She now hugged Elizabeth and also Mark, who came straight to her after her little speech. "Avery, Jason…also Carey and Casey…we don't know each other for such a long time, but thank you for accepting me as a friend too. I was really worried that you wouldn't like me because I hurt Doug that much, but then you were so friendly when I arrived in Seattle and I'm…I'm glad. Thanks for being my friends", she smiled at family Lawrence and then finally turned to Doug.

"Doug…I love you. I love you so much and I know we talked about this before, but I still regret that I didn't come with you to Seattle four years ago. I…it was a stupid decision I made and I hope you'll forgive me one day. I…God, you mean everything to me. I don't know how I deserve your love, but I want to be with you until the rest of my life. You…you gave me the most wonderful, beautiful daughters in the world and they love you too, right babies?" she turned to her daughters and the twins nodded smiling, not really understanding what their mother was saying. "Thank you for being you, for being there for me, for us, while I was sleeping, for being there for the girls, for making my life complete. I love you and always will", now the tears were running down her face when Doug hugged her and kissed her, like there was no tomorrow. "I love you too, Care…and I'm glad that everything turned out the way it did", he chuckled and wiped away the happy tears she cried. Smiling, she took his hand in hers again and laid it on her stomach. "Doug…I'm…I'm not finished…oh, I…I waited with this for three days and God, it feels so good to tell you personally…well, three days ago I…I found out that…that you'll be a daddy again…I'm pregnant!" Smiling, she looked into his eyes again and could hear everybody squealing behind her. "You're…" Doug started and Carol nodded. Doug closed his eyes and let her words sink in. "Care…that's…God, I love you", he only said and kissed her again very passionately and finally everybody clapped their hands again. Could life get more perfect? He would be a daddy again. Tess and Kate would get a brother or a sister. Oh, he couldn't wait to hold his baby for the first time. To hear it cry for the first time. To be there when it made its first breath.

Carol smiled and wiped away a tear on Doug's cheek. "We're married", she whispered smiling. "We are…finally", he chuckled and Carol kissed him again shortly. "I love you", she whispered again, closed her eyes and rested her forehead on his. "I love you", Doug answered whispering too.

"Congratulations, you two!" Carter then shouted and jumped up from his seat. Carol and Doug turned to their guests and laughed. "Thanks Carter! Now let's celebrate!" Doug answered and now the party began.

The newlyweds and their guests celebrated until the morning hours. Tess and Kate had fun with Ella, Carey and Casey, Helen went to bed earlier because she had too much wine, Carol had a long talk with Sarah, Doug had fun with Jason and Mark, Elizabeth was talking with Avery, the nurses went home earlier because they had to work the next day.

And from now and then, Doug looked at Carol and she looked back at him, knowing that life couldn't get more perfect…


	18. Chapter 18

**AN:** Sandy here! I hope you didn't wait all too long for me, but here I am again. Thanks for **goodwifefan**'s review :D Hope you like the next chapter too, if yes, I'll continue the story :D love, Sandy

* * *

**By your side**

Only about three weeks went by since the wedding in Chicago and now Doug was already gone. Summer was slowly coming to an end and it was raining since three days in Seattle. Tess and Kate had to go back to their new kindergarten in three days and were already getting impatient about it. And Carol…well, she was still trying to settle in fully in her new home. The first week she, Doug and the twins were together on vacation and it was wonderful.

Most of their time they spent on the beach, having fun in the sun and enjoying the warm Californian weather but the best part for the kids was the visit in Disneyland. They had been there a year ago but remembered everything. Tess and Kate took Doug's hand and tugged him to all the attractions they wanted to see. The last two days of their vacation they spent at home in Seattle, went swimming in the lake or driving out with the boat. It was a perfect week. And then, one week after all the trouble, Doug started to work again. Avery was a big help for Carol. She helped with all the stuff that came from Chicago, showed her around in the neighborhood, showed her stores and the kindergarten for the twins.

Now, Doug was at this convention in New York, the kids were fussy and crying because of the rain and Carol was all alone in this big house. Now she really could imagine how lonely he must have felt when he was alone here. He was gone for almost two days and she already missed him. Sighting, she laid a hand on her flat stomach and thought about the baby that was growing inside of her. This time would be so much different. She looked at Tess and Kate and thought about her pregnancy back then.

How long did she and Doug try to get pregnant back then? Carol was frustrated. Maybe it was because she kissed Powell. Maybe it was because she tried to kill herself. She even took her own blood to run some tests, but everything was okay. There were so many questions. Was it Doug's fault? Maybe it was because he cheated on her. Maybe it was because he kissed her, while she was still engaged with Taglieri. No matter what it was, she loved him with all her heart and soul. Things were going so great between them. Doug was wonderful. Carol looked at him and couldn't believe how much he chanced. He was a different man…and such a good lover. Carol couldn't wait to have a baby with him. She knew that Doug would be a great daddy. He was so good with kids. When he was working at the peds station in the ER, she watched him and fell in love with him over and over again. Everything was going to great – until Joi Abbott visited the ER with her boy, Ricky. Since then, everything went downhill.

She couldn't remember how long this lasted. Was it three days? Was it three weeks? She just knew that Doug started to close her out of his actions. He started to close her out completely. Carol wanted to help him. She wanted to be there for him, but when she found out what he did…that he betrayed her and her clinic…she was just so mad at him but God, she loved him so much. It hurt what he did, but she didn't stop to love him. But did she do anything? No. She just was the same as Kerry Weaver or Mark Greene. She never asked Doug about anything. She wasn't there for him.

Maybe they conceived the twins in their last night together. This last night they had together was probably the most hurting night ever in both of their lives. Carol cried all the pain away but Doug touched her, he kissed away her tears. He told her that he loved her; that he would always love her, but the more often he said it, the more he disappeared in her life. And the more he disappeared, the more Carol died. When she woke up the next day, he was gone and two babies were growing inside of her stomach. And although Doug was gone, she knew that they were conceived out of love and nothing else.

This time was so different. They hadn't been together since four years but when they made love for the first time again, it felt like they were never separated. Carol felt so much love for him. His touch, his kisses, his words…everything meant so much to her. She always knew that she wanted one more baby with him, but this time it came so unexpected. They didn't try for it but it happened so quickly. She was happy. This time Doug would be here. He would see the first ultrasound. He would feel the first kicks this baby made. He would have to be okay with Carol's hormone variations. She couldn't wait for that moment, when she would look into the eyes of that baby for the first time of her life. She couldn't wait for Doug to be there, to experience the wonder of giving birth together with him. Also, how would Tess and Kate react to a new baby in the house? Would they be jealous? Would they be proud older sisters? Wow…for the first time Carol realized how exciting everything was. She now was married, living in Seattle, she had two fussy and frustrated daughters and a baby was on the way. Too bad Doug wasn't here. She just had to wait two more days.

"Mommy, your phone", Tess told her and interrupted her thoughts. "What about it?" Carol asked and looked at her daughter. "Somebody called", Tess said and looked at the TV again. Carol looked at her puzzled. It wasn't ringing, was it? She got up and looked for it. "Oh, I got a message from your daddy", she smiled and read it out loud. "Good morning, my beautiful girls! Hope you have a great day, I miss you all. Have a lot of work to do, but we'll see us soon. Love, daddy." Carol smiled and turned to her daughters again. "Mommy, why did he write good morning?" Kate asked. "Because it's morning now in New York", Carol tried to explain to her. Kate looked at her puzzled. "That's crazy", she just said and shrugged her shoulders. Carol smiled and started to write back. "Hey baby. I just thought about you. We (and mostly I) miss you too. It's still raining here and the kids are bored. How's work going? Love, mommy", she pushed the answer button and waited.

* * *

Doug was sitting at the hotel lobby waiting for the boss of New York's children hospital. He was way too early but he couldn't sleep longer because the jetlag was still haunting him. Also, he missed his family. It was so hard to leave them after the good time they had. He missed Carol. It felt so good to have her in Seattle. After all those years, he finally was happy again. Once again he thought about their long lasting relationship.

He still remembered the first time he looked into her eyes.

It was a day in September and he was standing in front of County General in Chicago. He got that job offer there and well, the salary wasn't really huge, but he needed that job. Suddenly he heard two ladies talking and he turned around. One of them was blonde and good looking and the other one had black curls and she took Doug's breath away. Carol. "Do you need help?" the other one asked and he could read 'Dr. Susan Lewis' on her ID. "I…yes, I'm looking for Dr. Anspough", Doug answered smiling. "Straight ahead, elevator on the left side, fifth floor", Susan answered and she went back inside with Carol.

Since that day until now they had quite a story. It wasn't beautiful at some times, but it was what made them what they were now. They went through ups and downs, had wonderful times and bad times, but now when he thought of her, he just felt pure love. Doug was still sad that he missed those four years in her life, the birth of his daughters, them growing up, but when he thought of that accident they had, he knew that he should be lucky to still have them. He was so scared when he got that phone call from Mark. And when he saw Carol lying there attached to all the machines, he thought that he lost her already.

But he didn't and he was so thankful that she came back to life. She finally was his wife and the mother of his children. He didn't even want to ask for more because now he had everything he ever wanted. Smiling, he got out his cell phone and wrote Carol a message. "Good morning, my beautiful girls! Hope you have a great day, I miss you all. Have a lot of work to do, but we'll see us soon. Love, daddy." When he pushed the send button, he thought about going home earlier just because he missed them so much. He didn't want to wake up alone again. Maybe he could finish work today. Then, a message from Carol came back. "Hey baby. I just thought about you. We (and mostly I) miss you too. It's still raining here and the kids are bored. How's work going? Love, mommy." Doug smiled but right when he wanted to answer, Dr. Klein showed up.

* * *

It was bed time in Seattle already, when Carol's phone rang. "Hey baby", she answered it and smiled. "Hey yourself…sorry that I didn't write back earlier. The meeting began and we just finished…how are you?" Doug asked. Carol leaned back in bed. "I'm good. Exhausted because of your fussy daughters, but except of that I'm okay. How was the meeting?" she asked back. "Good, really good. We almost finished and just some points to discuss left. I miss you…" "I miss you too…wish you could be here right now", Carol answered and sighed. "I know…just two more days. Will you be okay?" he asked. "Of course. Oh, I talked with Stephanie today. Guess what, she has a boyfriend now!" "No…really? Man, I hope he's not…" "No, he's not. She said he's a law student and she met him in the library. Don't worry, Doug", Carol chuckled. "Thank God. And I do worry", he answered and Carol smiled again. "I know, she's your eldest daughter, right? So, do you already know what time your flight will arrive in Seattle?" "Yeah, about three in the afternoon. But I'll call you when I'm here, okay?" he answered. "Alright. Can't wait", Carol answered. "Me neither…hey, how's our baby doing?" he chuckled. "Oh, it's fine I guess. It just made me throw up once in the morning", Carol laughed. "Sorry I'm not there to help", Doug said sadly. "Oh no, it's okay Doug. You do your work and we'll see us in two days", she answered and yawned. "Yeah. Well, I'm going to let you sleep now. Will call you tomorrow, okay?" "Okay. I love you!" "Love you too. Bye Care", he smiled. "Bye papa", Carol smiled and then they hung up. With him on her thoughts, she finally fell asleep.

* * *

It finally stopped to rain when he arrived at home. All he could here was the sound of crickets and some cars on the streets. With a smile on his face he opened the door to his house. It smelled so good here. Here and there he found some toys from Tess and Kate and then he realized that now there was life in his house. Finally. He put his suitcase in the corner and went upstairs to the kids' room. Tess and Kate were sleeping silently in their beds and looked really peacefully. Doug took a seat on Tess' bed and stroke slowly over her cheek. "Hey baby…I'm back and I really missed you. See you in the morning, princess. I love you", he whispered and then kissed her forehead. "Hey munchkin…I missed you too…I'm glad I'm back again. Sleep well, honey", he whispered to Kate and kissed her forehead too. "Daddy, I missed you too", Kate murmured still asleep and Doug chuckled. "I love you", he said and put two soft toys for them on their beds before he went out again.

Only minuets later he crawled under the blanket and hugged Carol slowly. God, it felt good to have her in the arms again. And how good she smelled. Now he was satisfied. "Hey…you're back early", she murmured half asleep without opening her eyes but snuggling closer to him. "Yeah…I didn't want to stay longer. I love you, Care", he answered silently and closed his eyes. Suddenly Carol jumped up from her sleep. "You're back?" she asked and Doug chuckled. "I am!" he answered and Carol kissed him quickly. "God, I missed you so much", she said through the kiss. "Oh, I missed you too, believe me…but I'm not going anywhere now", he answered and stroke a curl behind her ear. "You bastard! When you called, you were already in Seattle, weren't you", she said and punched his arm. "Haha…I really was…surprise!" Doug answered smiling. "I love you", she said smiling and shook her head. "I love you too…and now go back to sleep", Doug answered and kissed her again. "I can't believe you", Carol chuckled and snuggled closer to him again. "Yeah…I'm an open book", Doug said and closed his eyes. "I'm glad you're back", Carol sighed and smiled. "I'm glad too. Can you wake me up around 9 tomorrow? I need some sleep. Damn jetlag…" he answered but Carol was already asleep again. Doug watched her for two more minutes until he closed his eyes again and he didn't let her go until he woke up in the morning…


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: **YAY, a new chapter is here! Thanks for still following! This one is kinda out of Kate's and Tess' POV. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**You are my Sunshine**

Katherine Helen Ross didn't quite know how she should feel about everything. She was on the way to the new kindergarten together with her mommy and Tess. Daddy was in the big hospital again. Yesterday she met Stephanie for the first time and she was really nice. Daddy said that she was family but Kate didn't really know what that meant. Kate looked to Tess with a furrowed brow. How could her sister possibly be so calm about everything? They just left all their friends in Chicago. What if the kids here didn't like them at all? Of course there was Casey but he would go to school next year. Kate was really worried that the kindergarten teacher was a bad person. In Chicago Sue was great. She was singing all the time and telling great stories. Well, she knew she shouldn't be so nervous. Tess wasn't nervous. She was stronger than Tess was.

"Are you scared?" she asked Tess who then looked at her. "No, and you?" Tess asked. Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Baby", her sister whispered giggling and showed her tongue to Kate. "I'm not a baby, you are a baby", Kate shouted back but stopped when she saw the angry eyes of her mother. "Nobody is a baby and now stop that fighting. We're almost there", Carol said and Kate rolled her eyes. She then saw her mother smile but she had no idea why. First she was angry and now she was smiling. This was all crazy. Kate's mommy changed so much since that accident. Not that she would mind it, not at all. She was happy for her mother. When they had the accident, she was scared. Oh boy, she was so scared. Daddy always said that mommy would wake up but she was sleeping so long. Mommy wasn't allowed to die; never. And when she woke up, it was better than birthdays or Christmas. Of course Kate loved her daddy too, but they had so much time alone with mommy and it wouldn't be right when she would die. Mommy was really in love with daddy, Kate could tell. They were kissing so much and mommy was always smiling when daddy was here. Kate wondered why it was that way. She couldn't imagine kissing a boy like that all the time. Yuck! Well, she liked boys better than some girls, but kissing them? No way. Then she thought about the wedding which was beautiful. Mommy was beautiful with her dress. Kate was really sorry that she ruined her hair. She just didn't like dresses and stuff like that for herself. The party was cool. She and Tess were allowed to stay up long and they were dancing and having fun with Ella, Carey and Casey. Too bad she wouldn't see Ella for so long because she was still living in Chicago and she was living in Seattle now. Kate couldn't wait for Ella to come to see the new house and the lake. The lake was great, Kate loved it, but she didn't love the rain. When it would be summer again, she wanted to swim every day. Then again, she hoped that her mommy had time then, because she said she would get a baby and Kate knew that babies needed their mommy most of the time. She wondered where that baby was and why it took so long to arrive. Daddy said it was in mommy's belly. Kate often looked at her mommy's belly and she couldn't imagine that there was a little baby inside because she was so thin. Well, daddy was always right, so she believed him of course. Kate hoped that she would get a baby brother. Mommy said that she would be its big sister then and that was really exciting for Kate. Of course she had not really an idea how it would be, but she knew that she was a little bit proud. "Okay, we are here! Ready to go?" Carol then asked and Kate looked at her again.

She wasn't really ready. Summer time was over too soon. Maybe if she stayed in the car, nothing would happen. Tess was already out of the car and wow, she seemed really excited. Of course, her sister was always the one who could join new people really quickly while Kate first had to overlook the situation. Why did they even have to go to kindergarten? She could play at home too. "Come on baby, let's go!" Carol said and opened the car door. Kate frowned. "I'm not a baby, mommy", she answered and crossed her arms in front of her. "You are my baby!" her mother smiled and then Kate smiled too. She was mommy's baby and she would always be, right? "Don't you want to meet your new friends?" Carol asked. Kate thought about it for a moment. "No", Kate answered shortly. "And why not?" Carol asked. "I don't need new friends. I already have Tess and Carey and Casey as friends. That's enough", Kate said and frowned again. Her mommy then giggled. "Maybe you'll get new friends, who knows? You won't find out until you go inside", Carol said and stroke over her baby's hair. Maybe mommy was right. She could at least try it. "Okay", Kate murmured and got out of the car. "Are you coming with us?" she asked her mom and Carol nodded. At least something.

"Welcome girls, you must be Tess and Kate, right?" a young black haired woman asked smiling as they entered their room. Kate looked around and well, it looked nice. It looked really nice, so she smiled at the woman. "My name is Addison and I'm really happy to get to know you", Addison said and she shook first Tess' and then Kate's hand. Okay, she was nice, that was a relief. "Mommy you can go now", Kate said to Carol and then everybody laughed. Why was that so funny? "Alright, be good girls. See you later", mommy said and kissed her girls. Kate then was ready for her new adventure!

Mommy was gone and now Kate was standing beside Tess who looked really scared. "Now you're a baby" Kate whispered and giggled but she took her hand nevertheless. "Alright girls, come with me", Addison whispered and took Kate's hand. Both she and her sister followed Addison in the middle of the room. "Kids? Come here to our circle. We should welcome our two new girls in our group!" Addison said and took a seat on the floor. Kate and Tess joined her. "I already know them!" Casey said and put his hand in the air. Addison smiled and nodded her head. "I know you do. Girls, don't you want to introduce you?" she then asked Kate and her sister. Kate nodded. "Hey you all, my name is Katherine Ross but I'm called Kate. I'm four years old but soon I will be five and I like swimming a lot", Kate smile and looked at Addison. Now she was a proud girl. Of course she noticed Tess who wanted to be as proud as her sister. "My name is Theresa Ross but I'm called Tess and I'm four years old too and almost five years old too and I like swimming too and driving my bike", she said and smiled too. "Oh that is nice, welcome to our group, Kate and Tess. Now we'll sing you a song, right kids?" Addison said and all the other kids screamed yes. Now Kate knew that there was no need to be nervous. Nobody was a bad person here. Everything was okay.

* * *

Theresa Sarah Ross was so excited. So excited that her belly hurt. Or maybe it were her feet. Or her head. They were on the way to the new kindergarten. Oh God, this was SO exciting. She would get to know new kids and her new kindergarten teacher. And she could show off her new bag. It was beautiful, even more beautiful than her old one. Kate didn't have such a beautiful bag. Mommy made sandwiches in the morning and also put orange juice in it. Tess decided to paint her mommy a picture in kindergarten. To say thank you for everything. Oh, but what if the new kids didn't like her at all? Maybe they had a Tommy who always picked on her too? She didn't like Tommy back in Chicago, but Kate liked him. Kate liked boys more than girls but Tess played more with girls. Girls liked dolls and princesses, not baseball or motocross. Kate sometimes was like a boy. But right now Tess was happy that her sister was with her. Of course she was nervous. Theresa Ross was always nervous. The only time she wasn't nervous at all was when they had their accident, because she couldn't remember it as much as Kate. Tess got a surgery but the doctors gave her a magic injection. She wasn't nervous then, but so scared. Scared that she would have to die, that her mommy would have to die or that Kate had to die. She was so happy when her daddy showed up then. Daddy was so cool. He always told the best stories and he was so funny all the time. Tess was daddy's girl. Maybe he could teach her how to drive the bike without the supporting wheels. Daddy always knew what to do. He also made mommy happy. Mommy and daddy were like a princess and a prince. Like in a fairytale. Tess was stunned when mommy and daddy got married. Mommy was so beautiful and daddy got such big eyes when he saw her. It was great. Moving to Seattle was quite stressful. Well, not for Tess or her sister, but for mommy and daddy. They had so much to do but Tess got really excited for Seattle too. Of course she already missed her friends in Chicago. Ella and Jody most of all. Maybe she could paint them a picture too. Except of that, Seattle was amazing. Daddy had this beautiful house which looked like a castle and it was beside the lake and this was so great. In summer they could go swimming all the time. She and her sister had a huuuuuge bedroom, so much bigger than in Chicago. Of course she still needed to get used to everything in Seattle, but she loved it already. Mostly because of the lake. Mommy seemed to love it too. She always said, she loved the morning time, when the dust was still over the lake and the ducks were at the dock. Why did she like dust? That was weird. Well, maybe that was because she would have a baby soon. Hopefully, it would be a girl named Valerie. Tess didn't know why she liked the name Valerie. It sounded nicely.

Tess looked at Kate. "Are you scared?" Kate asked and Tess looked at her bored. "No, and you?" she asked and saw her sister shrug her shoulders. Kate was never scared. Why couldn't she herself be that strong? "Baby", she called her sister then, just to show her that she wasn't scared either. Well, that was a lie. She was scared. Scared of the new kindergarten teacher. Scared of the new people. Scared to leave her mommy. But she wasn't allowed to show it. She was a tall girl already and soon she would be a big sister for the baby. Tess so hoped it would be a girl, just like her. A girl who liked Barbie and dolls and princesses. Not a girl like Kate. Kate just wanted to play stupid things. Oh boy, what if that baby didn't like Tess at all? It would be family, so it had to like everybody, right? Well, it wasn't here yet, so why did she even worry? When mommy stopped the car, she got out of it immediately. Tess just didn't want to show she was worried. Everything would be fine. And then Kate was really like a baby. Sitting in the car and frowning. Tess rolled her eyes. Kate said she wasn't a baby, but why did she act like a baby then? At least mommy knew what to do. Tess wouldn't go in alone, never ever. She and Kate were a team. Okay, they were fighting too often, but they were a team. They were sisters and Tess loved her.

Finally they were inside. The sooner they would finish this, it was better for Tess' nervousness. This kindergarten teacher seemed nice. She was beautiful. Tess wished she could be as beautiful as an adult too. Addison shook her hand but she could only smile and then looked at Kate. "Mommy you can go now", her sister said. 'No, mommy, pleas stay…all day long, please. I need you' Tess screamed on the inside but she just nodded and smiled at Carol. She needed to be strong.

"Now you're a baby", Kate then whispered and Tess showed her tongue to her sister. She sure wasn't a baby. Everything was fine, right? They were still living. So Tess followed both Kate and Addison to the middle of the room. And while Addison said something, Tess waved to Casey. Okay, there sure was no need to be nervous at all. Tess noticed that Kate wasn't nervous anymore because she spoke like a oh-so-strong girl. She could do that too. She was a strong girl too. "My name is Theresa Ross but I'm called Tess and I'm four years old too and almost five years old too and I like swimming too and driving my bike", she said and felt really proud. But was it driving the bike or riding the bike? Tess had no idea. She would learn that in school then. Then they were singing a song. A happy song. Tess was happy. Oh, this kindergarten was not bad. In fact, it was great. The kids were cool. Well, there was one girl Tess already knew she didn't like. But that didn't matter. Tess was just glad that nobody killed her in that place. She now couldn't wait to tell her parents about that.

* * *

Doug and Carol waited on the outside of kindergarten for their kids to show up. It only took some minutes until Tess and Kate came running out and soon the concert began. "Mommy, daddy, mommy, daddy, this happened, that happened, we did this, we did that, I like this, I like that". This didn't stop until they brushed their teeth.

The adults were sitting on the big sofa in the living room watching the evening room when Tess and Kate came running from the bathroom. Kate crawled on Carol's lap and Tess crawled on Doug's lap. "Aww…it's cuddle time, I guess", Carol smiled at Doug and he nodded. "They were so nervous today", Carol said and stroke over Kate's hair. "I wasn't nervous at all, mommy", Kate murmured and Carol nodded. "Of course not, baby", she answered and soaked in the scent of her daughter. "Are you excited for tomorrow?" Doug asked Tess. "Yes daddy", Tess murmured and snuggled just closer to him. "I guess they are ready for bed", Doug whispered to Carol and she looked at him again. "Just some more minutes", she whispered back and smiled, as she took Doug's hand in hers.

Tess opened her eyes again and looked at Kate, who was looking back at her. They both smiled then; happy to be in their parent's arms; the only place where they wanted to be for the rest of their lives.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: **So sorry for my absence lately. Again, it was work who took all of my time. I hope the next chapters will come quicklier. Thanks for staying with me, though. I really appreciate it! Sandy

* * *

**Tears in Heaven**

When Doug came home from his shift, he found Carol sleeping on the couch. Smiling he bent down to her and kissed her cheek. Carol stirred and opened her eyes slowly. "Hey baby", he smiled and kissed her. "Hey…did I fall asleep?" she answered in a sleepy voice and sat up. "Seems so…girls sleeping already?" Doug asked and Carol nodded. "Yeah…they were bicycling all afternoon with the Lawrence boys and were pretty beaten", she smiled. Doug took a seat on the couch beside her. "It's great that they found new friends so quickly", he answered and rubbed his eyes. "Busy shift?" she asked and he nodded. Carol sighed. "I miss working", she said and Doug took her hand. "I know you do. I…I'll manage to stay at home more often. I miss to spend time with my girls", he said and smiled at her. "Your girls miss you too", she smiled back and kissed him slowly. "At least you're done with your shifts this week…are you hungry? We have some lasagne left", Carol asked and wanted to get up from the couch, but got dizzy. "You okay?" Doug asked and Carol nodded. "Yeah…I think I just didn't drink enough for today", she answered. "You should do an ultrasound soon. Maybe I should ask Steph to make an appointment", Doug said and Carol nodded. "Yeah, you're right…I need a new OB anyway", Carol said and finally got up slowly. "Well, you'll like Diane, I'm sure", Doug answered and followed her into the kitchen. "I hate that feeling", Carol answered and took a deep breath. "What feeling?" Doug asked and started to warm the lasagne. "The 'everything is new' feeling. I feel so…helpless", Carol said and got herself a glass of water. Doug chuckled and put his hands around her waist. "I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Just…just give it time", he said and smiled. "I know…it was my decision to move here, right?" she answered and he nodded. "Don't you like it?" he asked. Carol stroke over his cheek. "I love living here. Seriously…together with you, in this beautiful house, in this beautiful city…I just need to get used to everything. Getting to know new people…getting to know the city", she tried to explain. Doug smiled. "You'd tell me if anything was bugging you, right?" he asked and Carol nodded. "Of course I would. I'm…I'm just glad you're here now", she hugged him then and laid her head on his chest. "I'm glad you're here, too", Doug answered and stroke over her hair.

Carol's hands felt sweaty and she took a deep breath. "Hey…everything will be okay. No need to be nervous", Doug said and looked straight into her eyes while he rubbed over her hands. Carol tried to smile. "I have a weird feeling", Carol answered and looked down. "Why?" Doug asked and she looked at him again, shrugging her shoulders. "Don't know. Was anything not weird lately?" she chuckled and Doug smiled. "Well…it's going to be alright. We'll have a wonderful, beautiful, healthy baby", Doug said and Carol nodded. It was so, so good to have him there. When she was pregnant with Tess and Kate she didn't have anybody when she had her first ultrasound. Now the father of her children was with her and she knew that Doug was excited too. "Tell me about your first ultrasound when you were pregnant with the twins", Doug suddenly said, like he knew what she was thinking. Carol smiled. "You want to know when I found out that I'll have twins?" she asked and Doug nodded. "Well, that was funny. There was a patient in the hospital. She said she had this esoteric gift and could see things. And…nobody knew about my pregnancy yet, but she asked in the middle of her exam if it would be a girl or a boy and that normally she knew the gender, but not with me. First I was kinda shocked because one of the nurses was in the room too, but I acted a little bit and said, we don't know yet. Well, the woman didn't stop to ask about the baby, if we have names already and stuff like that. And suddenly she smiled. I asked her why and she didn't say a thing. Oh…and then I wanted to know, so I did an ultrasound on my own. Well, Mark and Lizzy searched a quiet place to…well, you know what and they found me. So Lizzy helped me and she had that weird look on her face. I asked her what's going on, I mean, my first thought was that something was wrong with the baby. Well, they found out on that day that I'll have twins", Carol smiled and Doug smiled too. "I'm so sorry I missed all of this", Doug then said and looked down. Carol cupped his chin so he'd look at her again. "Hey…you're here now and that's what matters, right? Without you I wouldn't have another baby", she smiled and kissed him. "I'm glad you're here now", she whispered and kissed him shortly. Doug smiled. "Me too", he answered and suddenly the door went open.

* * *

"Mrs. Hathaway? You can come in now", a nurse said and Carol nodded. "Ready?" she asked and got up, offering her hand to Doug. "So ready", he smiled and took her hand to get up. Carol was nervous. This uncertainty was almost killing here. Doug was nervous too. He made hundreds, thousands of ultrasounds as a doctor already, but now he was the father. He was excited to see his baby for the first time and he couldn't wait for the baby to arrive. Finally he would be there from the beginning.

"Doug! Good to see you, how are you?" Diane smiled and shook Doug's hand. "Hi Diane, good to see you too!" Doug answered smiling. "Oh, you must be Carol, so nice to meet you", Diane now said to Carol and shook her hand too. "Nice to meet you too", Carol answered and took a deep breath again. "Congratulations on your wedding! And now tell me what I can do for you two", Diane said and they took a seat at Diane's table. Carol smiled. "I made a positive pregnancy test before our wedding", she said and Diane nodded. "Congrats again! That's good news! Well, I'd say we write down all your dates and do an ultrasound then, okay?" Diane smiled and Carol and Doug nodded.

Only some minutes later Carol was lying on the examine table, holding Doug's hand, while Diana put that slippery substance on Carol's stomach. Doug's eyes were shining when the familiar sound appeared. He looked at the screen and smiled but Carol looked at Diane. Her smile faded away when she saw the furrowed brow of Dr. Miller. Diane looked at this ankle, at that ankle, but then she sighed. "Oh damn…" Doug closed his eyes and rubbed them with his hand. „I'm sorry. There is a baby, but it looks like a tubal pregnancy. I'm really sorry…" Diane said and wiped Carol's stomach clean. She couldn't answer. She couldn't breathe. She didn't feel anymore.

Doug wanted that baby so badly. He was so excited to be a father again. He saw it immediately. And right in that moment he lost track. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to Carol, not to him, not to anybody. Why? After all they've been through they deserved some luck, didn't they? God, he wanted that baby so damn badly.

He was so excited to be a father again.

* * *

After Carol had curettage she and Doug were on the way home again. "Can you stop at the store? I need stuff for lunch", Carol said without looking at Doug. "Sure", he answered and sighed. He had a hard time and Carol…she was so calm. Like nothing happened at all. Wasn't she a little bit sad? She just lost a baby. Their baby. "What about a chicken salad?" she asked and Doug nodded. "Sure, why not", he answered. Lunch was the last thing he was thinking about now.

While Carol was at the store, it started to rain. Doug got out his cell phone and phoned his mom. "Hello my dear son, so good to hear from you again", Sarah said as she answered the phone. He could tell that she was smiling. "Mom…" he said and she immediately knew something was wrong. "What's going on?" she asked. "Carol lost the baby." There. He said it and it felt like a joke. Like it wasn't real at all. "Oh my God…I'm so sorry Doug! What happened? Is she okay?" Sarah asked. "We don't know what happened. Everything was just fine…she's okay. She had curettage", Doug told her and noticed that tears formed in his eyes. "Oh Doug…maybe it was too soon after the accident. You'll try again, won't you", Sarah answered. "I don't know mom. We'll see. I…I just wanted to let you know. We'll talk again, okay? I gotta go now", Doug answered and rubbed his eyes. "Of course, hon. Tell me if you need anything and say hello to Carol and the girls. Keep your head up", Sarah said and then they hung up.

* * *

Carol was preparing lunch, while Doug got the twins from kindergarten. She felt so incredibly lost, that she didn't know what she should feel. "Dammit!" she almost shouted and smashed the knife down. Why did this happen to her, to them? She was so happy about the pregnancy and Doug was so happy about the pregnancy. Was she being punished? Did the universe pay it back to her, for letting Doug alone for all this years? She didn't know the answer and she knew that she would never get an answer to that question. She had to live with it.

"Mommy!" Tess shouted and she almost jumped. "Hey babies…how was kindergarten?" she tried to smile as she saw Tess and Kate in the hallway. "It was okay, mommy", Kate answered bored and got rid of her shoes. "Where's your daddy?" Carol asked puzzled. "He said he had to do some stuff", Tess said. "But he said that you won't get a baby", Kate said and looked at her mother. And then it hit her. She won't get a baby. "Yeah sweetie…I won't get a baby", she said through a waterfall of tears as she bent down to her daughters who started to hug her. For the first time she realized that it was real indeed. "Mommy, don't be sad", Tess said and rubbed over Carol's back. "Yeah…don't be sad. You still have Tess and me", Kate added and Carol looked up to the twins. "Oh girls…I love you. I love you, so, so much, do you know that?" she asked and put a curl behind Kate's ear. "You're everything for me, don't forget that", she said and kissed both of her daughters a hundred times. They were only almost five years old, but sometimes they just knew what to say in the right moment.

Doug still didn't show up, so they had lunch on their own. The girls weren't that happy about the salad, but somehow they didn't want to complain about it, knowing that their mom was still sad about the baby. After lunch they disappeared in their room upstairs, while Carol finished the dishes. Carol was worried about Doug. Where the hell was he? And then she saw him as she looked out of the window.

He was throwing that ball through the basket over and over again. "Doug", Carol said and shivered from the cold. He didn't listen, or he didn't hear her. "Doug!" she said a little bit louder. He caught that ball and turned around. "What Carol?" he asked rather fiercely than nice. Carol took a deep breath and felt her tears coming back. "Talk to me", she said near tears and looked at him. "What? What is there to talk about? Everything seems just fine, right?" he said and turned around to play the ball again. Carol closed her eyes and a single tear escaped her eye. "You're allowed to be sad, Doug", she said and Doug turned around once again. "Sad? I…I don't know if I'm sad, or mad or just pissed about everything. I…yes, I'm sad. I'm sad and pissed and mad and…" he took a deep breath and looked at Carol. She went closer to him and hugged him, as she couldn't hold back her tears any longer. "God Carol…" she heard him murmur and she looked up at him. "Doug…I…" she started but stopped as Doug wiped away her tears. "We lost our baby", he said and tears formed in his eyes too. "We did", Carol answered and stroke over his cheek. "Don't do this to yourself, Doug", she whispered. "Let's go back inside…it's freezing", she continued but Doug held her back. "We lost our baby", he whispered and then couldn't hold back his tears anymore. Carol closed her eyes and hugged him again. "It's okay, Doug. It's going to be okay…" she sobbed and cried together with him, not knowing if anything would be okay again…

* * *

**AN:** I'm sorry for the drama again, but there was too much happy time in the last chapters, in my opinion. Well, I won't go for drama for long. Stay tuned for happy chapters to come ;)


	21. Chapter 21

**AN**: Apologies! I was fighting against the flu and am now back at work again *meh* always the same, always the same…but anyway, here's a new chapter, hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Kids**

"Daddy, I think I can't do it alone", little Kate said as she sat on her bike and looked at Doug. Doug smiled. "Well, I think you can do it alone, Peanut", he answered and nodded at her. Kate looked at him with fear in her eyes. "No daddy, please…no", she begged. "Tell you what, Kate…I'm here okay? I'll hold the bike and you just try it okay? You don't have to ride alone, if you don't want to. Nothing will happen to you, I promise", he tried to assure her and she took a deep breath. "Daddy…I want to ride the bike, but I'm scared of falling", Kate answered and rolled her eyes. Just like her mom. "You won't fall, sweetie. Come on, let's try it. You don't know if you can do it if you don't try it", Doug smiled and clapped on her helmet. Again, she took a deep breath. "Okay then", she said and frowned. "BUT DADDY!" Tess almost screamed and Doug looked at her. "What Sugar?" he asked and looked at her. This wasn't as easy as he thought. "You need to help me too", Tess smiled. Doug smiled back at her. "I know you do. But we agreed to help Katie first, right?" he answered and Tess nodded. "Sure, sure", she just said and looked at her finger nails. She was such a princess. "Alright, Miss Peanut. Let's start. Push the pedals as hard as you can. Push back when you want to stop. I'm here, but focus your eyes on the street, okay?" Doug now told Kate and she nodded. He could tell she was nervous, but she tried it anyway. "Yay Katie, you can do it!" Tess shouted at her with a smile on her face and clapped her hands. Doug slowly let his hands go from the bike and Kate tried it alone. "Daddy! I can do it! I can do it!" she shouted happily and laughed. "Yeah baby, you are riding the bike all alone! But now stop!" Doug shouted back with a furrowed brow. "I can't…I can't stop, daddy! Help me!" Kate screamed and as soon as she pushed the pedals back, she fell. "Ouch", Tess murmured and Doug ran to Kate. "Are you hurt?" he asked but smiled as Kate started to laugh. "No daddy, but this is so awesome, I wanna do it again", she said and stood up again. "Oh you little punching bag", he chuckled and hugged her quickly. "I'm not a punching bag daddy", Kate murmured in his arms. "I know, you're my Peanut. And now try it again, but don't go too far away. I need to help Tess now", Doug answered and Kate nodded.

"You ready?" Doug whispered into Tess' ear. "Ready, Sir", Tess whispered back. "Alright. Mission: riding the bike to start. Everything settled?" he whispered again. "Everything settled. Ready to take off", Tess now chuckled at her daddy. "Alright Sugar. Start slowly", he whispered again and helped Tess to start. At first she seemed very wobbly but slowly she seemed to have found her balance. "Can I let you go?" Doug asked and Tess nodded. "Yes daddy", she answered and so he took his hands from her bike too. Now Tess tried to drive alone. Doug couldn't deny it; he was so damn proud of his girls. They tried for several days now and finally they were able to ride the bike without help. Seeing them laugh was the best thing in the world. He threw his hands up in the air and laughed with them. "Wohooo! Awesome, girls! I'm so proud of you!" he shouted and the girls wohooed too.

Carol watched them from the door and wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek. Doug was such a good father and the girls loved him so much. She started to wonder how it would've been with the baby. The baby that wasn't meant to be. Would she ever be able to make him a father again? She was so scared; scared to lose a baby again. Scared that anything would happen to Tess and Kate but seeing them with Doug, she knew that he would protect them from everything bad in this world. Slowly she went to Doug, took his hand in hers and rested her head on his shoulder. "So now they can ride their bikes…" she said and sighed. Doug chuckled. "Yeah…amazing, isn't it", he answered and smiled. "They're growing up too quickly", Carol sighed again and snuggled closer to Doug. "I know…but it's great, seeing them grow up", Doug answered and kissed her head. "And I'm sure…I'm sure we'll get to see another child growing up too…don't give up your hopes, Care", he continued and finally she looked at him. Doug always knew the right words to say. She was so much in love with this man. Still. "I know", she whispered and wiped away another tear. "Look, I'm sad too. I…I already imagined how it would be. If it would be a boy or a girl. What we should name it. How it would look like. What it would like and what it would hate. I already saw us with that baby, Care and I know…I FEEL that we will be parents again. I feel it", he said and kissed her tears away. "I love you, Doug", she whispered and closed her eyes. "And I love you", Doug answered. "MOMMY! LOOK AT US!" Carol then heard Kate as she drove up and down the street together with her sister. Carol then smiled as she saw how happy her girls were. "Amazing girls! Just don't go too fast!" she called back and waved at them. "Mommy, faster is funnier!" Tess shouted back and Carol nodded smiling. "They're coming totally after you…you can't deny it", she now laughed at Doug and he kissed her again. "At least something", Doug chuckled and put a curl behind Carol's ear.

* * *

"Hey, dinner is almost ready", Carol called as she heard the door slam. "It's only me", Doug answered and smiled as he entered the kitchen. "What smells so good?" he asked and looked at the stove. "Where are the girls?" Carol asked, as she got the salad ready. "Still bicycling…hopefully they don't want to tike their bike to bed", he chuckled and ate some noodles. "They're out there all alone?" Carol asked and now looked at him. "They're with the Lawrence boys…don't worry, Care", Doug said. "But…it's getting dark already…they should come in", Carol answered. Yes, she was worried. "Oh come on, let them have their adventures…they're having so much fun…the street is safe", Doug said. "Oh…you never know, right?" Carol said. Doug put his hands around her waist and smiled at her. "Carol…look at me. They are having soooo much fun. We're not in Chicago anymore. We're in Seattle. Outside of all the trouble from the city. You know our neighbors, they know our girls. Stop worrying. Okay?" he asked, still smiling. Carol sighed. "I never let them alone before…" she said. "I know. Just…just come with me and look at them", Doug answered and took her hand.

Carol rolled her eyes and followed him. He opened the door and Carol could hear laughter and the sound of fun. "One…two…three!" Casey shouted and they started a race. "Carey…you're unfair!" Kate called after the boy. "Yes, you're older than us!" Tess agreed. "Alright, alright. Next run I'm going not so fast", Carey answered and turned around again.

"See…they're having fun with their future husbands", Doug chuckled and Carol looked at him surprised. "Future husbands? Hah", she said, rolled her eyes again and went back to the kitchen. "Oh…you never know, right?" Doug repeated her sentence she said before. Carol laughed. "Yeah, right. You're always right", she answered and looked at him again. "Well, first let them go to school, graduate from high school and start College…then we can talk about husbands", she continued. Doug chuckled again. "Sure…do you wonder sometimes what they'll do?" he asked as he put dishes on the table. "No idea. I just hope that Kate won't want to become a stuntman or something like that", Carol laughed and finished the sauce. Doug chuckled and nodded. Then he looked at Carol and took her hand. "I…I love them, Carol. Thank you for giving me the most wonderful daughters in the world. Thank you for making me a daddy", he smiled and Carol put her hands on his cheeks and kissed him very slowly and passionately. "Thank YOU for giving ME the most wonderful daughters in the world, Doug. Without you, I wouldn't have them", she smiled and kissed him once again. "I…I never thought I could fall in love with you more than I already did", she whispered and looked deeply into his eyes. "Oh…that's totally possible. I fall in love with you over and over again, every morning when I wake up and see you sleeping beside me and every time you look at me just like you do now", Doug answered, cupped her chin with his finger and kissed her. With all the loving and kissing they didn't even realize the sauce which started to boil over. "Oh dammit", Carol whined and hesitated. Doug chuckled. "Here…let me help you", he said and started to wipe away the sauce from the ceramic hob.

Only seconds later Tess and Kate came in. "Daddy…we need a light for our bikes. It's too dark to ride it now", Tess said and looked at him with big eyes. "Well, you should ride your bikes only on daytime, right mommy?" Doug answered and looked at Carol. "Totally right. Our neighbors want to go to sleep when it's dark", Carol answered smiling. Kate frowned. "And oh my God…how do you look Miss Kate?" Carol asked as she saw her daughter. Kate looked down with a sad face. "Mr. Casey and I tried to play motocross but I fell", she murmured and Carol looked at Doug smiling. "Future husband and stuntman? Not so far away, huh?" he chuckled and Carol nodded smiling.

* * *

Kate really was an open book. Right now she behaved totally like a girl, when Carol told them a story about a princess and a prince who came to recue her. Tess listened with both her eyes and her ears and Kate asked so many questions. "What dress did the princess wear?" "What hair color did she have?" "Was she beautiful?" "Was the prince strong?" "Did he have a horse?" Carol chuckled from time to time because of her daughter. When she finished the story, both Tess and Kate clapped their hands. "That was sweet", Tess said smiling. "I'm glad you like my story", Carol answered and tucked them into their blankets. "Girls?" Carol asked and took a seat on Tess' bed. "I love you so much…both of you. Do you know that?" she smiled and her daughters nodded. "Promise me that you won't grow up that quickly", she added and looked at the girls again. Kate looked at her with questions in her eyes. "What do you mean mommy?" she asked. Carol smiled. "I want you to be my little girls forever", she said and kissed first Tess and then Kate. "Mommy…one time we will be taller", Tess said as Carol stood up from her bed. "I know honey…but you'll always be my little baby girls", Carol smiled at them. "Good night, little princesses. Sleep well, you bike queens", she added and went to the door. "Good night mommy", the girls said in a choir and Carol smiled again. "We love you too", Kate then murmured, almost asleep already. Carol bit on her lip. All this brought tears in her eyes. Since she lost the baby, she cried a lot. This needed to stop. She was so happy with her girls. They made her happy.

When she entered the bedroom, Doug was already in bed. "Girls finally sleeping?" he asked and Carol nodded. "Yeah and I bet they'll dream of bike heaven tonight", she chuckled as she crawled into bed. Doug chuckled and snuggled closer to Carol. "Or from future husbands", he murmured and started to kiss her shoulder. Carol shook her head and giggled. "Too soon", she answered and Doug looked at her. "What…future husband talk or this?" he asked and nibbled on her earlobe. Carol closed her eyes and enjoyed this. "Definitely future husband talk", she said and turned around to kiss him and started to play with his hair above his neck. Oh, she was so ready to make love with him again. It's been too long since she had the curettage and she was so afraid…afraid to get pregnant and to lose that baby again, but now she was so ready. Today she realized once again that she had everything she ever wanted and if she would get pregnant again, it was meant to be. She didn't give up hope. "Stop thinking", she heard Doug murmur and she looked at him again. "Then erase my thoughts", Carol answered and laughed as Doug started to kiss her. "You know me too good", she giggled through the kiss and Doug stopped to kiss her.

He looked at her and was lost in her eyes again. This woman. He still couldn't believe that she was his wife; that she was the mother of his children; that she was with him. "Doug? Are you okay?" Carol asked and he nodded slowly. "What do you think?" she asked and finally he came back to his senses, as she stroke over his cheek. "I love you", he said smiling and shaking his head slowly. "I love you and I want to make a baby with you, now", he added and kissed her again. "Doug", Carol murmured and he looked at her. "We can't force it, you know that", she said and cupped his head in her hands. "I know, but we can practice", Doug chuckled and Carol rolled her eyes again while she laughed and started to kiss him again. Practice wasn't a bad idea at all.

And in this night…in this special night, a new life was created. A new life full of love and happiness.

* * *

**AN**: Awww…isn't this sooo romantic? I know, maybe too romantic, but yeah, this is the power Doug and Carol do to me *lol* I just *can't* let them be sad. They deserve happy, right? xS.


	22. Chapter 22

**From the Beginning**

Dammit. He was supposed to meet her after lunch. It was a lot after lunch now. And man, he couldn't go away. His boss was talking and talking and talking and it seemed that he didn't want to finish soon. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Doug didn't even recognize that he fiddled around with his pen all the time. He was clapping with it on the table like a little child. Well, he was supposed to meet Carol because she had a surprise for him and he *so* hated to let her wait. He couldn't even phone her or anything. "Doug?" he suddenly heard and looked at his boss. "Hm?" he asked. "You seem so far away…is everything right?" Dr. Vandini asked. "Erm…you know…my wife…she…she's waiting for me since half an hour", he mumbled and smiled then. Dr. Vandini smiled back and shrugged his shoulders. "Then why didn't you tell me that earlier? That poor thing will think you stand her up", he chuckled and Doug looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Well, yeah…I thought…I though this here is important", Doug answered. Dr. Vandini waved with his hand. "Oh, I bet you heard that a million times before. Let's do this on Monday. Enjoy your weekend. And now go, I don't need a furious Mrs. Ross in my office", he laughed again. "Hathaway. She stayed with her name…but thank you. Thanks. Monday, then", Doug mumbled again and left the office like a flash on its way down to earth.

Carol frowned. She was waiting too long now. "I'm sure he'll come soon. You know, Dr. Vandini is a great talker. When he starts, he doesn't stop so soon. Hah, he could be my dad right?" Stephanie said and smiled at Carol. "Yeah, right", she just answered, not in the mood for small talk now and of course, Steph noticed that. "Sorry to bother you", she said in a pissed tone and concentrated on her work. "I'm sorry, Steph. It's just…I have an appointment and I have to get the twins afterwards", Carol apologized and Steph smiled again. "Yeah, I know…waiting sucks. Shall I call in? Normally I'm not allowed when he's in a meeting with THE boss…but…" Steph answered but Carol shook her head. "No, it's okay, thank you. I'll just wait a little bit longer", she answered and sighed. "No need to wait…sorry it took me so long", Doug said as he entered his office and smiled at Carol. "Wow, finally! I thought you'd never come back", Carol said and got up from the couch. "Alright, let's go…have a nice weekend, Miss Stephanie", Doug said to his secretary. "You too! Tell your girls hello", Stephanie answered and waved at them.

"So, where are we going?" Doug asked excited. Carol smiled. "Not too far away…I have an appointment with Diane", Carol answered. "For a check-up? And I should be there for…" he asked. "Well, I think I'm pregnant again and I thought you wouldn't want to miss that", Carol answered without showing an expression. Doug stopped and Carol turned around. "WHAT?" he asked stunned. Carol smiled. "I might be pregnant again, Dr. Ross", she repeated and then Doug almost ran to her and hugged her and twirled her around like he did on their wedding. "Seriously? Why didn't you tell me anything? You don't have morning sickness, do you? How are you feeling? Are you…wow. Wow!" Oh yes, he was stunned. Happy. So happy. This was…so soon, but wow. "Oh Doug…I wanted it to be a surprise…and…well, I didn't get my period, so I made a test again and, well, it was positive. And don't worry. I feel good. I…I just need to be sure, so I called Diane", Carol answered smiling. "Good. Wow. Okay. Good. Let's see. Oh damn. Wow", Doug mumbled and Carol kissed him shortly. "Stay calm. Don't expect too much, okay?" she asked and Doug finally nodded.

"Alright. Round two", Diane said and put the slippery substance on Carol's stomach. Carol took a deep breath and nudged Doug's hand. She didn't look on the screen; she just looked into Doug's eyes. He watched so closely and his lips trembled. Was that a smile? Did he smile? Quickly she looked on the screen. There really was her baby. A teeny tiny embryo with a beating heart. "Oh my God", she said and covered her mouth with her hand. "Everything seems perfectly fine this time", Diane said and moved the ultrasound to another position. It was so tiny, only a little spot in Carol's stomach, but she already felt so much love for that baby. Doug couldn't take his eyes away from that monitor. How often did he see this already? How often did he tell his patients that they would get a baby? But this here was so different. This here was his baby, his own and he already loved it so much; he was afraid to crush it with his love. God, this was indescribable. He wanted to run out and scream it all over the world. "Steady heart beat and a good position, size is okay. Do you want a picture of this?" Diane asked and Carol nodded. "Two copies", Doug said with a smile from one ear to the other. Carol looked at him and fell in love with him over and over again.

Calculated birth date was the 14th of August. August. Hell, this was an eternity away. Doug wanted to hold that baby now. He wanted to smell this special baby scent. God, he couldn't wait. "Doug…we're getting a baby", Carol said excited and turned towards him after they left Diane's office. "I know, Care and I'm so happy! Are you happy?" he asked and put his hands around her waist. Carol smiled and kissed him slowly. "More than happy. I love you", she answered and stroke over his cheek. "I love you too. And now let's get our daughters to celebrate their birthday", Doug answered and Carol nodded smiling. Her babies were five already and pre-school soon. Where did that time go? She remembered every single moment she had with the twins.

She couldn't describe the feeling she felt when Tess was born. That little, beautiful baby was her daughter; hers and Doug's. He always wanted a Theresa and Carol gave her first born this name. Carol remembered a little sadness too. She was sad that Doug wasn't there to experience the birth of his daughter; to be there when she took her first breath and hear her first cry. Tess was such a beautiful baby and Carol knew that Doug would be a proud daddy.

Kate, her little trouble maker. After Carol gave birth to Tess she was so exhausted. Of course she knew that giving birth to twins would be exhausted, but she didn't want to have a c-section. Mark was with her and he was supporting her as much as he could, but he wasn't Doug. On that day she wished for nothing more than he being there with her and yet se was so afraid to call him…to tell him about his daughter. And then…then everything went so quickly and she only felt fear. She was so scared that her baby might die and that Doug wouldn't get the chance to see it ever. Carol knew that she made a mistake. She knew it earlier but then she knew it for sure.

She felt a little stitching when they cut her stomach and although she couldn't see anything, she felt when they got Kate out. Carol waited only for her crying but there wasn't a sound of her daughter. And when she saw her for the first time, she almost freaked out. Kate was blue and NOT crying. This wasn't right. Carol started to pray. She didn't pray forever, but this time she started to pray. Maybe it helped because Kate was getting better. Her baby was a fighter and Carol couldn't describe how relieved she was. But man, was she tired. She didn't even have the strength to look at her daughter. She only saw the blood she was losing and she heard Mark discussing something with Dr. Coburn. Carol thought she had to die and she hoped that Doug would be there for his beautiful daughters.

When she woke up she felt an incredible happiness when she saw Tess and Kate, healthy and already wanting all the attention they could get. She felt love and

Carol called Doug too late. And although she knew it was the biggest mistake of her life, she didn't want him to come back.

She looked at Doug who was driving the car and put her hand on his. Now he was there from the beginning until the end. She was still sorry that he missed out on the first time but he was here now and that was what mattered.

Doug looked at her and smiled. "You okay?" he asked and Carol nodded. "Never been better…you?" she asked back. "Never been better", he answered smiling and concentrated on the street again. To be honest, he probably was the happiest man on earth.

* * *

Carol and Doug waited outside of the kindergarten. "Do you think we should wait to tell everybody about it this time? Until the third trimester or so?" Carol asked and Doug shrugged his shoulders. "Well, we could always tell our mothers right?" he answered and Carol nodded. "Oh look, our babies are coming", she then said and smiled as she saw her daughters.

"Hey girls! How was kindergarten?" Carol asked and bent down to kiss both of her daughters. "Oh, we got a chocolate cake and the other kids sang happy birthday for us", Tess said smiling. "So you had a great birthday until now, right?" Doug asked and smiled back. "Yes daddy but can we go home now?" Kate yawned. "You not feeling well?" Doug asked and bent down to her. "I'm tired…" Kate murmured. Doug felt her temperature. "She feels hot…let's drive home then", he said to Carol and she nodded.

On the way home Kate fell asleep. "Wait…is Kate sick now?" Tess asked and Carol turned around to her daughter. "We don't know yet, but it seems that way", Carol whispered. "Oh damn, what a birthday", Tess said and frowned. "Sorry baby…but don't swear, okay", Carol said in a sad way. "But I can have my present, right?" Tess asked. "Hey, come on, presents are not the most important things, right?" Carol said and Tess nodded slowly. "Right. We should be happy to be healthy…" Tess murmured and Carol giggled. "But I think I saw a present this morning", Doug said and Carol looked at him, making a face. Tess got big eyes. "Yay", she said and clapped her hands. "What? Look at her, she's so excited", Doug said to Carol. "But they'll never learn that they can't have everything", she answered and rolled her eyes. "Well…it's their birthday, right?" Doug said and Carol shook her head smiling, looking out of the window.

"Oh wow, we got new bikes! Katie…wake up! We got new bikes!" Tess tried to wake up her sister as they arrived at home and she could see the new bikes already. "Tess! Calm down, okay? Don't wake your sis", Carol said fiercely but it was too late. Kate was looking at everybody, not knowing what was going on. "We got new bikes, Katie", Tess now whispered into Kate's ear and Kate smiled. "Can we go see them?" Tess asked excited. "Wait until daddy stopped the car", Carol said and rolled her eyes again. "What? They are excited…let them be excited", Doug said again. "I didn't even hear a thank you yet", Carol murmured and Doug chuckled. "Okay girls, go and take a look at your new bikes", Doug said as he helped first Tess and then Kate out of the car. "I'm too tired, daddy", Kate said and searched for his hand. "Alright Peanut…you need your bed and when you're okay again, you can try it out too", Doug said and picked her up. Tess ran to her new bike. "This is awesome! Look at that…mommy, look!" Tess said really excited and Carol looked at her. With that look on her face she couldn't even be mad at her daughter. It warmed up her heart to see her that happy. "Happy Birthday, again, baby", Carol said and hugged her daughter and kissed her a thousand times. "Happy Birthday, Sugar!" Doug called from the door and Tess waved at him. "Thanks mommy and daddy", she called at them and smiled from one ear to the other. "Why is it winter now?" she murmured to herself and shook her head.

* * *

While Tess was still in the bath tube, Carol visited her second daughter who was trying to fight her fever. "Mommy this is so unfair…it's the most stupid birthday I ever had", Kate whined and snuggled closer to her mom. "Aww baby…I know. Did you drink your tea already?" Carol asked and Kate nodded. "It's ugly", the little girl answered and closed her eyes. Carol wiped away a tear on Kate's cheek. "Really? Normally you like tea", Carol smiled a little. "Can't daddy give me medicine? I wanna ride my new bike too", Kate asked. Carol shook her head. "You just need to sleep the fever away. You don't have any pain, right?" Carol asked and Kate shook her head. "No", she said and yawned. "I just feel dizzy", she added and Carol sighed. "Well, try to sleep, baby. It will be better tomorrow", Carol answered. Kate looked at her again. "Will you stay with me a little bit longer?" the girl asked and Carol smiled at her. "Of course, baby. I'm here", she whispered and kissed Kate's forehead.

When Doug came in with Tess he chuckled. "Looks like you have company tonight", he whispered to Tess when he saw a heavily sleeping Carol and a heavily sleeping Kate snuggled close to her. "Can I sleep in your bed then?" Tess asked and Doug shrugged his shoulders. "Course…why not, birthday girl", he smiled and picked her up. Tess laughed and laid her head on Doug's shoulder. "Love you, Sugar", Doug said and poked Tess lightly. "Love you too, daddy", Tess answered and kissed Doug's cheek. "You need to shave", she mentioned and made a face. "Tomorrow", Doug murmured and covered his daughter with the blanket. What an eventful day that was…

* * *

**AN**: That was to expect right? :D


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: **Sooo, the next chapters will be a lot about the pregnancy, of course. There will be some time jumps but nevertheless, I hope you like it :D

* * *

**All in the Family**

**December 25****th****, too early in the morning…**

"MOMMY! DADDY! SANTA WAS HERE!"

Kate was louder than the sirens from the fire brigade. "Doug…Santa was here", Carol nudged Doug who was hiding his head under the pillow. "Info goes back to you", he murmured without moving. "Let's just pretend we didn't hear her okay?" Carol asked and snuggled closer to him. "Okay", he answered and turned his head to her.

"MOMMY! THERE ARE PRESENTS!"

"THERE ARE PRESENTS FOR YOU AND DADDY TOO!"

"Ugh…how late is it?" Carol murmured and turned around to look at her cell phone. "Holy crap…six…are they insane?" she added and sat up in bed. "Yeah well, it's Christmas", Doug answered and crawled out of bed like a robot. Carol looked at him and smiled. "Hey…come back here", she said and held out her hand for him. "But the girls…" Doug said but leaned back to her nevertheless. Carol kissed him passionately. "Wow…what's that for?" Doug asked chuckling. "For our first Christmas together since four years. I love you", Carol smiled and stroke over his cheek. "Wow, right…Merry Christmas. I love you too", Doug answered and kissed her once again.

"Mommy, daddy, Santa even ate the cookies and drank the milk!" Tess smiled and jumped up and down when Doug and Carol came downstairs. "Good morning to you too and Merry Christmas, princess", Carol yawned and stroke over her daughter's head. "Oh dammit", Carol then said and rubbed her eyes. "What?" Doug asked concerned. "My mother's flight will arrive this afternoon", she murmured and rolled her eyes. "Yay, Merry Christmas, everybody!" Doug chuckled and guided her to the living room, where a wonderful decorated Christmas tree was standing, inclusive two little excited girls who couldn't wait to open their presents.

**December 31****st**

"Do you think I'm getting bigger already?" Carol asked when she lay in bed and stroked over her stomach. Doug, who came out of the bathroom, looked at her. "Well…a little bit maybe…" he murmured and went to the wardrobe to get some clothes. "My God, what if I'm pregnant with twins again? I mean…it's two months now and I'm already starting to show", Carol said and got out of bed too. Doug chuckled. "Well then we need a bigger house", he answered and Carol made a face. "I'm going to castrate you with my own hands if you got me pregnant with twins again", she murmured and went to the bathroom.

"Guys, breakfast is ready!" she then heard Helen from downstairs. Carol rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes, listen to your mother!" Doug warned her with a smile. "Yes, sir", she saluted and disappeared in the bathroom.

"Where's Carol?" Helen asked when Doug came downstairs. Tess and Kate were already dressed and sitting at the table. "Oh, she's still in the bathroom, all worried because of her weight gaining", Doug chuckled. "Yeah well, she really looks good for two months", Helen mentioned. Doug looked at her. "You think?" he asked and Helen shrugged her shoulders. "Well, we had some multiple births in our family history…" Helen answered. "Yeah, but again? I don't know…she'd be one of a million", Doug chuckled and got himself a cup of coffee. "Remember, castration", Carol said as she entered the kitchen and pointed at him. Doug put his hands in the air, like he got arrested. "What does that mean?" Kate asked. "Oh, nothing honey. Mommy is just joking with daddy", Carol said and kissed her daughters on their cheeks. "I hope so", Doug answered and took a sip. "Mama, thanks for your help", Carol then said to Helen. "You're welcome. Too bad I have to fly back today. You shouldn't drink that much coffee", Helen answered and Carol immediately wanted to roll her eyes but didn't. "I don't drink too much. I've been pregnant before, remember?" she smiled and took a sip of her coffee too.

"So you survived the visit of your mom?" Avery asked as she met outside with Carol to get the snow bar ready for the night. "Yeah, thank God. I mean…it wasn't that bad, but…you don't know my mother", Carol smiled. "At least you got help. How are you, by the way?" Avery asked. She found out some weeks ago when Doug and Carol talked about it and Avery showed up. "Getting fat", Carol murmured. Avery smiled. "Oh no, you're not. As beautiful as always!" she answered. Carol looked at her and smiled. "Thanks…but really. I'm gaining weight like a cow, seriously. If this is a multiple pregnancy again, I'm quitting", she told. "Oh come on…you'll love your kids, no matter how much there are, right?" Avery asked and Carol nodded. "Of course I will. No matter what", she answered and smiled. She just couldn't image to have twins again. Of course it would be a sensation. And she would love her babies. She would love any baby she would get till an eternity. BUT AGAIN? Wow. She had this feeling. Damn.

"Hey girls…what's going on?" Jason asked as he came outside too. "Carol thinks she'll get twins again", Avery said and Jason nodded. "Yeah that would be fun", he said and laughed. "Not so funny", Carol murmured and shook her head. "Well, Doug knows how to do it", Jason chuckled and Avery punched him on his arm. "Yeah, but Doug isn't the one who has to give birth", Carol smiled. "But I wish I could help you with that", she heard him behind her and she turned around. "Hah, yeah, of course…liar", Carol said to him and Doug shrugged his shoulders, before he put his arm around her. He would be happy with every baby but he didn't really think about it…yet.

"Will it be loud?" Tess asked as she saw all the rockets Doug and Jason prepared for midnight. "A little bit maybe", Doug answered. "Don't worry Tess. They're cool", Casey said and handed his father another rocket. "Awesome, can we try out one?" Kate asked excited. "Yeah, let's try one!" Casey jumped up and down. So Doug lit one of the rockets and everybody looked up. The rocket exploded in every different color and sparkled in the clear Seattle night. "Oooh, amazing!" Tess said and clapped her hands. "Wait until midnight!" Doug whispered to her and kissed her cheek.

"3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The rockets arrived at the sky and showed off their beautiful colors and sounds. The kids jumped and clapped their hands. "Happy new year, love", Carol said as she put her hands around Doug's neck. "Happy new year, love…to another great one", he answered and kissed her passionately.

If they only knew how great it would be…

**January 13****th**

"Let's make a bet. If I'm really pregnant with twins again, I'm going to get sex every second night. Well, until I'm too fat to have sex. Also, I want you to make dinner twice a week…at least", Carol smiled at Doug as they were on the way to Diane. "Wait…you want sex every second night?" Doug chuckled. "And dinner", Carol said. "We do have sex every second night…or…more often", Doug said and Carol laughed. "Really funny, Doug", she answered, shaking her head. "Okay. We can't make a deal with this, or do you want to say you're frustrated because we have to less sex?" Doug asked. "No honey. I'm seriously not frustrated. Hormones. I could eat you right now", Carol answered smiling. "Man…too bad we're on the way to get an ultrasound…" Doug chuckled and put his hand on her knee. "Well, we still have tonight and tomorrow and…every day", Carol smiled and put her hand on Doug's hand.

"Hey you two! Wow Carol, good looking there!" Diane smiled as Carol and Doug arrived at her office. Carol made a face. "No kidding, right?" she asked and sat down beside Doug. "She thinks we'll have twins again", Doug said to Diane who looked at them with questioning eyes. Diane chuckled. "That's totally possible, but I let's say we take a look, okay?" Diane said and wanted to get up from her seat. "Wait Diane…" Carol said and Diane sat down again. "What if I'm really pregnant with twins? Will there be any risks? I mean…I almost had a hysterectomy when I had Kate", she asked. "Of course there are always risks with multiple births but they're five now, right? I mean, that's a long time to recover for your uterus. You seem really fine to me, so when you take things slowly and come to your check up regularly, there won't be a problem. You have been pregnant with twins before, so you know you can't to a lot of work in the end stage right?" Diane asked smiling and Carol nodded. "Don't remind me. I felt like a stranded wale. I couldn't even see my weight on the scale", Carol chuckled and Doug smiled.

Another thing he missed. He could've been there to support her, to help her. He could've been there to hold her hand when she gave birth. He could've saved Kate. But sadly he wasn't there. But now, now he'd do all of that. He'd help Carol with everything he could…even if he had to be castrated.

"Alright, ready for the ultrasound?" Diane asked and Carol took a deep breath. "Do I have a choice?" she laughed and got finally up from her seat. "Yeah, let's see if I'll still be a man afterwards…" Doug chuckled and followed the women. "What?" Diane asked surprised. "Well, my beautiful wife said she would castrate me if she was pregnant with twins again", Doug told her and Diane nodded. "Heard that before", she answered and put on her gloves.

"Okay, here we go…oh wow, steady heartbeat", Diane said as soon as she put the ultrasound scanner on Carol's stomach. Carol smiled as she looked on the screen and saw her baby. Doug chuckled and put his hand on his mouth. "Steady heartbeat number two", Diane said and Carol's smile faded away. Twins. Again. She knew it. "Hahahaha Doug, sorry for your eggs", Diane laughed but Doug shook his head. "I think I'll keep them…take a look again", he said and Carol looked at him. No way. No freaking way. She saw it, but she wasn't really sure. "Number one…number two…" Diane said again and changed the scanner to another angle. "And number three", Doug said and pointed to the third heartbeat on the monitor. "Triplets? Seriously?" Carol asked and let her head fall back on the bed. "Positive. High Score, I'd say", he chuckled and Carol closed her eyes. Triplets. Wow. "Congrats guys, this is amazing!" Diane smiled and cleaned Carol's stomach. "Thanks", Carol said and got up from the bed. "Doug…triplets…can you believe that?" she asked and put her hands around Doug's neck. Doug chuckled. "I don't know what to say", he answered and shook his head slightly. "High Score, I'd say", Carol chuckled and kissed him passionately.

* * *

**AN**: Wow! Did you expect that? I thought it's fun. Twins, triplets and the next ones will be quads...but not in my story :P lol


	24. Chapter 24

**The One Thing We Got**

**January 13****th****, after the news**

"Triplets…I can't believe it. Three. Babies. At. Once." Carol said really excited as they left the hospital but then stopped. Triplets. "Doug…three babies at once", she added and turned around to him. Doug chuckled and put his hands around her waist. "I know", he said and smiled. "Three…do you know what that means?" Carol asked. "Three beautiful, healthy, amazing babies. I'm so happy. I could hug the whole world right now!" Doug said excited. Carol nodded and looked down. "Carol…what…what's going on?" Doug asked and cupped her chin so she could look at him again. "What?" he asked silently. "Three little babies…infants…are we going to handle this, Doug?" she asked concerned. "Of course we are going to handle this. I'm here, Care. I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you alone", Doug answered and smiled at her. "But will you still love me, when I get big? I'll…man, I'll be bigger than a whale…will you still be here then?" she asked again and looked directly in his eyes. Doug smiled once again and instead of answering, he just kissed her. After the kiss, Carol giggled. "Again…I'm not going anywhere. I won't say more", Doug said and put his arm around her as they made their way to the car.

And still Carol asked herself, how they would manage twin girls AND triplets…

* * *

"No…Mom…I'm…" "Carol…you have to step down. Triplets…you almost had a hysterectomy when you had Kate. I don't want to lose you…or you might lose the babies", Helen said concerned. Carol closed her eyes. "Mama, calm down please. I'm fine. I'm not doing anything I shouldn't do. Okay? Are you listening?" Carol answered. "Yes. I am happy for you. I'm…I'm…" "Mama, please don't cry okay?" Carol asked and felt her own tears forming in her eyes. "I'm…I'm proud of you. Please call again", Helen answered and hung up immediately. Carol closed her eyes and shook her head with a smile. Her mom was amazing. No matter how often they had their differences…Carol loved her mother.

She then dialed the next number. "Sarah Ross", Sarah picked up the phone. "Hi Sarah, this is Carol", Carol answered smiling. "Aw honey, hello…how are you?" Sarah asked excited. Carol then wished her mother could once be like that. "I'm good…actually, we have some great news to tell", Carol smiled. "Oh my God…are you pregnant again?" Sarah asked. "I am…and…you can never guess what we found out today", Carol answered still smiling. "What, twins again?" "Triplets", Carol said and waited for Sarah's reaction. "No…you're kidding, right?" Sarah asked. "No kidding. We saw it at the ultrasound exam today. I can send you a picture, if you want", Carol answered. "OH MY GOD! This…this…wow…I…congratulations, Carol! Are you okay? I mean, are there any risks?" Sarah asked now getting concerned. "I'm okay. Everything looks fine. They're developing great so far…and risks…of course I have to slow down with everything, but right now everything seems totally fine." "Carol, please, call me if you need any help. Please, I…I'll come right away okay?" Sarah said. "Thank you so much, Sarah. You can come anytime you want. I'm always home anyway and I'm sure your son and your grandchildren would be happy too", Carol answered smiling. Sarah has always been such a nice person. "That'd be great, but I think I'll come when it gets warmer again okay? But thanks for telling me the news. I wish you all the best. Say hello to Tess and Kate and Doug of course", Sarah answered. "I will. Doug is outside with the girls, building a snowman. Kate looks like a snowman herself…" Carol laughed. "Carol…you make him so happy. It's good that you found together again", Sarah said and sighed. Again, Carol felt the tears in her eyes again. "I…he makes me happy too. I love him and I never stopped loving him. And now…wow, I can't even believe that we'll have three babies at once…oh, you have to come as soon as possible. I don't want anybody to see me when I'm fat", Carol laughed. "Oh honey, I bet you'll be as beautiful as always", Sarah laughed. "Oh, I have to go now. Carol, as I said, call me if you need any help. Thanks for calling and…congrats!" Sarah said. "Thanks Sarah. We'll talk soon. Bye", Carol said and hung up.

As soon as she put her cell phone away, Avery showed up at the front door. "Hey Ave", Carol smiled and opened the door before Avery could ring the doorbell. "Saw me coming?" Avery smiled and Carol nodded. "Yeah, I was on the phone and staring out of the window…want some coffee?" Carol asked and helped Avery out of her coat. "Would be great, yeah…sooooo, how was the appointment?" Avery asked as she followed Carol into the kitchen. Carol started the coffee machine and turned around again. "You won't believe me", she answered smiling and got two cups out of the kitchen closet. "No way…are you really pregnant with twins again?" Avery smiled and shook her head. Carol shook her head too. "No? What then? Come on, tell me", Avery begged. Carol handed her a cup of coffee and held three fingers up in the air. "Triplets? You're kidding", Avery said, not believing her. "No kidding. Wait…I have a proof", Carol laughed and went to look for her bag. Finally she found the ultrasound picture and handed it to Avery. "See…here we have a great view of three little, healthy babies", Carol smiled and Avery's mouth stayed open. "Can't believe it…my God…three…Holy Ghost! How are you feeling about it? I'd freak out…" Ave asked, still staring at the picture. "Believe me, I'm freaking out…I…I think I haven't realized it yet and yet I'm so happy", Carol said shrugging her shoulders. "No matter what…I'll help if you need anything", Avery answered. Carol smiled and went to her. "Thank you so much…this means a lot to me", she said and hugged her. God, was she happy to have such good friends and so much help from everybody.

* * *

"This doesn't really look like babies…" Tess murmured when she took a look at the ultrasound picture. Carol chuckled. "I know honey…but they will look like babies when they get taller", she answered and stroke over her daughters cheek. "Mommy, I don't understand this", Tess said. "What?" Carol asked. "Why are there three?" Tess asked and looked at her mother. "Well…you know that some mothers only get one baby. Some mothers get two at once or three at once or even four at once…it's like fate wants it", Carol answered. "Still don't get it…" Tess murmured and went away, scratching her head. "Man…it's because mommy wanted to have a baby so badly and because she is so nice she got three!" Kate then said and shook her head because of her sister. "Yeah, that's why", Carol chuckled again. Her daughters were just plain perfect. "So when you get three babies, can we get a dog?" Kate asked and Carol looked at her. How did her daughter come up with that topic? "A dog? No Kate. That's not possible", Carol said. "But why not? Please mommy", Kate made a puppy dog face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that. We won't have time for a dog. Three babies are a lot of work and mommy and daddy will be busy…and I'll need your help too…do you understand this?" Carol answered and snuggled closer to Kate, who crawled on Carol's lap. "What about a cat?" Kate then asked. Carol smiled. "Baby…again, no. Remember, your sister is allergic to cats. Do you remember our vacation in Michigan? There was a cat and Tess was always sneezing", Carol remembered and Kate nodded her head. "Maybe we can have a dog when you and the babies are older but right now we don't have time for it", Carol said. "Okay", Kate said sadly and laid her head on Carol's shoulder. "Where will the babies sleep?" Kate then asked and looked up again. "I guess we need to set the guest room up", Carol smiled and stroke over Kate's head. Kate nodded her head. "Yeah, I think that's okay", she answered and yawned then. "Okay…let's get you ready for bed", Carol said and Kate crawled down her lap again.

* * *

Later that night Carol fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie. Doug was finally ready with his work he had done in his office at home. When he found her asleep on the couch he smiled. He watched her for a moment and let the past months pass through his thoughts. It was crazy how many things happened. The wedding, moving to Seattle, the baby they lost and now triplets. Doug was definitely the luckiest guy in the whole world. He was married to the woman he loved and had two healthy, beautiful daughters and although he lived four years without them, he always knew that he could be with them one time. Tess and Kate meant everything to him. He always wanted to be a father and he'd go through fire for them. At first he was always afraid that he could be like Ray and well…it really felt this way the first years of their life. He wasn't there for them. He wasn't even a father but now he was and he was so proud of his girls. He wanted to make everything right. Oh he so couldn't wait for the babies to arrive…

Carol smirked in her sleep and Doug went to her. "Hey", he whispered and stroke over her cheek. "Hm…" she murmured without opening her eyes. "It's late…let's go to sleep", he whispered again and kissed her cheek. "Good idea", Carol answered and finally opened her eyes. "Hey", Doug said again and smiled. "Hey", Carol said and smiled at him too. "I'll just take a quick shower and then I'll come to bed okay?" Doug then said and Carol nodded before she sat up. "Okay. Did you finish?" she asked and he nodded. "Finally. I'll bring it to the hospital tomorrow morning so Dr. Vandini can finish his statement", he told Carol. "Alright. Maybe you can bring some fresh bread for breakfast then", she answered and got up from the couch. "Good idea. Meet you in bed", Doug said and put his hands around her waist. "Mhm…can't wait", Carol said in a hoarse voice and kissed him shortly.

Doug took a glimpse in the twins' room before he went to the bathroom. Both were sleeping heavily. Being outside all afternoon really knocked them down. Smiling, he closed the door and then finally turned on the water in the shower.

When he walked in, he closed his eyes and let the hot water ran down his body. He was working all evening on that damn project. Finally he was ready and finally he could enjoy a whole day with his family. Tess and Kate wanted to go sledding with Casey and Carey and Carol wanted to take a walk around the lake. Last winter he didn't even want to leave the house. This year was so much better.

Doug finally finished in the bathroom and went out to find a reading Carol in bed. "Hah…finally I caught you with your glasses", he chuckled and Carol made a face. "Yeah…can't read without them", she answered and put the book away. "You look sexy with them", Doug said and Carol shook her head. "And you look sexy with that towel around your waist", she chuckled. "I don't. Look at me…you're cooking to good as you can see. I need to start my workout again", Doug answered and stroked over his stomach. "What can I say? I'll be a whale soon…" Carol murmured. "You'll be beautiful. You carry three babies and no matter what…you'll always be beautiful", Doug said, crawled under his blanket and then kissed Carol slowly. "I'm scared", she then whispered and looked at him. "Why?" Doug asked. "It's risky after I almost had a hysterectomy…I'm scared I lose the babies again. I'm scared I'll die", Carol answered and bit her lip. "That won't happen. Diane said that everything looks fine. I saw that everything looks fine. Our babies are developing great and…you seem fine too, as I can see", Doug smiled a little and put his hand on her stomach. "They'll be fine. Healthy, beautiful, unique and…I can't wait to hold them in my hands. To see them for the first time. To be here when they make their first breath. And I won't let anything happen to you. We're fighters, right?" he added and Carol finally nodded. "Right…also, I can't leave you alone with five kids", she smiled and turned to him again. "Oh wow…did you ever imagine that we'd have five kids once?" Doug asked and Carol shook her head. "Nope…I mean…I didn't even imagine having twins. And now triplets…I don't know how it will be but I'm really excited too. I'm…I'm glad you're here", she said and stroke over Doug's cheek. "I'm glad too. I…I missed so much in Tess' and Kate's life but I'm so happy to be a father to them now. And I'm happy that I can be a father to our babies", Doug said and then Carol kissed him. "You're a wonderful father. The girls adore you!" she smiled and Doug smiled too. "I love them. And I love you", Doug said. "I love you too. And now let's go to sleep…we have a long day ahead tomorrow", Carol answered and turned around to turn off the night lamp. "Wait…didn't you have something in mind this morning?" Doug chuckled and hugged her from behind, starting to kiss her cheek and shoulder. "Hm…I did, you're right…but I'm really tired after that nap in the living room…" Carol answered and turned around to Doug again. "No way…you can't escape now", Doug said and kissed her. "Yeah well…show me what you've got", Carol then answered chuckling. "My pleasure", Doug answered and disappeared with her into this night.

* * *

**AN**: Stay tuned! Triplets time coming up!


	25. Chapter 25

**Tell me your name**

**February 28th**

Tess and Kate really were on a crazy mood lately. They were laughing, screaming, crying and running around in the house. "Girls…please. Mommy is really tired today. Can't you behave for one day, please?" Carol whined but the girls were gone already. How would that be with five kids? "My God…I'm going to quit", she said to herself when she took a seat on the couch. Then she felt it. Kicks. Some kicks in her stomach. God, that felt so good. Her babies made a sign. "Doug!" Carol called out loud and put her hand on her stomach. "Girls, be quiet now and get daddy…quickly!" she then shouted to her kids and it was silent afterwards.

"What? Are you okay?" Doug hesitated as he entered the living room with his wet boots and the warm winter jacket. "God Doug, you mess up the whole house!" Carol said annoyed and made a face. Doug took a deep breath. "Man, I thought you were hurt or something, Tess and Kate almost cried when they went outside to get me!" Doug answered as annoyed. Carol smiled. "Come here", she said and put her hand out to him. He took it and went to her. Carol laid his hand on her stomach and his eyes lit up as he took a seat beside her. "Oh wow", he said and smiled from one ear to the other. "The fourth month and already I can feel them", Carol smiled and stroke over Doug's fingers. "This is amazing", Doug said and Carol saw that he had watery eyes. She leaned forward to kiss him and to stroke over his cheek. "They seem really active, don't they", Carol then chuckled as she felt some kicks again. "Seems so..." Doug chuckled and laid his ear on her stomach to hear anything. "Hey babies…this is your daddy speaking. Will you be soccer players?" he chuckled and Carol smiled as she stroke over his hair.

Doug was so overwhelmed by this and these only were their first kicks. It was amazing. He felt so much love at this moment and he knew that this love could only grow from day to day.

Carol was so happy for Doug to be here, to feel this. She remembered the moment when she felt Tess' and Kate's kicks for the first time and that nobody was there to share this moment with her. Now she could share everything with him and that made her more than happy.

"I just hope they'll be better kids than our girls. Are they outside now?" Carol asked and Doug looked at her again. "Yeah…playing in the snow with the boys", Doug smiled. Carol nodded and closed her eyes. "Now go wipe that floor", she murmured without moving. Doug chuckled. "Yes, sir", he saluted and got up from the couch again.

**March 24th**

"Wow, look…you can see their noses already!" Carol smiled and pointed on the screen. "And the fingers", Doug added smiling. "I could also tell you gender already if you want", Diane said and looked at the couple. "Yes", Carol said. "No", Doug said. Carol looked at him. "Really? You want to be surprised? We have to find three names. Would be easier if we know the gender already", Carol mentioned. "I know, but…I…I really want to be surprised", Doug answered and while they were discussing this, Diane already saw the gender of the babies. "Okay. Alright…then we'll let us surprise", Carol said and shrugged her shoulders. "Well…I could always go out so you can take a look if you want", Doug smiled. "No. You don't really think that I could keep the secret? No", Carol answered. So Diane turned off the monitor and cleaned Carol's stomach. "Okay, I won't say anything. The babies look fine. One of them seems a little bit smaller than the other two, but they have a steady heartbeat and a good position", Diane assured them and Carol smiled.

* * *

"So we have to find at least six names", Carol said on the way home. "Right. Three boy names, three girl names", Doug answered. Carol took a deep breath. This was going to be a very hard decision. "Dou you have one in mind already?" Carol then asked. "Only one but I don't know if you like it", Doug answered. Carol looked at him. Doug didn't say anything. "Tell me", Carol begged. "Angie", he answered smiling. "Angie…like in Angela?" Carol asked. Doug shook his head. "Angelina", he said. Carol thought about it for a moment. "Angelina Ross. Yeah…not bad", she answered. "But not your favorite, right?" Doug asked. "Well…we still have some months to think about it", Carol answered smiling.

**June 30th**

"Tess…baby, can you give me the TV magazine please?" Carol sighed as she went into the living room with her already big stomach in front of her, not able to bend down. "Sure mom", Tess answered and handed her the TV magazine. "Will the babies come out soon?" Tess then asked. "Next month", Carol murmured and sat down on the couch. She would get a c-section on July 18th because a normal birth wasn't possible with triplets. Carol was already afraid but then again, she wasn't afraid because of a hysterectomy; five kids were enough. Also, they would come out one month too early because Carol wouldn't survive another month with three kids in her stomach. Bad thing was that they still didn't have decided on the names.

"Okay…I've made a list. Ready to hear the names?" Doug asked as he came into the living room with a piece of paper in his hand. "Sure…don't have anything better to do", Carol murmured and made a face. "One month Care…and then everything will be over", Doug smiled but Carol made a face again. "Of course. Only a decade to lose all that weight again. By the way…did you eat the rest of the ice cream?" Carol asked. "Hm…could be. Sorry. Ready for the names?" Doug asked and Carol nodded.

"Angie, Emery and Joy for the girls. Daniel, Nicholas and Ethan for the boys", Doug read out loud and then looked at Carol.

She thought about it for a moment. "You don't like them…" Doug murmured and Carol shrugged her shoulders. "I like Emery and Ethan", she answered smiling. "Yeah well, we'll have three babies…" Doug answered and took a seat beside her. "I know. I'm…I know it's mainstream, but why don't we decide on three names starting with the same letter?" Carol asked. "Sure, why not, but it will be difficult", Doug answered and leaned back. "They need something special…they are special", Carol said and Doug nodded smiling.

"Emery and Ethan start with the same letter", Tess said who overheard all of the conversation. "Right baby…do you like these names?" Carol asked and Tess made a face. "Not really", she answered and went back to her drawing. "Not a big help there…" Doug murmured and Carol nodded. "I'd say we go into ourselves once again and write a list and we decide afterwards", Carol suggested and Doug nodded. "Kate and me too?" Tess asked. "Sure, I'll help you with writing the names down", Carol smiled. "By the way, where is Kate?" Doug asked and got up from the couch again. "She's upstairs", Tess answered without looking up from her paper. "They had a fight", Carol told Doug who looked at her and nodded.

**June** **31st**

"Okay, let's present your lists!" Carol said when she took a seat at the kitchen table. Tess, Kate and Doug laid theirs down immediately. "Okay, let's see", Carol said and started to read all the names.

Kate's list:

Jeremy Kate Casey Drew  
Jamie

"Well…thank you for your list, baby", Carol smiled at her daughter who smiled back at her. "Kindergarten friends?" Doug asked and Carol nodded. "Also, we can't name a baby Kate, so I'll cross this one out", she added and crossed the name out.

Tess' list:

Amy Erin Barbie Elena

"No boy names…" Doug murmured and Tess nodded. "Because mommy should get only girls", Tess answered and Carol smiled.

Doug's list:

Emery, Erin, Emily, Ethan, Liam, Noah

"Hey…not bad! Did you google them?" Carol asked. "Yes and there are hundreds more. These are just the ones I really like", Doug answered smiling. "The boy names don't start with the same letter…" Carol said and looked at Doug again. "I know. This is too hard…" Doug answered and Carol nodded. "Now let me see your list", Doug then said and took Carol's list in his hands.

Carol's list:

Iris, Dakota, Willow, Alexis, Romy – girl names  
Brady, Mason, Baxter, Cruz – boy names

"Not starting with the same letter, Misses", Doug repeated Carol and she nodded smiling. "As you said…too hard", Carol smiled. "I really like the names", Doug answered and read her list again. "Really?" she asked and he nodded. "Maybe we can combine them somehow…Tess and Kate both have a second name", Doug suggested. "Good idea. So…let's take a look", Carol said and everybody laid their list down again.

"You really like Erin, don't you…I see it on your list and on Tess' list", Carol said to Doug. "Can we go now?" Kate asked who got bored already. "Of course hun, but don't be mad when we don't take one of your names", Carol answered and Kate nodded. "I really like Dakota", Kate answered and Carol smiled. A moment later Tess and Kate ran out of the living room door to the garden.

"Dakota Erin Ross", Carol said to herself. "Why not Erin Dakota Ross?" Doug asked. "Because you got to name our first daughter, Mark got to name our second daughter, now it's my turn", Carol said and wrote down the first name. "Okay, okay. Next one…Emery Iris Ross" Doug said and Carol looked up at him again. "That's beautiful", she said and wrote it down too. "We are good", she smiled then and kissed him shortly. "We are…" he answered chuckling. "Okay…third one…Elena Alexis Ross?" Carol asked. "Kate won't be amused", Doug answered and looked at the lists again. "Elena Jamie Ross", he then said and Carol smiled. "Sounds good", she answered and wrote it down.

"Liam Cruz Ross", Carol said and Doug nodded. "Mason Noah Ross", Doug then said and Carol wrote it down again. "And the last one…Ethan Brady Ross…what do you think?" Carol asked smiling. "I think we are the name masters", he chuckled. Carol touched his cheek and kissed him again. "I love you", she whispered. "Love you too", Doug answered.

Dakota Erin Ross  
Emery Iris Ross  
Elena Jamie Ross

Liam Cruz Ross  
Mason Noah Ross  
Ethan Brady Ross

Now nothing stood in the way for the birth…

* * *

**AN:** Like the names? I used Google to find some and that's what came out! Ready for the birth? Stay tuned!


	26. Chapter 26

**AN: **shoutout to GOODWIFEFAN, thanks for your wonderful review!

* * *

**Breathe your gift of Love to me**

**July 17th**

The whole house was full of baby stuff. Three little, nice decorated cribs were standing in the spare room, which would be the bedroom for the triplets. Avery had some baby clothes from her boys left which she gave Carol. The cupboard was full with packs of diapers and Tess and Kate gave away some soft toys for their siblings. Doug and Carol did a lot of shopping for the triplets until Carol got too big to do anything.

She was lying in her bed and couldn't even see her own toes. The babies inside of her took her last nerve. Just one week before she had her last ultrasound exam and the babies looked fine, but really active already. Too less space for three babies. She couldn't wait to have them. Not only because she was more than exhausted, but also because she couldn't wait to hold her babies in her hand. "Care?" she then heard and focused on Doug again. "Hm?" she asked. "I asked you if you want to take these too", Doug said and showed her some sexy underwear. "Very funny, Doug", Carol smirked and tried to get up a little. Doug chuckled and almost jumped into the bed. "I'm excited", he said and put his hand on Carol's stomach. "I can see that", Carol chuckled and looked at him. "I'm nervous. And excited, of course…they'll be a lot of work, I'm sure", she smiled and Doug nodded. "They'll keep us busy", he sighed and looked at Carol again. Just when he wanted to kiss her, Tess and Kate came running into their bedroom.

"Mommy, we painted you a picture", Kate said and handed her the piece of paper to her mother. Tess crawled on the bed. "This is daddy, this is you, this is Kate, this is me, and these are the babies", she explained to Carol. "Aww babies, that's so sweet! Did you paint that in kindergarten?" Carol asked and Tess nodded. "It's beautiful, thank you! Give mommy a kiss", Carol then said and Tess kissed her, as well as Kate. "Mommy? When they get the babies out, will you be hurt again?" Kate then asked as she took a seat in Doug's lap. "Oh honey, don't worry too much. I won't feel anything when they get the babies out", Carol explained. "Okay…and we don't have to go to kindergarten tomorrow?" Kate then asked and Carol laughed. "No honey…you don't have to go to kindergarten tomorrow. Tomorrow will be triplets' day", she chuckled. "That means we can't go swimming…" Tess said to Kate who made a face. "Yeah well, maybe you can go swimming with your grandmothers the next days", Doug answered and Carol chuckled. "What?" he asked. "Do you really think that they'll ever leave the hospital?" Carol asked and Doug shrugged his shoulders.

* * *

"Just call if you need anything okay?" Avery said as Doug brought the twins who stayed with the Lawrence family this night. "I will; thank you. The girls should go to bed early because they have been a pain in the ass this afternoon", Doug answered and Avery smiled. "We'll manage that, don't worry. Oh, and call me immediately when the babies are here", she answered. "I will", Doug said and wiped his hands on his jeans. "Oh come here", Avery said and hugged him. "It will be okay. Don't worry", Avery said and stroke over Doug's back. "I know…I'm just really, really excited", Doug answered as they separated again. "Want a beer before you go?" Jason asked who came around the corner. "Ah, no thanks. We have to go soon. We could drink one tomorrow, to celebrate", Doug answered and Jason nodded. "Of course. Good luck, buddy", Jason said and hugged him too. "Thanks guys…alright, I gotta go. I'll call. Thanks guys", Doug babbled and smiled. "Tell Carol we'll visit her sometime the next days", Avery said and Doug nodded before he left again.

Damn, he was nervous. Excited, but nervous. He would be a father of five kids soon. Doug couldn't wait to hold that babies in his hand, to hear their crying for the first time, to feel their soft skin. Two years ago he wouldn't even have dreamt to be a father again. He didn't even know the twins, for God's sake. Tomorrow he'd be father of five kids. Smiling, he ran his hands through his hair and shook his head. Five kids.

Oh, he was in love. He was in love with Carol since the day he entered County for the first time. He didn't realize it back then, but today he knew that she was his soul mate, the love of his life. She didn't even have to do anything; he just loved her the way she was. Carol was so beautiful, intelligent, romantic and fun. He loved to hear her laughter. Well, he loved everything about her.

When he entered the bedroom, he bent down to her and stroke over her cheek. Carol opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Ready to go?" he asked and Carol managed somehow to get up. "I don't really have a choice, do I?" she chuckled and Doug helped her up. "You don't. Are you okay?" he asked and put his hands on her stomach. "I'm tired…exhausted…fat…and excited. I'm glad you're here", she answered smiling. "I'm glad too", he smiled and kissed her shortly. Carol took his hand in hers and was ready to begin their future.

**July 18th**

Doug didn't sleep any minute. Carol was sleeping so peacefully and he only watched her all night. The more time went by the more nervous he got. He just hoped that everything would be okay with Carol and his babies. It had to be okay. Suddenly the door went open. "Hey Dr. Ross", Steph whispered who came in with a cup of coffee. "Hey Steph…what are you doing here so early?" he asked. She handed him the cup and sat down. "Well, I knew that today is the day and I knew you'd be here, so I wanted to say hello and good luck. I have to work anyway", Stephanie answered. Doug smiled. "Thank you", he answered and looked at her. "How are you, Steph? We didn't get to talk lately", Doug then said. "Oh, I'm in love and feeling so good", Stephanie answered and smiled. "Wait, I have a picture of him on my cell phone", she added and showed him a picture. "His name is Mark", she told him. Doug smiled. "Is he good to you?" he then asked and Stephanie nodded. "He is. We talk a lot and he's so gently, so nice. He's a good man", she answered. Doug then leaned back and smiled again. "I see…you're really in love and I'm happy for you. I hope you'll invite me to your wedding", he chuckled. "You'll be the first one", Steph answered smiling. "Okay…I'll leave you alone now. Good luck and…well, have fun with the babies", she chuckled and got up from her seat again. "Thanks Steph", Doug said and got up to hug her.

Right when Stephanie left the room, Carol woke up. "Good morning", Doug said and smiled at her. Carol turned around. "Good morning. How late is it?" she asked and Doug looked at his clock. "6:45…we have 15 minutes left", Doug smiled. "Oh no. I want to have a PDA. I don't want to sleep while they do the c-section", Carol hesitated. "Alright Care…I'll ask the anesthetist what he can do", Doug answered and got out of the room.

Oh damn she was nervous. So freaking nervous. Today she would give birth to her babies. These 8 months went by so quickly. Again she closed her eyes and let them past through her thoughts.

She remembered the ultrasound when they found out about the triplets. She remembered the first kicks she felt. She remembered Doug talking with her stomach. She remembered the shopping she did with Doug and how excited he was. How would their life be with the twins and the triplets? It would be the most exciting life ever…for sure.

When she opened her eyes again, Diane showed up in the room. "Hey Carol…Doug told me you want to have a PDA?" she asked and Carol nodded. "I do…and I know the risks", Carol smiled. "Alright. We'll manage that", Diane smiled back. "Where's Doug?" Carol then asked. "Oh, he's kinda nervous, running up and down outside", Diane laughed and Carol chuckled.

* * *

"Starting with the cut now", Diane said and put the scalpel on Carol's stomach. Carol's heart was racing like hell and she squeezed Doug's hand so tight that she might break his bones. She was only minutes away to see the first of three babies. "You okay?" Doug asked who was probably as nervous as she was. He didn't even focus on anything else except Carol's open stomach. "Feeling okay…don't worry. What do you see?" she asked. Doug couldn't see anything. "First baby is out", Carol then heard Diane and she looked at Doug. His eyes…god, she wished she could remember this moment forever. "We have a boy, Carol", he chuckled and wiped away a tear that ran down Carol's cheek and kissed her quickly. Only moments later the baby let out a strong and loud cry. Doug looked at his son. "Go look at him", Carol smiled and Doug went to the baby.

His son. He had a son. Doug couldn't explain the feeling he felt in this moment. He couldn't breathe or smile, or talk. "Congratulations, Doug", he heard a nurse and then he finally smiled. "Is he okay?" he asked and the nurse nodded. His boy was so small but already so beautiful. "Can I?" he asked and the nurse handed Doug a blanket. "Oh God…you're…man, welcome on board, Mister", Doug said and he couldn't hold back his tears anymore when he touched the little hands of his son, then his little nose and his soft cheeks.

Carol watched him and cried silent tears. This was a magic moment. This was beyond description. "Meet our perfect son", Doug said as he came to Carol with the little baby in his hand. Carol looked at her baby and sobbed. "Hey baby…hey there", she whispered and snuggled her head closer to her baby. Too bad she couldn't touch him right now. "We need to finish him now", the nurse said and Doug then handed the boy to her. "Oh boy…" he chuckled and went to Carol again. "Oh boy indeed", Carol chuckled and smiled at Doug. "Sorry, do you have decided on a name already?" the nurse then asked who came back with the chart. "Liam Cruz Ross", Doug smiled and the nurse nodded.

"Number two is out…beautiful and healthy", Diane said and handed the baby to the nurse. "A girl…we have another girl!" Doug said excited and looked at Carol again. "Oh…Tess will be happy", she chuckled and bit her lip again, as the tears came back. "Doug…let me see her", she then said to Doug who went to his new born daughter. The baby was moaning and kicking like a boss already. "Welcome little bee", Doug whispered and kissed the baby slowly before he picked her up again. Then the little girl let out a loud scream. "Sounds like you scare her already", Diane chuckled and the whole OR was laughing. Carol shook her head slightly. Damn, she got tired. "Hello little princess", she said and kissed the girl too, not wanting to let her go. "Dakota?" Doug asked and Carol shook her head. "No…she doesn't look like a Dakota…she looks like an Emery", Carol answered silently and closed her eyes smiling. "Emery Iris Ross", Doug repeated and the nurse nodded.

"Carol…we're almost done. Are you okay?" Diane then asked and Doug went to Carol again. "I'm tired", she murmured and had a hard time to open her eyes. "One unit of 0 negative again", Diane ordered and then Doug got really nervous. Carol didn't open her eyes anymore. Her blood pressure seemed fine. "Carol…stay with me. Please…come on", Doug begged and bent down to her. "She'll stay, don't worry", Diane said. "Do you hear everything?" Doug asked and looked over the sheet in front of Carol's face. "I do…I have perfect ears", she chuckled and then Carol opened her eyes again. "Good…welcome back to the party", Doug smiled and kissed her forehead. "And finally, number three", Diane said and Doug took a look again. "Another boy, it's a boy again, Carol!" Doug almost freaked out. "And number four…" Diane said and Doug turned around her really quickly. "Just kidding", Diane chuckled and again, the whole OR laughed. "Oh man…" Carol chuckled and a happy tear ran down her cheek again. "Oh son…you're so small", Doug whispered to his second boy and cleaned him a little bit. "Yeah, he's the poor one…didn't get as much as his siblings", Diane said who now was finishing Carol. "But he seems fine…just a little bit smaller", she added. "Come on, let me hear your crying", Doug said smiling and stroke over the little baby's cheek with his small finger. The boy immediately started to suck on it. "He's hungry…" Doug chuckled and then the boy let out a loud cry. "Aww baby I wish I could feed you already", Carol said as Doug came to her with the boy in his hands. "Mason", she whispered and snuggled close to her baby too. "Oh, he's really hungry", Carol sobbed chuckling as little Mason started to suck on her nose. "We'll feed them later", the nurse smiled who took the baby away again.

Now it really sucked to lay here. She wanted to hold her babies, to kiss them, to feed them, just feel them. "How does her uterus look?" Doug asked Diane. "Perfectly fine. You can have more babies", Diane smiled again. "No…no, no, no. Not with me. I'm done", Carol chuckled and closed her eyes again. "Yeah, I think we're done now", Doug answered and took a deep breath. His babies were perfect. He couldn't wait to introduce them to Tess and Kate. "I love you", he whispered into Carol's ear and wiped away a tear on his cheek. "I love you too", Carol whispered back and melted into his following kiss.

Welcome on board, Liam, Emery and Mason!


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: **Awww triplets...I know this is just a fanfic, but still I'm happy for the Hathaway-Ross family! Are you too? :)

* * *

**Baby Blues**

His little fingers touched his little nose and he smirked. Every little thing his son did excited Doug. Liam was sleeping in the incubator and no sound seemed to interrupt him. Some strains of hair grew on his head already; his eyelashes touched his cheek. He was perfect.

Emery, his little girl was a troublemaker already. She was crying again and she seemed so annoyed by all the stuff that was attached to her little body. Doug smiled a little when he looked at her beautiful little face, that he just wanted to kiss until forever. He knew that Tess would adore her little sister.

And there was Mason, his dwarf. So small but already so ready to grow and to fight. He looked so much like Liam, just as perfect. Doug put his hand through the opening and stroke over the boy's soft skin. We stroke over his little arm and when he arrived at Mason's little fingers, the baby boy immediately grabbed Doug's finger.

He felt so much love for his babies. God, they were even more than perfect. "Amazing, isn't it", Doug heard. He wiped away some happy tears on his cheeks and turned around to find Diane smiling at his babies. "More than that", he answered and got up to hug his colleague. "Thanks so much for everything", he said and stroke over Diane's back. "You're welcome. Now let me look at your babies", Diane answered and Doug proudly introduced them.

Only moments later Carol was wheeled in. Doug turned around and smiled at her. "Hey…how are you feeling?" he asked and bent down to her. "I still can't feel my legs, but except of that I'm okay and I can't wait to see our babies", she smiled. Doug stroke over her cheek and felt the tears coming back. "They are perfect, Care. They are just perfect", he answered and Carol wiped a way a tear that was running down his cheek. "I love you", she whispered and kissed him passionately. "I love you", he then answered and smiled at her.

"I think it's okay to hold Liam and Emery for some minutes", Diane said. "Oh Diane…I didn't even thank you yet…so, thank you for everything", Carol smiled. "You're welcome. It's my job", Diane answered smiling and started to detach Liam from the EKG in the incubator. Liam immediately started to cry. "Oh…it's good baby. Here, meet your mama", Diane said and handed the little boy to Carol. Again her tears came back when she put her hands around her tiny son, who started to stop when Carol laid him on her chest. She kissed his forehead and closed her eyes. Doug sat down on a chair beside her and put his hand on Liam's head, his other one around Carol's shoulders and they watched their son who now looked at them for the very first time. "He's beautiful", Carol whispered and then smiled at Doug who smiled back at her. "All three are", he answered nodding.

"Daddy, are you ready for little Emery?" Diane then asked and Doug separated from Carol. "Of course, give me my little bee", he smiled and took the baby in his arms. Gently he put his hand around Emery's head and closed his eyes to capture this feeling forever. "Liam…do you see that? Your sister is daddy's girl already", Carol whispered to her son in her arms and Doug looked at her smiling. "And your brother seems to be mommy's boy already, right Em?" Doug answered and looked at his daughter again. Carol then stroke over Emery's back with her free hand. Her skin felt so soft and she had the exact same eyes as Tess and Kate had. "How's little Mason holding up?" Carol then asked when she watched her little baby who was still sleeping in the incubator.

"His lungs and liver still need to develop fully. He's running a little fever, but we have it under control. Also he needs to gain weight but I think you can breastfeed him after this night…he's a little fighter, you can already see that", Diane answered and Carol smiled. Mason was so small and so helpless in that glass box. She wished she could hold him too and tell him that everything was going to be okay. "Swap babies now?" Doug then asked Carol and she nodded. "I love you", she whispered to Liam and kissed his cheek before she handed him to Doug and took Emery in her hands.

The little girl looked at her with her big eyes and Carol snuggled close to her baby. Doug looked at Liam and touched his little nose with his own nose. He was so proud and so happy.

Carol held out her hand to Doug and he grabbed it and looked at her. The moment was perfect.

Only some minutes later they had to give the babies back into the incubator. It was hard to leave them in there. Carol then wheeled herself to Mason and put her hand into the opening to feel him. A tube was going through his nose and he was attached to the EKG machine too. "Hey baby…mommy is here. Stay strong in there. We're here for you. We love you", she whispered and stroke over the baby's back. Some tears ran down her cheek, she just couldn't control it. Doug noticed it and bent down to her again. "He's going to be okay…don't worry too much", he said and touched Carol's knee. "I know…I just wish I could hold him too", Carol whispered back and wiped away the tears. "Soon. We'll do everything we can", Doug assured her and she nodded.

* * *

She was exhausted and tired but when she heard two excited girl voices she immediately opened her eyes. "Aww hey babies!" she smiled when she saw Tess and Kate in front of her bed. "Hey mommy!" both answered and smiled back at her. "Avery brought them here…she's coming back tomorrow", Doug said and Carol nodded smiling. "Come here girls, I wanna kiss you", Carol said and Tess and Kate came closer to Carol's bed. "I love you", Carol said and kissed first Kate and then Tess on the forehead. "We love you too but can we go see the babies now?" Kate rolled her eyes. Carol chuckled. "Of course, hun!" she answered and tried to get up from the bed. The c-section scar hurt like hell and she winced. "Everything okay? Do you want the wheelchair?" Doug asked as he got up to help her. "No, I think I can walk already…with your help", she smiled and Doug nodded.

The girls ran in front of them to the baby station. "Stop girls…we have to see if we can go in", Doug warned them and the twins stopped in front of the big window. "They're so excited", Carol smiled. "Avery said they were really nervous this morning", Doug answered. "Okay…I'll be right back", he then said as he went inside the station. "Mommy, did it hurt?" Kate asked as she turned around to Carol. "It didn't. Everything is fine…well…I think I have to stay a little bit longer in the hospital, just to recover and for the babies", Carol explained to them. "But daddy will come home, won't he", Tess asked and Carol nodded. "He will. Also, your grandmother Helen will visit in some days and grandmother Sarah will visit us tomorrow", Carol smiled. Tess and Kate nodded and turned around to the babies again. "What's taking him so long?" Kate murmured and Tess shrugged her shoulders. Only a moment later Doug put his head out of the door. "Ready to come in! Babies will get something to eat now", he said and the twins' eyes lit up.

"Meet Emery", Doug said who handed the crying little girl to Carol. Tess and Kate stood beside her and looked at their sister. "Aww she's nice…hello Emery", Tess said and stroke over the babies cheek. "Seems like she doesn't like us", Kate said who followed her sister. "Oh no, she's just hungry", Carol said and smiled at Kate. "Right…bottle number one ready", Doug said and handed Carol the bottle. Little Emery immediately started to suck on it. "Oh, and how hungry she is", Carol chuckled and looked at the twins. "Four girls versus three boys, that's okay, right?" she then asked and Tess and Kate nodded smiling.

"Liam is here", Doug then said who took a seat beside Carol and the girls turned around to him. "Hey Liam", Kate said smiling and touched Liam's little hand. "Daddy, give him the bottle, he's hungry", Tess said and Doug nodded. "Sure, sure", he answered and started to feet the baby. Carol watched him and smiled. She could feel how happy he was to be there. "Where's Mason?" Kate then asked and interrupted Carol's thoughts. "He's still sleeping. We'll finish these two first and then it's Mason's turn", Doug said and Kate nodded.

When Emery and Liam were ready with the bottles and back in the incubator, Tess and Kate watched Doug and Diane, who got Mason ready to take out. "He's so small", Tess whispered to her sister and Kate nodded. "He's cute", Kate answered smiling and now Tess nodded. "Hello girlies, my name is Mason Noah and I'm your brother", Doug said in a funny baby voice when he held Mason to the twins who started to giggle. "Hello Mason", Tess and Kate then said and then followed Doug to Carol.

Carol couldn't wait to hold Mason in her hands. "Do you think I can breastfeed him?" she asked and Doug nodded. "Of course…here you go", Doug answered and handed the little boy who now had his eyes open to Carol. "Hey…hey Mason", Carol said and stroke over the baby's cheek. Mason looked at her like he wanted to soak in the sight of his mother. Carol looked into his blue eyes and almost couldn't hold back her tears. Mason was so small and so thin and still needed some time to develop but God; she was so happy that her children were healthy. She then looked at Doug and smiled at him. Everything seemed so perfect at this moment. She had Doug, she had Tess and Kate and three beautiful, healthy new born babies.

Doug watched closely when Carol started to feed Mason. Their last born immediately knew what to do and Carol smiled when she heard the sound of her boy swallowing. Doug couldn't wish for more. His life turned from one day to the other. He was married to the woman he loved, had two wonderful twin girls and three wonderful triplets. Only two years ago he didn't even know if he'd ever get the chance to see Carol again. Now she smiled at him and he fell in love with her over and over again.

* * *

Doug yawned and rubbed his eyes as he took a seat beside Carol's bed. "Why don't you go home with the girls? You look like hell", Carol asked and took his hand in hers. "I don't want to leave", Doug answered and smiled a little. "Well, the babies will still be here tomorrow…they're in good hands here, you know that", Carol said. "Yeah, I know. It's just…I don't want to miss anything", he smiled again. Carol sat up in front of him and put her hands on his cheeks. "Doug…you won't miss anything. You need your sleep too and the girls need you too. Also, I need some time to relax too…remember, we will have a busy time when the babies will come home", Carol chuckled and then kissed him slowly. "I'm so glad you were there", she whispered and rested her head on his forehead. "I'm glad too…it was…I'll never forget this moment", Doug answered and smiled. "Believe me, me neither…and now get our daughters from the playroom and catch some sleep at home", Carol smiled and kissed him again shortly. "Alright…but you call me when you need anything, okay?" Doug answered and got up from the chair. "Of course. See you later then", Carol smiled and lay back in her bed. Doug turned around once again and went to her to kiss her. "I love you", he whispered and she smiled. "Love you too", she answered and stroke over his cheek.

* * *

He knew he wouldn't get much sleep. As soon as they arrived at home, the doorbell rang. Jason, Avery, Carey and Casey visited and wanted to know every little detail about the birth and the triplets. Doug smiled and stroke over his face as they took a seat around the dining table. "Alright…where do I start…" he murmured. "Wanna see some pictures?" he asked and everybody nodded. He started to tell everything from the beginning and proudly showed them the pictures he made from the babies.

At this moment everybody could tell that Doug was the happiest man on earth.


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: **hey followers/readers! So sorry it took me so long for an update again. Hope you're not mad at me. Love you!

* * *

**Full House**

**July 21st**

Handling three little infants seemed way much easier than handling two grandmothers at once. Of course Helen was pissed that Sarah arrived earlier and saw the triplets first. "It's not my fault that you had to visit the spa while I was giving birth to them, mama", Carol complained and sat up in her hospital bed. She couldn't wait to finally go home with her babies. Emery and Liam were sleeping peacefully in their little hospital cribs, while Mason still had to stay in the incubator. "But I could've come here earlier if you had called", Helen answered and stroke over Liam's cheek. Carol rolled her eyes. "We DID call, mama. You didn't pick up your phone", she answered annoyed. "Okay…okay. Don't get loud while they're sleeping. Such beautiful babies", Helen said and smiled at her grandchildren. Carol sighed. She couldn't wait for Doug to come. Well, it was good that Helen was here half an hour ago. Both of Carol's children started to test their lungs on the highest level. Now they were full up and beaten.

"Mom! Can you believe it? We went swimming today!" Kate squealed when she ran into the room and almost slammed the door. "Shhh honey!" Carol warned her and Kate looked at her frightened. "Sorry mom", she apologized and looked down. "Aw baby…come here and let me hug you", Carol smiled and so Kate ran to her mother to hug her. "I'm sorry", Kate murmured again. "It's okay baby. They're still asleep…" Carol said and smiled at her daughter again. Kate nodded. "Hi grandma", she then said and looked at Helen. "Good afternoon Katherine", Helen answered smiling. Kate made a face. She really didn't like to be called like that. "Oh she's definitely your daughter", Helen said and turned to the babies again. Carol shrugged her shoulders and let Kate into her bed. "Where's daddy and Tess?" she asked. "Downstairs talking to Stephanie. I got bored so I came upstairs…can we go see Mason?" Kate asked then. "Later. He's sleeping now. So, how was kindergarten?" Carol asked. In the meantime, Helen took a seat. "It was okay. Swimming was great; it's really hot outside today. Maybe we can go swimming at home too today", Kate smiled excited. Carol smiled and sighed again. She missed being at home with her daughters. "Ask your granny", she then smiled and Helen looked up. "Swimming? In the lake? That's too dangerous", Helen answered. Kate rolled her eyes. "Grandma…it's not dangerous, it's fun! You should try it", the girl answered smiling. "I…I don't know. I don't even have a bathing suit", Helen answered. "We can buy you one", Kate said and then the door went open.

"Shhhh!" Kate put her finger on her mouth to tell them to be silent. "Hey all", Doug smiled and went to his babies who were still asleep. "You missed a crying concert", Carol said and smiled when Doug bent down to kiss her. "I have a good timing", he answered then and took a seat. "Hey baby…wanna come in here too?" Carol asked Tess. "Sure", Tess answered and crawled into the bed too. "Mommy…it's so warm today", she said and sighed. "I know…but guess what, your grandmother just said she wanted to go swimming with you today", Carol smiled at Helen. Helen made a face but smiled at Tess too. "Really grandma? That's cool", Tess answered and high-fived her sister.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Come in", Carol called and the door went open. Diane came in with a loudly crying Mason in her hand. "Oh, now look who's here", Doug chuckled and Carol smiled. "He wants his mommy and something to eat", Diane smiled and handed the baby to Carol. "Thanks…oh, mommy is ready for her little pancake", Carol smiled and stroke over her baby's cheek. Mason immediately stopped to cry. "He's a mommy boy…I can see that already", Doug chuckled and touched Mason's little fingers. "Oh, he's a vampire", Carol said as Mason started to drink. Tess and Kate watched with eyes and ears. It was fascinating for them. "Also, I have good news for you. Little pancake here is ready to leave the incubator. Two days without fever, his breathing is steady and his heart rate is just fine. He lost some pounds but that's totally normal", Diane said and Carol's eyes lit up. "Aw…that's good news…did you hear that Mase?" Carol said in a baby voice and Doug looked at her. "Mase?" he asked and Carol nodded. "Mase, Em and Li", she smiled and Doug nodded. "Same rights to all our kids", he chuckled. "Can I see his chart later?" he then asked Diane and she nodded. "Of course. Susan will bring in his bed later…see you", Diane said and everybody waved at her.

**July 25th**

"Yeah baby…I know you don't like it…we're almost finished", Carol talked to her daughter who fussed because of getting dressed. Liam and Mason were awake and looking. "Look at your brothers…they're so nice today", she added and smiled at her babies. Emery didn't care. Getting dressed was the worst thing in the world.

"Mommy…let me go…let me go", Doug said in a baby voice when he came into the room with three car seats. Carol smiled. "Yay…daddy is here, now he can finish you while I start with baby number three", she answered in the same baby voice and snuggled closer to Doug who hugged her from behind. "I can't wait to take you home", he whispered into her ear and she turned around to kiss him. "Oh it will be so much fun", she said sarcastically and laughed. Doug kissed her again shortly and then looked at his daughter. "This hat is too big for her", he complained. "You should see Mase", Carol answered chuckling as she put the hat on Mason's little head. "Man…he's really a dwarf", Doug chuckled and picked up Emery who finally started to cry. "I think I have to take a picture", he said and put the baby on Carol's bed. Carol laid Mason on the bed too and Doug then picked up Liam. "How many pictures did you make already?" Carol asked when she rested her head on Doug's shoulder who made a photo of the babies. * "Just a bunch…" Doug murmured as he looked at the picture he just made. "Yeah…just a bunch", Carol chuckled shaking her head.

* * *

"Awww, babies are at home!" Avery smiled when she peaked into the living room. "Oh…you're coming just in time! I need your help", Carol sighed. She had Emery on her arm, Doug fed Mason and Liam was crying because either he was hungry or mad for getting no attention. "Oh come here little munchkin…aunt Avery is here", Avery said in a baby voice and picked little Liam up. "Man, I miss those times", she then said and took a seat beside Carol. Carol smiled and stroke over her daughter's cheek. "Wanna live with us the next three years or so? We could surely use some help", she then giggled. "Well, I'm here if you need me, you know that", Avery answered smiling and started to give Liam the bottle. "Thank you", Carol answered smiling. "What's going on with Doug?" Avery asked because Doug gave no attention. Carol looked at her husband and smiled. "He's in love…right Doug?" she answered and Doug looked up. "What? Oh, hi Avery", he said but only a second later his eyes focused on his son again. "That's so sweet", Avery giggled and Carol nodded. In fact, she fell in love with Doug more and more. She knew that he adored his kids; that he loved them and that he would go through fire for them. Carol couldn't imagine any other daddy for her children. Doug was the best daddy in the world. "I can't even remember the last time he looked at me that way…" Carol sighed and smiled at Avery. "Really? He always looks at you that way", she answered and Carol looked at her again. "He does, believe me", Avery assured her and Carol smiled again. "So…what about you? Is the baby wish coming up again?" Carol asked. Avery looked at Liam in her hands and smiled. "I don't know. I mean…since the pregnancy with Casey was so risky I'm too scared", Avery answered and sighed. "But Casey is just fine, isn't he…you could have hundreds of babies", Doug now said and Avery looked at him. "I don't know…Jason and I never talked about it", she answered. Carol looked at Avery. She could see that this topic was really hard for Avery. "Then talk about it with him", she said and Avery shrugged her shoulders. "We'll see", Avery answered and smiled a little bit. Carol then looked at the clock on the DVD-player. "Doug…you need to get the twins from kindergarten", she said and Doug looked up again. "Right…okay, Mason is ready with his bottle", Doug answered and put the baby back in the baby carrier. Mason was already asleep again. "See you later", he said, kissed Carol shortly and went outside to the car. "Did you see it?" Avery asked smiling. "See what?" Carol asked. "The look he gave you", Ave answered and focused on Liam again. Carol smiled and shook her head.

* * *

"Hi daddy!" Tess said as she ran to him and Doug bent down to hug her. "Hey Sugar…how was it?" he asked and picked her up. "Oooh you're getting too heavy", he made a voice. Tess giggled. "It was okay. Kate fell", Tess answered and put both of her hands on Doug's cheeks. "Why that?" Doug asked. "She ran with the boys", his daughter told him. Doug nodded and looked after Kate. She came out of the kindergarten with a patch on her forehead. "Peanut…what did you do?" he asked as she came to him with an annoyed look on her face. "Fell", she answered and looked down. Doug put Tess down on the floor again and bent down to Kate. "Oh come on, it isn't that bad, right?" he asked and Kate shrugged her shoulders. "The boys laughed at her", Tess whispered into Doug's ear and he nodded. "I see. Come on, let's drive home", Doug said and the three went to the car.

"Are the babies at home already?" Tess asked. "They are", Doug smiled into the back mirror. Tess' eyes lit up. Kate didn't say anything. Doug knew that her pride was injured. "Peanut…show me a smile", Doug said and Kate looked at him without smiling. "Pleeeeaaasseee", Doug begged and finally Kate smiled a little. "Next time you fall, just laugh with them, okay?" Doug said and Kate nodded but looked out of the window again.

* * *

"Hey girls", Carol called silently when they arrived at home. "Hey mommy", Tess called back and slammed her kindergarten bag into the corner. She couldn't wait to see the babies. "Where are they?" she asked. "All three asleep in their room upstairs", Carol smiled. "Be quiet!" she then called after Tess who immediately ran upstairs. "Kate needs a hug", Doug whispered into Carol's ear and she nodded.

"What's going on, baby?" Carol asked and bent down to her daughter. A single tear ran down Kate's cheek as she finally looked up to her mother. "Today we played 'Catch Me' and I was running too fast so I fell and hit my head. The boys then laughed at me the whole day", Kate whispered. Carol put a curl behind Kate's ear. "Come on, let's take a seat on the couch okay?" Carol said and Kate nodded.

On the couch Kate snuggled close to her mother and Carol stroke over Kate's hair. "I love you, do you know that?" Carol asked and Kate nodded. "You are a strong, beautiful, confident little girl. Don't…just don't let the boys hurt your feelings. Just always be yourself. Those boys are no better than you are. You are yourself and I love you the way you are. You don't always need to be so strong. You have friends who like you the way you are, you have Tess and you have your daddy, Casey…and now your little brothers and sister too. You're not alone. We'll always be there for you", Carol tried to explain to her daughter and kissed her on her forehead. "Sometimes I wish to be Tess…" Kate murmured and sighed. "Oh baby…don't say that. I love my Kate, what would I do without you?" Carol answered and hugged her daughter just tighter. Kate didn't answer but she closed her eyes, knowing that she had the best mother in the world.

"Wanna say hello to your little brothers and sisters?" she then asked and Kate nodded. Carol stood up from the couch and Kate stood up on the couch. "Mommy", she said and Carol turned around. Kate held out her hands to Carol and she went closer, just so Kate could hug her. "I love you mommy", Kate said and Carol kissed her daughter once again. There wasn't anything more beautiful in the world then the love of a kid…


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: **Hey! Here's the next chapter, be prepared for some DRAMAAAA! Special thanks to **goodwifefan**, who's still here reading. Thanks so much!

* * *

**Lost**

Doug sat at the table drinking his almost cold coffee. Emery in his hands looked at him with big brown eyes. Amazing, how much his little girl changed from the moment of her birth until now. She looked more and more like Tess' did at this time, as he could recall from the pictures. Just beautiful. He loved watching her. God, he loved everything about his kids. More than a year ago he was alone in this big house, wishing to see Carol again. Now the house was full of love, laughter, cries and stinking diapers. He didn't wish for more now. Slowly he stroke over Emery's cheek with his finger. "Aw…come here little girl…daddy will bring you back to bed", he whispered and stood up with the baby in his hands. Emery closed her eyes and sucked on her pacifier. Her little fingers wrapped around Doug's finger and he smiled.

When he entered the babies' room, he found Carol changing Liam's diapers. "Hey, good morning", he whispered and kissed Carol on her neck. "Good morning to you too", she answered smiling. "Did I wake you up?" Doug asked as he laid Emery back into her crib. "You didn't but your son did", she said and dressed little Liam again. That sounded so damn good. Your son. Your daughter. He was a proud daddy. Smiling, he went closer to Carol. "Baby high five, buddy", he chuckled and took Liam's hand to high five him. "High five for waking mommy up?" Carol made a face. "Oh no…he didn't do it on purpose, right, Liam?" Doug chuckled again and looked at the baby who was kicking his hands and feet up. "Yeah…but I still think they're having a plan", Carol answered smiling, stroking over Liam's hand. Doug smiled and looked at her. "Will you be okay?" he asked and she nodded. "Sure…Tess and Kate promised to help me", Carol answered and put Liam back into his crib. She took a glimpse at Mason who was still sleeping like a stone. Doug hugged her from behind and laid his head on her shoulder. Carol chuckled and turned around to kiss him. "You don't want to leave, do you", she said and Doug made a puppy face before he nodded. "Only two days, Doug. Plus, you'll be back for their baths. They'll survive without you, I'm sure", she chuckled and Doug nodded. "But you call me when you need anything, okay?" Doug asked and Carol nodded.

They left the room and went downstairs. "Damn…I really don't want to go", Doug murmured as he put on his shoes. Carol chuckled and shook her head. "You sound like a little boy who doesn't want to go to school", she said and Doug looked up at her. He didn't answer but stared for a moment at her. "What?" she asked. "You're so beautiful", he answered in a hoarse voice and got up to kiss her once again. "Ah…don't leave", Carol whined and Doug looked at her. "You're not a big help here", he chuckled and kissed her again. "Sorry…I guess we have to get used to it", she smiled and stroke over Doug's shoulders. "Right. I'll call. Tell the girls hello", Doug answered. "I will. I love you", Carol said and kissed him shortly. "Love you too", he answered smiling and finally left for work.

Carol sighed and asked herself, if she should go back to bed or start making breakfast for the twins. Right now it was so peaceful in the house. No sound of anything so she decided to take a cup of coffee outside on the dock. It was still very early in the morning, so she knew the twins wouldn't wake up for another 30 minutes and the babies were fed and cleaned and asleep again. Packed with a cup of coffee and the baby monitor she went outside and immediately felt the cold breeze from the lake on her skin. Taking a seat she closed her eyes for a moment and thought about everything that happened the last years. She didn't regret any moment that happened since the accident. Maybe Elizabeth was right after all. Maybe this accident had to happen to get happy again. Carol was happy. She was in love with her husband and in love with her children. The twins were great. They would start with school next month and already said that they were big girls now. Doug was such a great father and such a big help. He stood up in the middle of the night to help Carol with making bottles for the babies, changing their diapers or just to rock them back to sleep. It was like he didn't want to miss anything. She loved him so much…and she would always…

The sound of the baby monitor interrupted her thoughts. It wasn't a baby cry but some noise in the house. Carol knew that the twins woke up now. It was time to go back inside. At least Carol got some minutes of silence…

"Morning babies", she yawned and then had what felt like a mini heart attack as she saw her girls in the kitchen, trying to make breakfast. "Holy crap, down from the kitchen…what are you doing here?" Carol asked and hid her head in her hands. "Mommy, we wanted to make breakfast", Tess answered as she crawled down from the kitchen counter. "Pancakes", Kate said and looked at Carol. The kitchen was a mess, as well as the twins. "Oh dammit…look at you…please…just go into the bathroom and wash yourself…I'm…" Carol got loud and the girls looked down. "We just wanted to help you", Kate said silently. "Have you seen the kitchen? It's a mess! You can't make pancakes on your own!" Carol ranted and went closer. "Sorry mom", Tess said without looking at her. "Kids…just go clean yourself", Carol said then and Tess and Kate ran to the bathroom. Flour was spread out on the floor, yolk was running down the kitchen counter, and milk was spilled. At least the girls already knew the ingredients. Carol shook her head and wanted to start to clean that mess when three loud and strong baby cries sounded from upstairs. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Not a good start into the day…

"Babies…mommy's here…shh…it's okay", she tried to calm the babies down as she entered the triplets' room. First she picked up Mason from his crib, kissed his cheek and put him back at the changing table. Mason stopped to cry as soon as Carol opened his diaper. She chuckled. "You like that, don't you", she said in a baby voice and Mason started to kick his feet. "So tell your brother and your sister to stop crying…will you? Will you Mase?" she smiled and blew on one of his feet. Carol changed his diaper and dressed him with some baby clothes. "All done…now you need to make place for your sister!" she smiled and put Mason back into the crib. "Yeah…you don't like that, I know", she said as Mason started to cry again.

Tess and Kate stood at the door and watched Carol with the babies. Both seemed very sad. Kate turned around and took Tess' hand. "Come on, let's go…" she said and they went back downstairs. "Do you think mommy doesn't like us anymore because we wanted to make breakfast?" Tess asked and Kate shrugged her shoulders. "I think she likes the babies more…she shouted with us but smiled at them", Kate answered sadly. "Yeah maybe. They don't need us anymore I guess…we could live in Casey's tree house in the meantime", Tess suggested. "Good idea. We should pack and move to there", Kate said and Tess nodded.

In the meantime Carol finished dressing the babies. "Now you are ready and mommy is still in her pajamas…" she laughed as she looked at the triplets who were now sitting in their carriers. Emery, Liam and Mason looked at her with big brown eyes. "God I love you so, so, so much!" Carol smiled and picked them up to go to the bathroom. While she dressed herself, she wondered what Tess and Kate were doing at the moment because it was so silent. "Hopefully your sisters don't destroy the kitchen", she smiled at the triplets. She really didn't want to be mad at them, but when she saw the kitchen she lost it. The twins knew exactly that they couldn't do pancakes alone and they knew the rules. Carol sighed and took a look in the mirror as she put her hair up to a ponytail. "Okay, let's go downstairs to make your bottles in a messy kitchen", she said to the triplets and carried them downstairs.

"Tess? Kate? Can you help me please?" she called as she came into the kitchen and put the carriers on the counter that wasn't dirty. The twins didn't answer. "Well, maybe they went outside", she said to herself and started to make the babies' bottles. Liam was already sucking on his pacifier and Emery discovered her fingers. Mason was just looking what Carol was doing. "So daddy fed Emery, right? So Mason and Liam go first", she said and poked Mason's nose. Liam immediately started to drink but Mason…well, he obviously wasn't in the mood to drink. "Baby, what's going on? Are you not hungry? Come on…" Carol tried once again and finally, after some moments, Mason started to drink. "Here you go", Carol said again and then looked outside the window to see where Tess and Kate were, but there was no sight of them. She started to wonder where her girls were. They didn't even have breakfast yet. Maybe she was too harsh to them. She didn't want to hurt her kids but then again, they had to learn the rules.

"Tess? Kate? Come in please, I'm making breakfast!" she called out of the living room door after she finished feeding the babies but she didn't get an answer. "Damn…where are they?" Carol said to herself and went to the front door. "Tess…Kate…are you here?" she called again and waited. No answer. Where were here babies? She got worried. The lake. "Oh God…" Carol ran as quickly as she could outside. Her heart was beating like hell. What if…no. The fence was closed. The key was still in the house. Carol felt the tears in her eyes. She was shaking. Doug…she needed to call Doug.

"Miss me already?" Doug chuckled as he picked up his phone. "Doug…the girls are gone", Carol sobbed. "What…what do you mean, they're gone?" Doug asked. "I shouted with them this morning because they messed up the kitchen…and now I can't find them anymore…the fence is still closed. I called out to them but they didn't answer. I have no idea where they are", she answered and closed her eyes. "Carol…calm down. I bet they're out somewhere. I'm sure they didn't run away…" "But where are they Doug? I…I can't find them", Carol interrupted him and wiped away the tears on her cheek. "Calm down…I'll come. Keep searching. I'll come as soon as possible" Doug answered. "Thanks", Carol just sobbed and hung up. She needed to find her strawberry baby bear and her chocolate baby bee.

* * *

"It's boring here…" Tess murmured and Kate sighed. "Maybe we should go back to grandma", she suggested. "But how shall we do that? We can't drive a car", Tess shook her head. "I don't know", Kate answered. "We can ask daddy when he comes back home", Tess then said and Kate nodded. She already missed her mommy but no, she didn't show it to Tess.

* * *

"Avery?" Carol asked as she opened the door to Avery's house. "In the kitchen!" Avery called back and Carol ran inside. "Hey…hey…what's going on?" Avery asked worried as she saw Carol. "Have you seen Tess and Kate? Are they playing with Carey and Casey?" Carol asked out of breath. "No…I don't think so…they boys are out on the lake with Jason, why?" Avery asked. "I can't find them", Carol said and started to cry again. "Oh God…come here", Avery said, went to Carol and hugged here. "It's going to be alright. I bet they're just playing somewhere. It's okay", she tried to calm down Carol and stroke over her back. "I…I…I shouted with them this morning…I…" Carol sobbed. "Shh…we'll find them. Don't worry too much. Where are the babies?" Avery asked. "Sleeping", Carol answered and wiped away her tears when she and Avery separated. "Okay. Let's go over to your place, come on", Avery said and took Carol's hand. "But I don't want to interrupt you; I just wanted to ask…" "Doesn't matter. Let's go", Avery tried to smile.

* * *

"Carol? Are you here?" she heard Doug and she looked up. "Living room", she answered and stroke over Emery's little face who was sleeping on her arm. "Did you find them?" he asked out of breath when he ran to the living room. "Not yet", she answered and searched for his eyes. "That's not possible…" he murmured and went left and right in the room. "We asked in the neighborhood too…nobody has seen them", Avery said and Doug nodded. "Okay. You stay here, I'm going to search them again", he said and went closer to Carol. He bent down to her and cupped her chin. "Care…I…we'll find them. I promise you", he whispered and Carol closed her eyes. "I'm sorry", she answered whispering and leaned her forehead on Doug's. "Hey, it's not your fault. It's not", he tried to assure her. "I wanna come with you", she then said and looked at him again. "No…stay with our babies. I'll be right back. I love you", Doug answered and kissed her shortly, before he left the house again. Carol started to cry and Avery stroke over her arm. "He'll find them. I'm sure", she said and Carol nodded. She wasn't so sure anymore…


	30. Chapter 30

**AN:** Special thanks to Suki and goodwifefan for the comments! This means a lot! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

* * *

**You're my Always**

Doug stood before his garage and took a deep breath. He had to find his peanut and sugar. He started to think. If he was a kid, where would he go? They couldn't go outside the fence, so they weren't swimming. They weren't with Jason and the boys either. Maybe they went for a walk…but alone? The playground was at least 15 minutes away and Tess and Kate wouldn't go there without telling Carol. But what if? He had to take a look.

About 10 minutes later Doug arrived at the playground. He saw two boys on the swing set, a girl was slipping down the slide, and another one was climbing a wall. Maybe they were hiding under that climbing wall. Doug went closer and started to look. "Hey you…what are you doing there?" a woman asked and Doug turned around. "Hey…I'm…I'm looking for my twin girls…have you seen them around here?" he asked and showed her a picture in his wallet. The woman looked closely. "No…I'm sorry", she answered and Doug nodded. "Thanks", he said sadly and went away again.

"Dammit girls…where are you?" he asked himself and looked around. He asked every passenger he met about Tess and Kate. Nobody had seen them. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Doug had no idea where he should look next. They could be everywhere. Maybe he should call the police, he thought…but then again, didn't they first start looking after 24 hours? It was only half past 9. God, he had to find them.

"They never ran away before…never", Carol said and looked to Avery. "What if they didn't run away? Maybe they just met friends or are playing anywhere…" Avery answered and put Mason back into the carrier. Carol shook her head. "It was so early in the morning. They didn't even have their breakfast and it's all my fault!" she answered, closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch. "Oh come on Carol, you know it's not your fault", Avery answered. "I was mad at them. I was really pissed…" Carol said. "And? You are their mother, you have the right to be mad at them when they did something wrong. They have to learn it…" Avery answered. Carol sighed. "Yeah, but not run away…I'm going to kill myself if something happens to them", she said. She almost lost Kate at her birth; she almost lost both when they had the accident…god, she loved them so much. It ripped her apart not knowing where they were. "I'm sure Doug will find them", Avery then said and Carol nodded again. She didn't give up her hope. Suddenly little Liam started to cry and Carol looked at him. "Oooh baby…come here, mommy is here", Carol said, picked him up from the carrier and snuggled close to him. "It's good…mommy's here", she said again and the tears came back. Avery looked at them and smiled a little. "Try to be strong. We're all here to help", she said and Carol nodded. She stroke over Liam's back and soaked in his baby scent. "I'll try", she answered.

Suddenly her phone started to ring. It was Doug. "Did you find them?" she immediately asked. "Not yet. Care…do you know Lana's address? Maybe they went to her house", Doug answered. Carol closed her eyes. "Desmond Street…the blue house on the left", she answered and sighed. She couldn't image her girls going that far away from at home. "Okay thanks. I'll keep you updated", Doug answered and hung up. "And?" Avery asked. "No news", Carol answered and stroke over Liam's back again.

* * *

"Jason? Hey", Avery said as he came back with the boys and kissed him shortly. "Hey…what's going on?" he asked concerned as he saw the look on his wife's face. "Tess and Kate are missing", she said silently so the boys couldn't hear it. "What? Oh my God", Jason answered and covered his mouth with his hand. "Since this morning…you didn't see them before you drove out on the lake, did you?" she asked. Jason shook his head. "No…no, it was just the boys and me", he answered and hugged her tightly. "Carol is really messed up. Doug is out looking for them…" Avery said and snuggled closer to Jason. "Damn…I…I'm going to look too…if that's okay", Jason said. Avery looked at him and kissed him once again. "Of course. Look everywhere you can. I love you", she answered. "Love you too", he smiled and ran inside of his garage. He came back out with his mountain bike. "The boys are already inside. Should I tell them to come out?" Jason asked. "No, it's okay. I'll tell them where we are", Avery said and Jason nodded before he drove away.

"Hey boys!" Avery called as she went inside and hugged her sons tightly. "Mom…you're squishing us!" Carey complained and Avery parted from them again. "Sorry…I just…I…guys, did you see Tess and Kate this morning?" she then asked and Casey looked to his brother and shrugged his shoulders. "No mom…it was just dad and us when we went outside…" Carey said. Avery sighed. "Oh damn…okay guys, come with me. We're going to Carol. Tess and Kate are missing", she said and got a puzzled look from her sons.

"Hello Mrs. Hathaway", Carey said as they arrived in the living room where Carol was sitting on the couch and looking out to nowhere. "Hi boys", she then answered as she turned around. "Did they…" "Sorry. It was just them and Jason in the morning", Avery answered and Carol nodded. "I can't believe this…" Carol murmured and leaned back again. "Maybe they are just playing outside somewhere", Casey said and took a seat beside Carol. Carol stroke over his head. "Yeah…maybe…" she answered and smiled a little.

Maybe…

* * *

"Tess? I have to pee", Kate said and woke up her sleeping sister. "Then go…why do you wake me up?" Tess murmured and sat up again. "Because I don't know where to go!" Kate answered. "Go home then", Tess got mad. "But didn't we say we're not going home anymore?" Kate asked and made a face. Tess sighed. Her sister had a point. "Well…maybe we should go home again. We don't have anything to eat and how should we get to kindergarten from here?" Tess answered after some thinking. Kate nodded. "Right…this was a stupid idea anyway. I'm sure that daddy still loves us", she answered and stood up. "I hope so…" Tess answered and packed her things.

Doug didn't find them. He looked here and he looked there, but nobody had seen them or heard from them. God, what if anything happened to them? He didn't even want to think about it. This morning he looked into their room and saw them sleeping heavily. He just couldn't believe that they ran away or have been kidnapped or anything. He knew his daughters. But where the hell were they?

He headed back home because he had no idea where to look else. What would he tell Carol? He promised her that he'd find them. Soon he was in their street again but still no sign of Tess and Kate. Doug was near tears. And then he looked at the Lawrence house. He didn't look in their garden earlier. This was his last idea.

Tess and Kate crawled down the tree house and ran around the house. They didn't come very far because they bummed directly into Doug who just came around the corner.

"Oh God. Oh my God", he said and knelt down in front of them. "Daddy, are you okay?" Kate asked and looked at him. Doug chuckled and let the tears come down. "Why are you crying?" Tess asked. They didn't really understand this. "Come here girls", Doug said and opened his arms for them. Kate looked at Tess and shrugged her shoulders before they both hugged their daddy. "Don't you ever do that again…promise me", he sobbed into their ears as he didn't want to let them go. "Promise what?" Tess asked. "Go away without telling your mother or me where you going…we care about you!" he answered and finally looked at them again. "But daddy, we've just been in the tree house and now I really need to pee", Kate answered and jumped from one foot to the other. Doug chuckled and wiped away his tears. "Then let's go home…your mom will be so happy to see you", he said and stood up again.

Silently he thanked God that his kids were safe and healthy. He was so happy to see them. But what did they do up there all morning? What was their intention?

"Doug? Is that you?" Carol called as she heard the front door go open. "Me and two runaways", he chuckled and appeared in the living room with the twins. "Oh God!" Carol almost jumped up from the couch and ran to them to hug them and overload them with kisses. "Okay I guess mommy still loves us", Tess said to Kate and Kate nodded. "What? Where have you been? Oh girls!" Carol said and still kissed them. Avery smiled. She gave a sign to her boys to go home. "See you later", she whispered to Doug and went out of the living room door.

"Mommy, I can't breathe", Kate said and finally Carol parted from them. "Baby…where have you been? Why did you run away? I was so worried!" she said and stroke over Kate's cheeks. Kate looked down as well as Tess. "Come on, tell me", Carol whispered and stroke away the tears on her cheek. Doug knelt down beside Carol and laid a hand over her back. "We…" Tess started but didn't want to go on. Kate rolled her eyes. "We thought we could live in the tree house because you don't love us anymore", she said and Carol looked at them puzzled. "But what makes you think that?" she asked shaking her head. "You shouted with us but we just wanted to help. And then we saw you with the babies. You love them more, right?" Kate answered and finally looked at Carol. Doug closed his eyes but Carol hugged Kate fiercely and cried into her hair. "Oh baby…no…no! I love all my babies! I love you so, so much! Don't you ever think that I don't love you…you both are my always, as well as the babies and as well as daddy…" she sobbed and looked at her girls again. "The babies just need our help more now…they are too little to do anything alone, but you know that, right?" Doug said and the twins nodded. "I'm so glad you're back…I love you. I love both of you. Don't forget that", Carol said and hugged them again. "Sorry mommy", Tess then said. "Yeah…sorry, also for trying to make breakfast", Kate said and sighed. Carol smiled at them. "You're forgiven. Next time you just ask me to help you, okay? And don't run away", she said and stroke over Tess' cheek. "Mommy, we didn't exactly run away…" Tess said. "Yeah, we've just been in Casey's tree house all the time but man, I need to pee so badly, can I go please?" Kate said and jumped on her feet again. Carol chuckled. "Of course, honey", she answered and Kate ran to the toilet. "The tree house…" she said and shook her head. "I love you baby", she kissed Tess' head as she stood up. Doug followed her and Carol hugged him. "Thank you…thank you so much for your help...God, what would I do without you?" she said and stroke over his cheek. "I was pretty scared myself…" Doug answered and kissed her shortly. "They surely keep us on our toes", Carol chuckled and Doug nodded. "I'm just glad we found them again…and now I have to go back to work", he answered and Carol sighed. "Really? Can't you stay?" she asked whining and Doug shook his head. "Sorry…only five more hours", Doug answered and kissed her again. "Okay…thanks again. See you later", Carol answered and smiled at him. "No problem. Tess, be a good girl okay?" he said to Tess and she nodded. "Yes daddy", she answered. Carol turned around to her daughter and felt her heart warm up when she saw Tess playing with her little siblings.

* * *

It was silent in the house when Doug arrived after his ship. This has been such an eventful day and he was more than happy to be at home. He couldn't wait to bath his little babies and snuggle with the twins in their beds. His girls were amazing…of course it wasn't a good idea to go away without telling Carol, but man, they had ideas. Quite a bunch.

When he arrived at the living room he smiled. A cartoon was running on the TV and Tess and Kate were sleeping in Carol's arms. He went closer and kissed Carol on her cheek. She almost jumped but smiled then as she saw Doug. "Thanks for scaring me", she whispered and looked at her daughters. "We must've been falling asleep", she added and Doug nodded. "Looks that way…are the triplets sleeping too?" he asked and Carol nodded. "Yeah…but they didn't have their baths yet…after I fed them I had some long needed twins' time", she answered smiling. Doug smiled too. "Let's bring them to bed", he suggested and Carol nodded.

So Doug picked up Tess who immediately snuggled closer to him. Carol picked up Kate and kissed her head. "Mommy, I don't want to get up yet", Kate murmured without opening her eyes. "You don't have to…we're going to bed", Carol whispered into Kate's ear who was already asleep again. "Our bed?" Doug asked and Carol nodded. "Our bed", she answered and smiled at him.

They were together again and that was the most important thing in life.


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: **Hey all! I hope you didn't forget me...I was suffering from a writers block, but now I'm back! Hope you're still staying with me :)

* * *

**School's in!**

Carol came home fully packed from grocery shopping and had a good laugh. Her daughters were dancing on the couch to Elvis' "All shook up" and were entertaining the triplets who were in their seats on the table. Emery was looking at her sisters with big eyes, Liam was kicking his feet and Mason was trying to eat his fist. What a beautiful sight. "Hey rocker girls, where's your daddy?" Carol called over the music and Kate turned around. "Toilet!" she answered and was back to dancing and singing again. Carol nodded and then shook her head laughing while she went to the kitchen to put all the stuff away.

"Elvis, huh?" Carol then asked as Doug came into the kitchen to welcome her with a kiss. He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing's better than Elvis for the girls right now", he answered and looked into the bags. "Mhhhm…that looks like a fest for the twins", he smiled as he saw all the sweets Carol bought. "It's for their school cones…God, I think I'm more nervous than they are", Carol answered and leaned back on the kitchen counter. "Ah, I think they'll be cool…they're excited already and can't wait to learn", Doug answered and smiled at her. Carol nodded. "Well, I hope this will last longer", she chuckled and then made a face when the twins turned up the music louder. Only a moment later Liam let out a loud cry. "Guess Li doesn't like Elvis that much", Carol murmured and went into the living room to turn the music down again. "But mom…" Tess complained and Kate of course joined her. "It's just too loud…you can listen to Elvis, but in a lower level, okay?" Carol answered and the twins nodded their heads."Okay…so what about your brother? Maybe he doesn't like Elvis that much?" she then asked and sat down on the couch in front of her crying baby. "But Liam was okay before…he loves Elvis", Tess said and Kate nodded. "Do you like Elvis? Shall Tess and Kate sing again?" Carol asked Liam who didn't stop to moaning. "Maybe he needs a fresh diaper", Kate said and cupped her nose in her fingers. "Oh yes, he does…you're stinking, little baby", Carol smiled at her son and got him out of his seat. "Oh baby…stop crying…you'll get a new diaper", she patted Liam's back and went upstairs to their room.

* * *

Later that evening Carol was having a chat with the twins while they took their bath. "What will we learn tomorrow, mommy?" Tess asked and looked at her. "Tomorrow is your first day in school, so I guess it will just be an icebreaker session…like your first day at kindergarten, remember?" Carol answered and Tess nodded. "So we don't need to bring our school bags?" Kate asked and Carol nodded. "Not tomorrow", she answered and started to wash Kate's hair. "Are we going with the bus?" Kate then asked. "No honey, I'll bring you to school tomorrow", Carol smiled and shook her head because of the nervousness of her daughters. "Oh thank God. I'm really glad", Kate asked and sighed. Carol laughed and kissed her cheek. "Mommy is excited for you …I'm really proud of you, girls", Carol answered and kissed Tess' cheek too. "And why?" Tess asked making a face because of the kiss. "Because you're such good girls lately and you're helping me and daddy so much and well, I could eat you all up…that's how much I love you two", Carol explained and smiled at them. Kate then stood up in the bath tube and hugged her mother. "Aah, you're making me all wet", Carol squealed but laughed. "Don't worry, it will dry…it's only water", Kate answered smiling. "Yeah…we love you too, mommy", Tess then said and got up to hug Carol too. "Aww…stop it or I'll eat you", Carol said and started to tickle her girls who were laughing their lungs out.

* * *

"Good night, girls", Doug said as he looked into the twins' room. "Daddy…will you cuddle with us a little bit?" Tess asked and Doug smiled. "So cuddling with mommy wasn't enough?" he asked and went closer to Tess bed. "We want cuddling time with daddy too", Kate answered and sat up in her bed. "Alright. But only for some minutes. You need a lot of sleep for tomorrow", he said and so Kate came to Tess' bed and snuggled close to her sister and Doug. "Excited for tomorrow?" Doug asked. "Yeah", Kate answered and nodded her head. "Did you like school too, daddy?" Tess asked and Doug chuckled. "Oh, I loved it. I really, really loved it, especially doing homework and learning for exams", he lied and Kate made a face. "I don't believe you", she answered. "Yeah, boys don't like school that much", Tess said and nodded. Doug chuckled again. "Well, school is very important, no matter what. And I know you'll do great. And I can't wait to hear everything about your first day tomorrow", Doug said and then kissed first Tess and then Kate. "And now try to sleep. We'll see us in the morning…good night, girls", Doug murmured and got up from the bed and tucked Kate under her blanket. "Good night daddy", the girls answered sighting and closed their eyes.

When Doug came back to the bedroom, he found three little, wide awake babies tucked safely on his and Carol's bed. "Oh, hello kiddos! What are you doing here? Where did you hide your mommy? Where is mommy?" he talked to them in a baby voice and got some murmuring and smiling from his baby back. "God, I could eat you all up, do you know that? I love you so much…and…I hope I'm okay as a daddy. Please tell me if I'm not that good as a daddy, okay?" he smiled and stroked over Emery's short hair. Carol stood at the bathroom door and smiled. "You're probably the best daddy in the world", she smiled at him and Doug looked up at her. "You think? Maybe we should ask them in some years again", he smiled back at her. Carol shook her head and crawled onto the bed to snuggle close to Doug. "When I see you with our kids…especially with Tess and Kate, I always wish that I could have such moments with my dad. I mean…I don't know if I had such moments with him…I can't remember", Carol said and sighed. Doug nodded his head. "That's why I want to be with them all the time possible. I wanna be there when they grow up and I can't tell you how happy I am right now, with you and with our kids", Doug answered. Carol turned around and kissed him shortly. "And still I'm sorry that you had to miss four years in the twins' lives…" she whispered and stoke over his cheek. "Oh no…not again, Care. We talked about this…and it's okay. I'm happy the way it is", Doug said and Carol kissed him again. "I love you", she whispered then and smiled. "And I love you", Doug answered and then laughed, when Liam started to complain. "Hey buddy…you don't like mommy and daddy kissing?" he chuckled and picked his boy up, who immediately searched for something to eat. "Oh, they're hungry…I'm going to make their bottles", Carol said and got up from the bed again. "Alright, it's daddy time! Elvis again, huh? Well it's one for the money, two for the show…" Doug started to sing as he took Liam's hands in his and danced a little with his son. Carol shook her head and laughed as she went downstairs to get the bottles. "Mommy can't sing, that's why she's going now", Doug whispered to Liam who smiled again.

* * *

"Girls, get up! School's waiting!" Carol called while getting the cones for the twins ready. Then Doug came into the living room, wearing his new suit and tie. "Oh wow, you look good", Carol said and smiled at him. "Well thank you Madame", he chuckled and kissed her shortly. "You're going to rock this meeting", she answered and finally finished decorating the cones. "I hope so. It's a big step in our project. So, girls still refusing to get up?" he asked and Carol nodded. "Good start, right?" she murmured and took a deep breath. "Little ones are still sleeping too. I tell you, they've made a plan", she added. Doug chuckled. "Well, if it helps, I'm going to wake the twins up", he said and Carol nodded.

"Good morning sweethearts, go get up, it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining and you need to get ready for your first day in schooooool" he sang when he entered their room and let the sun and Kate groaned under their pillows and turned around again. "We decided to stay at home a little bit longer", Kate murmured and Doug chuckled. "Not possible. If you stay at home today, you have to stay at school one day longer when holidays start for the others", he said and only a moment later the girls crawled out of bed. "I bet he's lying again", Kate murmured as she followed Tess into the bathroom. Doug chuckled and went out of the room to take a glimpse of the triplets. "Oh, you're awake too, that's good. Mommy is waiting for you", he said. "Carol, twins and triplets are awake!" he called downstairs and Carol smiled. Twins and triplets. Still somehow unbelievable. "Coming", she answered and went upstairs.

"Mom, are you sure I need to wear that dress?" Kate asked as she came out of the bathroom making a face. "Yes, I am. Go get ready", Carol answered nodding her head. "Oh damn…I don't want to wear a dress. Please, mommy?" Kate begged. "Honey…I don't have time for this now. Please, it's just for this day. You can wear your pants tomorrow, okay?" she bent down and kissed Kate's forehead. Kate sighed. "Fine, whatever…" she murmured and went back to her sister. Carol chuckled and shook her head as she went to Doug. "A boy got lost on your second daughter, do you know that?" "Yeah…I don't know what I did wrong…do you?" he chuckled and Carol shrugged her shoulders smiling. "No idea…but we love them the way they are, right?" she murmured and kissed Mason's cheek as she picked him up. "Alright, quick mode now. We're late already…" she added and Doug nodded. "Alright, alright. Here we go", he answered and picked up Emery from her crib.

* * *

"Say Cheeeeeeseee" Doug said as he made a picture of Tess and Kate with their school cones. Tess smiled from one ear to the other while Kate made an annoyed face. "Come on Peanut…don't be grumpy", Doug said and Kate frowned again. "What will your teacher think?" he then asked and Kate shrugged her shoulders. "What? You look so beautiful with your dress. You have to watch out for the boys who'll come after you!" Doug chuckled. "Oh daddy…stop it please", Kate now almost cried and jumped on her feet. "Alright…I think it's really time to go now", Carol interrupted as she was ready putting the triplets into their car seats. "Okay…babies…I wish you so much fun at school. You be good girls, okay? I love you both", Doug said and hugged his daughters. "Thanks daddy", both said in a choir and Doug smiled. Tess and Kate then went to the garage. "Doug? Would you please help me here?" Carol interrupted his smiling and he turned around. "Oh, sure", he said and picked up Emery's and Mason's car seats. "You're really excited, aren't you", Carol smiled and Doug nodded. "Special moment…now it's school, later comes college, then comes their wedding…" Doug answered and followed the twins. "Yeah…a dad can dream" Carol murmured and followed him smiling.

* * *

Carol heard the garage door and smiled. "Hey…how was the meeting?" she smiled as Doug appeared in the kitchen. "Hey Avery!" he greeted his neighbor and then kissed Carol shortly. "Please don't ask me about the meeting. Californian docs are crazy people", Doug answered and got himself a can of Red Bull out of the fridge. "Didn't you kick their asses?" Avery asked and then drank out her coffee. "I tried…so, where are the girls? How was their first day?" Doug asked. "Sleeping like little angels. They were so nervous on the way to school and fell asleep on the way back home", Carol answered smiling. Doug chuckled and shook his head. "Casey was really beaten too…it's a new step in their lives…it's only understandable", Avery answered and Carol nodded. "You should've seen then girls when they came out…they didn't shut up until we were at home", Carol told Doug. "Oh…too bad I missed this", he murmured and turned around to go away. Carol immediately knew that he was going to the girls' room.

"He's pissed because he missed it again", Carol whispered to Avery. "Yeah, but what can I say? Jason is never at home. He missed Carey's first day at kindergarten, he missed Casey's first day at school…I wonder what the guys what do without us women", Avery chuckled and Carol nodded. "They'd be so lost…" she answered and smiled.

Doug sat on Kate's bed and stroke over her back. She was such a beautiful girl. He remembered when he looked into her beautiful dark brown eyes for the very first time. He remembered the fear she felt then and when she called him daddy for the first time ever. He placed a kiss on her forehead and then went to Tess' bed. His sugar was as beautiful as her sister was. Her eyes were not that dark as Kate's but were shining all the time. Tess was his shining star. He stroke over her curls and kissed her forehead as well. "Sleep well my little school girls…" he whispered and smiled, happy to have them here…


	32. Chapter 32

**AN**: Hey all! Finally a new chapter! Started it weeks ago and finally finished (damn work). Stay tuned, two more chapters to come!

* * *

**Happy Chaos**

"LIAM CRUZ ROSS, stop there…don't…no!" Carol almost screamed before she ran after her son who discovered the kitchen decoration. He and Mason just started to walk the week before, while Emery still was happy with crawling. And now…now nothing was safe from the triplets anymore. Carol picked Liam up and kissed his rosy cheek. "Adadada" Liam complained and wanted to be put down on the ground again, but Carol didn't let him go anymore. "No, no, no, mama is making your lunch now", she chuckled and tickled the little boy who started to laugh. "Oh, you're a little rascal and you know how to show it", Carol laughed and put him to his siblings who were playing in the playpen. Carol waved at them and went back to the kitchen.

While she was cutting vegetables, she remembered this special moment the week before.

Carol was ironing upstairs and chatting with the twins. "Did you do your homework already?" she asked and the twins nodded. "Yes mom. Dad helped us in math", Kate answered and sighed. "What?" Carol asked and Kate shrugged her shoulders. "I'm bored", she answered. "Then go read a book or take a ride with your bike or whatever…" Carol answered shaking her head. "Tess, will you join me?" Kate asked her sister and Tess nodded. "Sure. Maybe the boys will come too", Tess murmured and left their mom alone.

"CAROL!" she suddenly heard and almost jumped. "What? What is it?" she hesitated and ran downstairs. Doug was standing in front of the couch with Emery on his arm and Carol stood behind him. "What's going on?" she asked again and Doug pointed to the table. Carol went past him and took a look. Liam and Mason were standing at the table, trying not to fall. "So? I know that the boys are able to stand already…" she said and smiled at her sons. "No, just wait", Doug said and went closer to them again. "Come here, boys", he said and Carol took Emery from his arm, before she took a seat on the couch. Only moments later Liam let go from the table and took a step forward. Carol couldn't believe her eyes. Her son was going without help. "Aah…oh my God! Emery, look at your brother, do you see that?" Carol asked her daughter and kissed her cheek. Emery was just busy eating her fist. Carol laughed and then saw Mason who was coming to her. "Oh, my little babies! Doug…where did that time go?" Carol whined and stroke over Mason's light hair. Doug picked Liam up and went to sit beside Carol. She looked at him and saw this happy glowing in his eyes and God, it felt so good to see him like this. He missed all these things when Carol had the twins, but now he was there, he was the one who taught the boys how to walk without help. Doug chuckled and kissed Liam's cheek. "This is awesome", he said and looked at Carol again. She put her hand on his cheek and kissed him passionately. "ADADADADA" and now happy Liam interrupted them and they had to laugh again. "Doug, we're getting old", Carol chuckled and Doug nodded. "But you know what? I don't care. This…this is such an amazing experience….just like a never ending adventure", he answered and smiled from one ear to the other. "That's the wonder of life", Carol answered and kissed him once again.

A loudly crying Emery interrupted Carol's thoughts. "Kids…please", Carol whined and went to the playpen again. Little Mason discovered Emery's longer growing curls and held on them really tight. "Mason baby, you're hurting your sister…here, play with your penguin", she handed the soft toy to Mason and stroke over Emery's head. The little girl was really angry now and not stopping to cry. "Aw, Emery, why are you so grumpy today?" Carol asked and picked the girl up. Emery immediately snuggled closer and Carol stroke over her head. "What's going on with you little bee?" Carol asked and stroke over the baby's head. "You need mommy time, I assume", Carol smiled and went to the couch with Emery no her arm.

"Why can't you stay like this? Huh?" she asked and soaked in the baby scent of her daughter. She smelled so good. The triplets were almost one year old already and Carol couldn't believe how quickly that time went by. Tess and Kate were almost done with the first school year and the triplets were able to walk already. Well, except Emery, who was slow-paced at all. The boys were trying to talk a lot, they crawled really early and especially Liam couldn't wait to explore the world. Emery was quiet, always looking with big brown eyes, trying to don't miss anything around her. Carol couldn't imagine a life without them, or without the twins. Tess and Kate changed so much since they started school. Not in a bad way, but they were more grown-up now. Carol smiled. No matter how grown-up they were…they would always be her little babies.

"Oh…mommy needs to cook…do you want to help me?" she then asked Emery as she got up from the couch again. Emery just smiled at her. "I take that as a yes", Carol smiled and kissed the baby's cheek. "ADADADA", Liam complained and Carol looked at him. "What, you wanna help me too? What about you, Mase?" she asked and Mason tried to get up. "Take that as a yes, too", Carol said to herself and first put Emery into her seat that was waiting in the kitchen. Then she went back to the boys. "Come here, masters", she murmured and picked both up. "Chicken with vegetables today, you like that?" she asked the boys who babbled something and she chuckled.

"Hi mom!" she then heard Tess. "Hi girls, how was school?" she called back. "Oh, damn math homework…seriously; do we need to do homework every day? That sucks!" Kate ranted and Carol looked at her second daughter with a furrowed brow. "Sorry mom, but really", Kate frowned and went to the triplets. "Hello baby people", she smiled and high fived with all three. "Baby people?" Carol chuckled and shook her head. "What, they are baby people right?" Kate asked and shrugged her shoulders. "I think Mason is getting another tooth", Tess said. Mason was chocking on her finger and she made a face. "Let me look", Carol said and went closer to them. "Come on, open your mouth young man", she said and looked really closely. "Yeah…you're right! Yay, I can't wait for the fever to be back", Carol joked and went back to her chicken. "Yay…again, crying little babies", Tess laughed and Kate rolled her eyes.

Then the phone was ringing. "I go", Kate immediately said and ran to get Carol's cell phone. "Hi daddy", she said and smiled. "Hey Peanut! How was school?" Doug asked. "It was okay, but we have math homework AGAIN!" Kate answered and sighed. "Oh how you love math, right?" Doug chuckled. "No, I hate it. I hate, hate, hate it", Kate answered and Carol chuckled behind her. "I now…but at least it's weekend now. So, is your mom there?" Doug asked. "Sure…wait a moment", Kate said and handed the phone to Carol.

"Hey handsome…what's up?" she asked and smiled. Tess and Kate rolled their eyes. "Hey beautiful…Just wanted to hear your voice and ask what's going on at home", Doug answered. Carol smiled. "Happy chaos, I'd say. Liam discovered decoration, Mason gets a new tooth and Emery is grumpy because the boys try to rip out her hair. Tess and Kate are happy school girls and I'm cooking lunch", Carol told him. "So how's work?" she then asked. "Exhausting. We had two MVAs already. Can't wait for this shift to be over", Doug answered. Carol smiled a little. "At least you have this weekend off", she said. "And I can't wait for you tonight", Doug chuckled. "Really, now that's interesting. How comes?" Carol asked just to lead the twins to another point. "Because you're so plain hot when you moan into my ears", Doug said in a hoarse voice and Carol couldn't hold back a laughter. "Okay, thanks for the information. See you in the evening then", she chuckled and Doug whispered an "I love you" into the phone. Now Carol couldn't wait for him to come home.

* * *

Too bad the afternoon was too exhausting and she was tired already. While Tess and Kate complained because of math, Carol cleaned the kitchen. Later the twins tried to teach Emery how to walk, while Carol had all hands full to ran after the boys who wanted to turn over the whole house. At least they were too tired to stay awake, so she finished them for bed and now watched a cartoon with the twins and Emery. Emery was almost asleep on Carol's lap and the twins yawned too. "Ugh…that's kinda boring. I think I'll go to bed", Kate said and got up from the couch. "Yeah, me too. Night mom", Tess said and kissed her mother's cheek. "You want me to come?" Carol asked and looked at her daughters. "No, it's okay. Just don't wake us up too early tomorrow…good night", Kate answered and kissed her mother's cheek too. "Alright. Night girls…love you", Carol smiled at them and then looked at Emery. "What about you little bee? You wanna stay a little bit longer?" she yawned and kissed Emery's little fingers that touched Carol's neck. "I love you…I love all of you so much", she then said and then didn't even recognize when she fell asleep.

Doug came home only some minutes later and inhaled the smell of his home. He really loved his work but coming home was so much better. He loved coming home to his family. It was really silent in the house and he wondered if the kids were asleep already. He could only hear the TV and when he went to the living room, he smiled. His wife and his youngest daughter were sleeping snuggled together on the couch and looked like there was finally peace on earth. Getting closer, he bent down and kissed Carol's forehead. Slowly she opened her eyes again and then smiled at him. "Hey…did I fall asleep?" she whispered. "Seems that way. Em is in dreamland too. Shall I bring her to bed?" Doug whispered back. "Are you not hungry? I have chicken left", Carol answered and got slowly up to not wake Emery. Doug smiled. "Believe me…I am hungry", he winked at her and Carol nodded smiling.

While Doug ate the last piece of the chicken, Carol brought Emery to bed. Then she turned on the water in the shower. The hot water ran down her back and she closed her eyes as she tried to relax. Only moments later Doug came in, hugged her from behind and started to kiss her shoulders. Carol turned around and kissed him passionately. "Never do that again", she murmured between the kiss. "Do what?" he asked and she looked at him. "Calling me at lunch time, making me all hot although I have to wait for you for another eight hours", she smiled and Doug smiled at her too. "So I made you hot huh", he asked and Carol nodded slowly. "Well that's what I wanted", he added and stroke over her arms. "God, you're so beautiful", he whispered and started to kiss Carol's neck and shoulders. Even after five kids she was the most beautiful woman on earth for Doug. "Doug…" Carol said and he looked at her. She put her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I love you", she whispered before she kissed him again. How did she survive without him four years? How could she ever think that she would be happy without him? Doug was the love of her life. He was the one who made her smile. He was the one who brought sense to her life. He was everything for her. And only moments later she moaned into his ears and Doug smiled. The hot water ran down their bodies who became one and the steam got mixed with pure love.

* * *

"Hopefully we didn't wake the kids", Carol said as she dried her hair and smiled into the mirror. "Ah no…they're sleeping heavily", Doug answered and kissed her shoulder again. "Well then I think we can continue in bed", Carol chuckled and now Doug looked at her. "That's an attractive offer, Mrs. Hathaway", Doug chuckled and now Carol winked at him. Doug went out of the bathroom and took a glimpse at the twins' room. Tess and Kate were sleeping peaceful wrapped in their blankets and although they were more grown-up now, their soft toys were never missing in their beds. "I love you, girls", he said and smiled, before he left their room again. Then he opened the door to the triplets' room. No sound except the breathing of three healthy, beautiful babies was heard. Doug saw that Emery wasn't covered with her blanket, so he went to her and covered her again. "And I love you too, little rascals", he smiled and turned around to leave.

"All asleep?" Carol asked as Doug came back to the bedroom and he nodded. "All asleep. How was your day?" he asked and crawled under the blanket. "Stressful. Three almost one year olds are a bunch", Carol chuckled and turned her head to Doug. "Mason is getting another tooth", she added and Doug nodded. "Amazing, that the smallest of them is now earlier with everything", he chuckled. "Yeah…we did a great job, didn't we", Carol said and kissed him shortly. "Couldn't have been better", Doug answered and disappeared with her in the night again.


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: **Hey my dear readers! So, originally I planned to end this story in the next two chapters, but **goodwifefan **was so sad about it, so I decided to write an extra chapter just for you :) and yesss, I've seen that JM interview and I almost died because of a heart attack! If this comes true I need a doc who comes with me to the movie! Also wanted to thank **nanich09** for her PM, thank you so much!

Back to the Fanfic here...to be honest I'm kinda out of ideas and that's why I'm ending it when they are all happy :) hope you understand and maybe I'll write a new one soon, who knows? hope you enjoy the next chapters!

* * *

**Wake me up when it's all over**

"I didn't plan this. Believe me…it happened", Avery covered her face in her hands and sighed. Jason went up and down in front of her and it freaked her out that he was freaking out. "I thought you were on the pill?" he asked and looked at her. "I am, you know that", Avery answered and finally looked at him. "So how could it happen?" Jason asked. "I have no idea, Jason. As I said, I didn't plan this. I never forgot to take the pill. You know this", she answered loudly and Jason sighed. "I don't…I don't understand this", he murmured and went out of the room. "Don't run away now", she tried to stop him but he grabbed his keys. "I'm not ready to lose you. I need you. The boys need you…I'm not ready", Jason said calmly, kissed her shortly and left the house. Avery slipped down the wall and burst out in heavy tears.

Carol was coming back from a walk with the triplets and saw Jason coming out of the house. She didn't see him or Avery for a couple of days, so she decided to ask him how everything was going. "Hey Jas…" she started but Jason didn't even turn around. He just went straight to his car and drove away with squealing tires. Carol lookedafter him with a furrowed brow but then shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe Aunt Avery and Uncle Jason had a fight, huh?" she asked her babies who babbled something funny and she laughed. Well, she really could use some adult talk again. Of course she loved her kids, more than anything, but she didn't get to drink coffee with Avery lately and they didn't talk for…forever. But now wasn't really a good idea to visit Avery. The triplets needed a change of their diapers and Avery probably was in a bad mood if there really was a fight.

She went straightly out to the garden to look for Doug. "Hey papa, do you have time to help me?" she called out to him and he looked up from cleaning the boat. "Hey…sure, what do you need?" he asked and got up. "Kids need a change", she said and Doug nodded. All three of the triplets immediately started to smile when Doug went closer to them. "Dada", Liam squealed happily and started to kick his feet. "Yeah, dada is here…come here little munchkin", Doug chuckled and picked Liam up from the stroller. "That's so unfair…" Carol murmured and followed Doug inside. "What?" he asked. "It's 'dada' all the time. What about mama?" she asked and Doug shrugged his shoulders. "Liam, who is this," he asked his son and pointed to Carol. "Dada", Liam answered and Carolchuckled. "We're all dada", she answered laughing and kissed Liam's fist.

He loved Avery. He loved her more than his own life. They got to know each other in high school and damn, he loved her today as much as he loved her back then. They were meant for each other. Avery was his light after the tunnel; she was his rock, his lover, his soul mate. He had a wonderful family. His boys meant so much to him, he was a proud father. When Avery was pregnant the first time, he was so happy to have a baby with her. His first son, Carey, he was so small, so beautiful and he knew that he would do anything for his child. Jason always wanted to have more kids with Avery and when she told him about her second pregnancy, he kissed her like there was no tomorrow. Yes, he was the happiest man on earth. But then everything went downhill. Jason found her unconscious at home. He rushed to the hospital, Carey was crying and he thought he'd lose her. He really thought it was the last time he talked to her; the last time he told her that he loved her. Casey, his baby, it didn't get enough to grow in Avery's stomach and god, everything was so hectic. He thought he'd lose her. When Casey was born, he swore to himself that he would never go through this again. And today Avery told him, that she didn't get her period; that she might be pregnant again.

Of course he would love this baby, just as much as Carey and Casey. He'd be happy to be a father again. But God, he was so afraid. Afraid to lose that baby, or to lose Avery. He couldn't live without her. What if it didn't go out as good as the last time?

Dammit. How could that happen? She didn't even talk to Jason about another baby. She was on the pill…did she forget to take it one day? No. Never. Since Carol was at home with the babies, her wish to have another one grew again. She always longed for a third baby, but it was so risky. When Casey was born, healthy and beautiful, she had a talk with Jason about having more kids. Of course she was scared too, so their decision was the best. Avery saw the fear in Jason's eyes and he told her about a thousand times how much he loved her and that he didn't want to lose her. And she wasn't ready to go yet. She was so happy with Jason and with her boys. Now she didn't know what to couldn't kill that baby, could she? Alone the thought about it sent shivers down her spine. But what the hell was she going to do? What if she scared Jason away now? The way he rushed out of the house almost killed her. What would her boys say when they would come home from their grandparents? God, she was so lost. She needed Jason to hold her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay. When she phoned him, she only got his voice mail. Where the hell did he go to? Where was he? Tears streamed down her face when she touched her belly and thought about the baby inside of her. "Oh God, what am I going to do?" she asked herself and collapsed on the couch.

Avery woke up about three hours later. Her eyes hurt from all the crying and the silence in this house killed her. Jason wasn't back. He didn't call; didn't write a message. Avery's heart broke piece by piece. She couldn't live without Jason, never. He was the love of her life; he was her soul mate…he was the father of her children…how could she ever be without him? She was in love with him since the very first day. She needed him and if that meant that she had to give that baby away, she had to do it. When she came to that decision, her tears came back too. This baby was made out of love…it didn't deserve to be aborted. Why wasn't Jason here to take her in his arms? She only needed him.

"Please…pick up", she said to herself, when she dialed his number. He didn't pick up his phone and Avery got worried. What if anything happened to him? She needed to find him.

"Carol? Oh…hey guys", she said to the whole Ross-Hathaway family who was out in the and Kate were in the water with Doug and the triplets played on the grass. Emery started to squeal and kicked her feet when she saw Avery. Avery looked at the little girl and felt her tears coming back. She could have such a girl. "Avery…what's going on?" Carol asked concerned as she noticed Avery's tears. "Jason…he…" she started but stopped as suddenly Emery came to her. Avery couldn't look at the little girl who had such happy eyes. Carol stood up from her seat and immediately went to Avery to hug her. "Hey…don't cry, tell me what's going on", she said silently and stroke over Avery's back. "I'm pregnant and he ran away. I don't know where he is…I…Carol, I don't know what to do", Avery whispered and dried her tears. Carol nodded and looked at her concerned."But that's wonderful news, why did he ran away?" she asked and Avery shrugged her shoulders. "He's scared…he said he isn't ready to lose me", she answered and closed her eyes. "Oh…because of the complications from your last pregnancy", Carol said and Avery nodded. "I don't know what to do", she answered and looked at Emery who was still standing with them. "I'm on the pill…I don't know how it happened", she then said. "Antibiotics…you had the summer flu three weeks ago", Carol answered and Avery looked at her. "Oh damn…" Avery murmured and covered her eyes with her hand. „Everything okay?" Doug asked as he came out of the water. Avery looked at him and shook her head. "I'm pregnant again…and", she started. "Hey, but that's awesome, congratulations", Doug said and smiled. Carol shook her head at him and his smile faded away. "Jason went away because he thinks that it could go wrong this time", she now said with rolling her eyes. "Oh, it hasn't to be this way again. You should come to the hospital to make an ultrasound and blood test", Doug said. "No…I need to find Jason. I can't have this baby if he doesn't want it", Avery answered shaking her head and looking down. "I'm sure he's coming back…I bet he needs just some time to think about it", Carol said and stroke over Avery's arm. "I have to search him", Avery shook her head and turned around. "Go with her…I'm staying with the kids", Doug said to Carol and she nodded. "Okay", she whispered and went after Avery.

"Where do you want to go? Seattle isn't that small you know", Carol said as she drove through the streets with Avery. "Don't know", Avery answered as she looked out of the window. "Come on Ave…it's going to be okay", Carol said and looked at her. "I'm scared Carol…I'm scared too…I mean, what if he's right? I'm not ready to die. I love him…I love my boys and for God's sake, I love this baby already. But I'm not ready to die yet", Avery answered and looked back at Carol. Carol sighed and concentrated on the streets again. "Didn't you listen to Doug? He said that you can have more babies…and he knows what to do", she answered. "I know…but Carol, you have no idea what happened when I was pregnant with Casey. 10 minutes later and…" Avery stopped then. She just didn't want to think about this. "Yeah, but this was six years ago. Things change…medicine changes. Don't give up to fight…look at me…I thought that my life was over when I had the accident. I thought that I'll never see Doug again…but here I am. It wasn't easy, but I never gave up", Carol tried to explain and Avery nodded. "Maybe you're right. But…I need to talk to Jason first. I can't do it without him", Avery answered and Carol nodded. "We'll find him, don't worry", Carol said and Avery looked out of the window again.

"Stop…here's our car!" she then yelled and felt her heart beating like hell. Carol pulled over to a free parking space and stopped the car. "You want me to come in too?" she asked and Avery shook her head. "No…but thanks, Carol. I really appreciate your help", Avery said and smiled a little. "That's what friends are for", Carol answered and hugged Avery, before she left the car.

Jason was sitting in a bar, starring out to nowhere. A glass of what seamed like Whiskey or something like that was standing in front of him and he looked more broken than ever. Avery went to him without noticing the other guests in there and put her arm around his shoulder. She felt her tears coming, but held them back. "I need you", she whispered into his ear and Jason looked at her. "I need you too, Ave. I love you", Jason answered and put his hand on her cheek. Avery leaned forward and kissed him shortly. "Please…come home again", she then said and took a seat beside him. "Of course. I'm sorry I ran away", Jason smiled a little. "The antibiotics...they knock the pill out, that's why", Avery said and Jason got up from his seat. "Thought so", he answered and held out his hand for her. Avery took it and stood up too.

When they were outside of the bar again, Avery turned to him. "Jason…I won't get this baby…I…I'm not ready to die", she said. Jason smiled and shook his head. "Are you crazy? We won't abort this baby just because I ran away like a little boy who is afraid. Of course it's scary, but we don't even know if something will happen. Maybe we should ask Doug what we can do", Jason answered. "Did you drink?" Avery asked and looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Actually, no…I just came here some minutes before", Jason told her. "Where have you been?" Avery asked again. "I was at the cemetery, at my mother's grave…for a long time. Then I went around and finally I went to the bar to get a Whiskey. But I didn't drink it…it didn't feel right", Jason answered and sighed. "You are crazy", Avery fought back and smiled. "I can't wait to be a daddy again", Jason now whispered and kissed her passionately. Avery felt like that high school girl she was, when Jason kissed her for the very first time. She felt the butterflies in her stomach and her love for him got bigger every minute. There was only the fear in her, that didn't want to go away. "I'm scared too", Jason suddenly said, as if he could read her thoughts. "But we're going to fight, okay?" he finished and Avery nodded. "I love you…I really thought that I lost you", she whispered and linked her hand with his. "Oh Ave…I could never leave you…no matter what. I promised it when we got married and I promise it now again", Jason answered and smiled. Avery nodded smiling. "I'm glad…and now let's get our boys from my parents", she then said and Jason nodded, ready to start a new chapter in their lives.


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: **This fanfic is almost coming to an end, one more chapter to go! Goodwifefan, I'm always open the more ideas for a fic, so just PM me and maybe I'll start writing again :)

* * *

**Keep You Safe**

Jason looked at the little bundle in his hands and couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He couldn't describe this feeling he had at the moment, but he knew it. He felt the same when Carey was born; he felt the same when Casey was born and now he relieved it once again. His new born daughter had long eyelashes, just as Avery; her nose was so tiny and her lips were perfectly formed. Her little fingers touched her cheek and she stirred in her sleep. God, he could watch her forever and longer. Jason already knew that he had to watch out for all the guys that wanted to run after her when she was older. She was a beauty, just like her mama.

"Earth to Jason!"

Jason looked up and smiled at Doug, before he wiped away his tears. "Falling in love again?" Doug asked and Jason nodded. "Of course…look at her", Jason answered and touched the baby's little nose. "Yeah, she's a beauty…congratulations again!" Doug answered and Jason nodded. "Man…this may sound ranting, but I want to protect her forever", he said without looking away from the baby. Doug chuckled. "This doesn't sound ranting at all…I know this feeling. You want to hold your daughter in your hand forever and always; you don't want her to be hurt and her smile lights up your heart", Doug answered smiling. "Exactly", Jason answered and smiled back at him. "So, did you decide on a name yet?" Doug asked. Jason shook his head. "Not yet…we didn't really agree on one we both liked", Jason said and looked at his daughter again. "Well…then you should ask your boys, maybe they like a name", Doug answered and got up from his seat again. Jason nodded smiling. "Doug…thanks again, for everything", he said. "No problem…that's what friends do", Doug smiled and turned around to leave again.

* * *

Stephanie went up and down in Doug's office and bit her lip. She didn't even notice Doug coming in, but he smiled when he saw her. "What's going on Steph?" he asked as he purred himself a cup of coffee. "Oh Dr. Ross…didn't even notice you…I'm okay…I'm good, I guess", Steph answered, too shortly for her. "Steph...I know you for a very long time now, so don't lie to me and tell me what's going on", Doug insisted. Stephanie rolled her eyes and then sat down at the table. "Okay. Well, Mark proposed to me", she said as she closed her eyes and hid her head in her hands. Doug took a seat on the couch and nodded. "You're not happy about it", he answered and it wasn't really a question. A stranger would've been able to see that Stephanie definitely wasn't okay about it. "Dr. Doug…I…I am happy, I really am…but what am I going to do? I mean…there are so many questions. Is he the right one, the one I want to marry and be together with for the rest of my life? Is he the one I want to have children with?" She finally looked up and looked at Doug. "Is he the one?" she finished her question and Doug smiled at her. "You need to know for yourself if he's the one. I know that you're in love, I can tell that by thehearts in your eyes", Doug answered and took a sip of his coffee. Steph frowned. She really wasn't sure what to do. "How did you know that Carol is the one for you?" Stephanie then asked and Doug leaned back. He smiled at the thought of her,knowing that she would forever be the only one. The doctor put his cup on the table in front of him and folded his hands. "You feel it…you feel it deep down in your heart…and you can't erase this feeling, not even when you're apart for a long time. Just…just listen to your heart and not to your head", he answered and smiled again. Stephanie smiled back and sighed. "Yeah well, there's no love like yours and Carol's", she murmured and Doug chuckled. There probably wasn't…

* * *

"When can we see the baby?" Carey asked as he took a seat beside Carol on the couch, who was doing the laundry. Carol smiled and looked at the boy. She could tell that he already missed being with his family. "I'm sure your dad will call soon…are you excited?" Carol asked and Carey nodded. "I just hope she won't cry that much", he whispered into Carol's ear and Carol smiled. "You should be glad; you only have one baby at home then. We had three", Kate said who heard the conversation and then Carey nodded smiling. "Okay, I'm done here…what do you guys say about ordering a pizza?" Carol said and got up from the couch. Four kids in the room screamed a "yes" and a "yay" and so she nodded smiling and got her cell phone to order a pizza.

Just when she hung up, she heard her youngest son who was calling for her from upstairs. Her heart melted every time when she heard his soft voice repeating "Mama" until she showed up in their room. Tess and Kate shook their head smiling when they saw the look on Carol's face and Carol shrugged her shoulder, before she went for the stairs.

"Good morning Mason, mama is here", she smiled as she entered the room and a smell of baby scent came to her nose. "Oh, good morning to you too, Miss Emery…did your brother wake you?" she asked as she saw Emery sitting in her bed, smiling from one ear to the other. Carol turned around to find Liam lying on his stomach, his hand grabbing a teddy bear and making sweet baby noises, still asleep and not paying any attention to his surroundings. God, she loved her kids so freaking much, all five of them. "MAMAMAMA!" Mason yelled again and stood up in his crib like he wanted to escape a prison. "Yeah baby, I'm coming!" Carol chuckled and picked up the little boy, who immediately snuggled closer to her. "Aw…you know mama loves snuggle time, don't you", she murmured and stroke over Mason's back. "DADA", Emery suddenly called and Carol turned around to find Doug standing at the door. "Hey…what are you already doing here?" she asked and smiled as he stepped closer to kiss her. "Well, since Jason doesn't get his eyes off his newborn daughter, I offered to bring the boys to the hospital", Doug answered and picked up Emery from her bed. "Oh, I see. I'm so happy for them. I can't wait to meet the little princess…does she have a name already?" Carol asked and started to change Mason's diaper. "Not yet", Doug chuckled and touched Emery's nose with his nose. Carol sighed. "At least everything went okay…oh, I just ordered pizza, so you have to wait a little bit longer to go", she answered and Doug nodded. "I don't mind at all", he said and helped Carol with changing the diapers. She looked at him and smiled and her heart warmed up, as Doug smiled back at her.

* * *

Jason was in dreamland, his head rested on his little daughters crib. Avery opened her eyes and felt a familiar pain in her stomach, but it didn't matter. She turned her head and felt an incredible love overwhelming her, as she saw her husband and their beautiful daughter, who had her fingers around Jason's finger, like she didn't want to be anywhere else. Her long eyelashes touched her cheek and her silent breathing sounded like music in Avery's ears. She got up from the bed and went closer to Jason, leaned on his shoulders and kissed his neck. "Oh…you're awake…good morning", he smiled and turned around. Avery smiled back at him, put her hands around his neck and kissed him passionately. "I'm so happy…I love you, Jason", she then whispered into his ear and smiled. "I love you too", Jason answered and stroke over Avery's cheek. "She needs a name", he continued and took a glimpse of his baby again. "I know…and I thought about it. We have Carey, we have Casey…now we have a Caley", Avery smiled and Jason looked at his daughter. "Caley Lawrence…like it, take it", Jason answered and smiled at Avery. "We discussed names for nine months and now you like it so quickly?" Avery asked and Jason nodded. "Caley…she already likes that name", he said and pointed at his daughter, who formed her little mouth to what seemed like a smile. Avery took a deep breath and touched her daughter's cheek, praying to God that he would keep her safe forever.

* * *

"Hey Jason", Carol smiled as she saw him in the corridor. "Carol, nice to see you", he said and she hugged him. "Congratulations…I'm so happy for you", she said and stroke over her friend's back. "Thank you…we're happy too", Jason smiled. "Where's Doug?" he then asked as he went with Carol to Avery's room. "Oh, he's watching the triplets downstairs. I was bringing Tess and Kate to their guitar lessons and decided to give you a visit, I'm so excited already", Carol chuckled and Jason laughed. "Here we are", he said and opened the door to the room. Avery was holding her daughter and stroking over the baby's cheek. "Awww Avery…congratulations!" Carol squealed and hugged her friend immediately. "Thanks Carol", Avery smiled and turned Caley so Carol could see her. "Hello little princess…aw, she's a beauty!" Carol smiled as she stroke over Caley's cheek. "Please tell me you've decided on a name already", she then looked at Avery and Jason. "We did…her name is Caley", Avery answered and Carol nodded smiling. "That's more than accurate", she laughed and looked at the baby again. "So, how are you feeling? Any problems?" Carol asked. "I'm exhausted but so happy…everything was going so smooth this time, it's incredible", Avery answered smiling. "Right, as we told you…you can still have more babies", Carol chuckled. Avery shook her head and looked at Jason. "Nah, I guess our family is complete now, right baby?" she asked. "I think so too", he laughed and nodded. "You should be glad you only got one…we tried for a third baby and got two extra", Carol laughed then and thought about her triplets. "Oh but I love them so much…I can't believe they're almost two…where does the time go?" she asked and sighed. "I know…too bad they can't stay like this forever", Avery answered and smiled, as little Caley sucked on her finger. "Well, I gotta go again and rescue Doug…he's watching our rascals downstairs and I bet they're turning around his office", Carol laughed and got up from her seat again. "Thanks for coming by! I'm sure I'll be at home soon, so we can have a chat again", Avery said and Carol nodded. "Oh for sure…we want to be your first guests!" Carol answered smiling. "Congrats again, you two…three", she added and hugged first Avery again, then Jason. "And you little princess, welcome", she whispered to a sleeping Caley and smiled again. Avery and Jason made a beautiful little girl and Carol was so happy for her friends.

* * *

"Good night, Liam Cruz", Carol said in a baby voice and kissed her son on the cheek. "Good night Mason Noah", she then said to Mason who held up his teddy bear to her. Carol took the bear and kissed it, before she kissed Mason. "And good night to you, Emery Iris", she finally added and kissed her youngest daughter too. "Mommy loves you! Sleep well rascals!" she waved at all three kids and turned off the light in the room. She stood there for a moment and listened to her babies. Liam was babbling something, Mason was answering with some "dadada" and Emery laughed. They were perfect.

Kate was sitting on her bed with the guitar in her hand and singing "Knocking on Heaven's Door" but she stopped when Carol entered the twin's room. "Don't stop…it's beautiful…go on!" Carol said and took a seat on Tess' bed. "No…I just learned it today", Kate said and made a face. "Please…I won't even recognize a mistake, as I can't play the guitar", Carol begged. Kate sighed. "Okay, fine…but don't laugh", Kate answered and Carol nodded. So Kate started again and Carol listened to the beautiful voice of her daughter. As Kate played and sang, Tess came in. "Hi", she whispered to her mom and Carol nodded to her smiling. "Can you play it too?" Carol whispered and Tess shook her head. "I learned "More Than Words"", Tess answered and Carol nodded again. So they both sat there and listened to Kate until she finished. Carol and Tess clapped their hands. "Wow…Kate, that's beautiful! Didn't know you can sing this good", Carol said and Kate blushed. "Really? You're not just saying it?" the girl asked. "I mean it…maybe you should go take singing lessons too", Carol answered. Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah well, I'll ask my guitar teacher next time", she answered smiling. "Now I wanna hear "More Than Words"", Carol said to Tess and she grabbed her guitar too. "Can I join you?" Kate asked her sister and Tess nodded. "Sure, we could sing in two voices", Tess suggested and Kate nodded.

Carol listened to their playing and singing and got goose bumps. This was amazing. She had two little star daughters. "Oh wow, I'm really impressed", she said smiling, as the two girls stopped and put their guitars away. "I love you two, do you know that?" Carol asked them and the twins nodded. "We love you too, mommy", Kate answered and smiled. Tess stood up and hugged her mom. "Aww…come here Kate", Carol said and held her hand out for Kate, who joined Tess. "I love you so much", Carol whispered and hugged them just tighter.

Doug stood in the doorway and watched them, love was filling up his whole body and he smiled by the sight he just got. Yes, Jason was right. He too wanted to keep his children safe from every pain in the world.

"You make me wanna join you", Doug finally said and went closer. "Then come here daddy", Tess said and waved at him. So did Doug and joined the three of them, hugged them and placed kissed on their heads. Then he looked at Carol and she looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you", she formed with her mouth and smiled at him. "Love you", he answered silently and smiled at her.

* * *

"Sometimes I can't even believe it…" Carol said as she put her book away and turned to Doug who just came to bed. "Believe what?" he asked and made himself comfortable. "That I'm here with you", she answered and smiled. "I'm glad you're here", Doug smiled and Carol nodded. "I mean…how could I ever tell myself that I was happy without you? I guess I didn't know what was waiting for me here", she continued. "So I assume you like it here in Seattle", Doug asked and Carol smiled. "There's no other place I want to be right now", she said and stroke over his cheek. "What if this accident wouldn't have happened? Would I still live in Chicago with our daughters and you up here alone?" she asked and sighed. Doug shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea…maybe. But I'm glad it turned out like it did. I can't even imagine now how it would be without you or the kids anymore. I love you and I love them so much…" he answered but couldn't go on because Carol interrupted him with a passionate kiss. God, he couldn't even describe how much he loved her; how much he needed her. "I fall in love with you more and…more, when…you say such things", Carol murmured between the kiss and smiled. She couldn't even describe how much she loved him; how much she needed him. "It's only the truth", Doug answered and smiled at her. "Show me how much you love me", Carol chuckled then and Doug, of course, respected her wish without even thinking about.


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: **so, this is it...last chapter :( well, it was a wonderful journey and I enjoyed writing this story. Hope you did too! Thanks so much again for sticking with me, for pushing me up to write more and for all your lovely reviews. It was so much fun and I'm really happy that there are still some Doug/Carol fans out there :)

Thank you and have fun with the last chapter :)

Sandy

* * *

**One Fine Day**

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the crowd was calling when the triplets finally blew out all the candles on their birthday cakes. The garden of the Ross-Hathaway family was full of people. Helen and Sarah were there; Mark, Elizabeth and Ella finally spent a holiday in Seattle; Avery was sitting beside Jason and held a shy Caley in her arms while her boys were swimming in the lake with Tess, Kateand Ella and also Stephanie was here, with herfive week old baby boy Leon in her arms.

"Happy Birthday, Liam", Carol said, picked up her four year old boy and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks mommy", Liam answered and looked at the presents. "Can we open them?" he asked and Carol nodded, as she let her son down again. Liam immediately ran to the table where everybody put their presents. "Happy Birthday, Emery", Carol then said as she picked up her daughter and snuggled closer to her. "Thanks mommy", Emery answered smiling and hugging her mother. "Wanna open your presents too?" Carol asked and Em nodded excited. "Alright, here you go", Carol said and let her down too. "Where's my baby boy?" she then said to herself and looked around. Mason was sitting on the grass again and playing with a toy motorcycle. "Mason honey…time to open your presents", she called after him and Mason looked up with big blue eyes. Carol smiled at him and he got up to run to the presents. "Ah, ah, ah…wait a moment", Carol caught him to pick him up too. "Happy Birthday, Mason", she smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thanks mommy, but can I go now please?" Mason struggled and Carol chuckled. "Of course", she answered and kissed him once again, before she let him down.

"Man…I can't believe they're four already", Carol sighed and sat down beside Elizabeth. "Oh, don't talk to me about getting older", Elizabeth said and everybody chuckled. "Elizabeth, you didn't change at all…what's your secret?" Carol asked and took a sip of her coffee. "I think it's her husband that keeps her on her toes", Mark interrupted them and Elizabeth shook her head laughing. "Yeah, sure Mark", Carol answered smiling and leaned watched all the guests and smiled a satisfied grin. It was a perfect afternoon, not only for the triplets, but also for her. Chicago and Seattle were united once again.

"Hey kids", Doug whispered as he appeared around the house corner. The triplets looked up and Doug told them to come to him. Liam, Emery and Mason immediately ran to him to look what he wanted. "Happy Birthday my little munchkins", Doug smiled and bent down to hug all three of them and placed kissed on their cheeks. "Daddy, you got us new bikes?" Liam asked and looked at him with big brown eyes. "Well, somebody told me that you want new bikes", Doug chuckled and got up again. "Thanks daddy", all three of the triplets said and smiled at him. "You're welcome. Now wanna try it?" Doug asked and the three of them nodded quickly.

"Mommy, look…we have new bikes", Emery called and drove in the grass past the adults. "Oh, great honey, but take care!" Carol called back smiling and then everybody chuckled as the boys came with their new bikes making motorcycle sounds. "Be prepared for broken bones and bleeding knees", Carol said to Doug who hugged her from behind. "As usual, as usual", Doug chuckled and leaned forward to kiss Carol, before he took a seat beside her. "You let them drive without helmets?" Helen asked with her 'oh my god I'm so shocked' tone. "Mama…did I have a helmet when I was driving a bike at that age?" Carol asked. "No, but time changed", Helen answered and Carol sighed. "They're only driving here a little bit, no need to worry", Doug rescued Carol from a discussion with her mother. "Hey Caley…don't you want to try the cake?" Carol then asked the little girl. Three year old Caley hid her head in her mother's shoulder. "Don't ask grumpy Caley today. Misses 'I don't want to eat lunch' is not allowed to have sweets today", Avery said and looked at her daughter. "Ah…come on Ave, we have so much left", Carol said and then Caley smiled at her. "Come here little girl", Carol held her hands out and Avery handed her daughter to Carol. "We have chocolate cake, you like that?" Carol asked and Caley nodded. "Yeah of course, chocolate every day and our kids would be the most satisfied people in the world", Avery rolled her eyes but Caley had her mouth full with chocolate cake already. "Seriously Stephanie, enjoy the time you have with your baby", Avery said to Stephanie who was pushing the stroller back and forth. "But we do love our kids, no matter what, right?" Doug said and everybody nodded. "Sure…now wanna take a look at my wedding photos? I know they came really late, but here they are" Stephanie asked and put an album on the table. She waited about three years to finally marry her fiancé Mark but now seemed happier than ever

Suddenly they heard a crash and some seconds later a cry. "What did I say?" Carol turned to Doug and smiled. "You're always right", Doug chuckled and got up to help his son.

"What happened, do we need to go to the hospital?" he asked as he helped Liam to get up again. "No daddy…everything is okay. Now give me my bike, we're making a race and I don't want to lose", Liam said, patted the grass from his knee and got on the bike again. "Don't hurt yourself", Doug called after him and was sure, that his son didn't even hear him. He chuckled and went back to the table. "I think he comes a little bit after you", Mark said to Doug and chuckled. "Hopefully not", Doug answered and Carol rolled her eyes. "He's totally coming after you, Doug...he has the same chuckle as you, he always forgets to take off his shoes before he enters the house and he's always in when you're up to some nonsense", Carol smiled. "Yeah…definitely my son", Doug answered and looked at his kids. He was a proud dad. Carol looked at her husband who had this glitter in his eyes, as he watched Tess and Kate in the water and she fell in love with him over and over again.

* * *

The birthday party slowly but surely came to an end. Avery had to bring her kids to bed; Stephanie left earlier because her son Leon was fussy and Mark, Elizabeth and Ella went inside to take a shower.

"Tess, Kate…come down here to say goodbye to your grandmothers!" Carol called up the tree house that Doug build for them. Carol was exhausted from the birthday party for the triplets, while her babies still were as active as this afternoon. "You already have to leave?" Kate asked Helen and Sarah and they nodded. "We'll come again soon", Helen answered and Carol made a face. "Well, maybe we can come to Chicago too, would be nice", Carol then smiled and both her mother and mother in law nodded. "It's about time", Sarah saidand finally hugged Carol. "Thank you for everything Sarah", Carol said and stroke over her back. "No need to thank me. We had a great time", Sarah answered smiling. So Sarah said goodbye to her grandchildren and Carol noticed that she wiped away some tears. "Mama, thank you too…I'll miss you", Carol then said and wondered where that came from. Well, all the time her mother was here, she was always a big help. "Don't talk to me like that, Carol", Helen answered and wiped away tears too. "Bye my babies", Helen then said and hugged Tess and Kate and then Liam, Mason and Emery. "Bye grandma", the kids said and waved at her. As quickly as she said her goodbyes, she went to the rental car. No need to make a big goodbye drama here.

Carol then started to clean the table as she noticed Doug talking with his mom. She smiled then, knowing that he always had a strong bond with her.

"Oh Doug, I'm so happy for you", Sarah hugged him and Doug smiled. "Thanks, mom…I'm happy too. I couldn't wish for more", he answered and looked at her. "Will you be okay?" he then asked and Sarah nodded. "I will…but you really need to visit Chicago soon. I can't wait to see you all again", Sarah answered and wiped away tears. "We will. I love you, mom", Doug said and hugged her once again. "I love you too baby. Goodbye", Sarah answered and then followed Helen. Doug sighed but smiled, as Carol hugged him from behind. "I'll miss them too", she said as if she was able to read his mind. "Ah yeah…always hard to say goodbye", he answered and turned around. He put his hands around Carol's waist and looked into her eyes. "I love you", he whispered and smiled. "I love you too", Carol answered, put her hand on his cheek and kissed him passionately. Mason laughed and ran around them in a circle. Carol reached down with her other hand to stop the little boy. "Time for bed!" she then said and Mason made a face. "Why me?" little Mason asked and crossed his hands in front of him. "Hahaha, don't make such a face…Li and Em have to go too", Carol chuckled and Doug picked his son up. "Can I sleep in Tess' and Kate's room today?" Emery asked as she ran to her parents and smiled at them from one ear to the other. "Oh sorry honey, Ella is sleeping in their room tonight", Carol said and stroke over her daughter's head. "Damn…" Emery murmured and went inside. "They definitely spend too much time with our young adult daughters", Doug laughed and shook his head. Liam yawned. "Will you tell us a story daddy?" he asked and Doug nodded. "Sure thing, buddy", Doug answered and then they went inside too.

* * *

After quick showers the triplets went to bed without complaining. "Happy Birthday, babies", Carol said once again before she kissed all three. "Good night", she whispered. "Thanks mommy and good night", Emery answered and the boys were too busy with their new Spiderman action figures. "Your turn", Carol said to Doug who entered their room and he smiled. "So, liked your birthday?" he asked as he took a seat on Emery's bed. "Yeah daddy", Liam answered and sat up again. "What presents did you get?" Doug asked, acting like he didn't know it yet. "New bikes, Spiderman figures, Lego, a football and a cake", Mason said as he looked at Doug. "You forgot the new clothes", Liam said to his brother and Mason nodded. "I got a Barbie and new shoes too", Emery yawned. "Oh wow, Birthdays are great huh? I never get that much presents", Doug chuckled and made big eyes. The triplets laughed and Doug's heart warmed up. Their laughter was more beautiful than any other present in the world. "Alright, now a story", Doug said and changed his sitting position. "Once upon a time there were three little kids, two boys and one girl. They were about four years old and very, very grievous", he started and looked at his children again, who already fell into a peaceful sleep. "Well that story was short", he said to himself and smiled. "Aw guys…I still remember holding you in my arms when you were born…so small, so beautiful…now you're four already and I…I can't describe the feeling I had back then but I know that I love you every day more and more. I hope I'm a good daddy to you…I hope you never hate me for anything I did or do wrong because I love you so much and I want to be there for you all, no matter what. I'm so happy that your mommy gave you to me…I" he suddenly turned around to find Carol who interrupted him.

"God, Doug, please stop to say such things", she rushed to him and kissed him like there was no today, no tomorrow, no time at all. "Carol…don't cry", he said almost out of breath and wiped away the tears on her cheek. "Doug…I'm…I love you so much and I have to thank *you* that you gave our children to me", Carol sobbed but smiled at him. "And you're a good daddy…you are their daddy, the best daddy in the world…I don't even know why you think that you aren't good enough for them", she continued and shook her head. "I don't know. I guess…I guess I'm afraid of failing them", Doug answered and looked down.

"Dad…Just stay the way you are…we love you, no matter what", it was Kate who overheard their conversation as she went to the toilet and smiled at her parents. Doug got up from the bed, went to her and hugged her immediately. He kissed her head and held her really tight. "Ouch…dad, I can't breathe", Kate complained but Doug didn't let her go. "I love you, Kate. You and your sister. Don't ever forget that", he said and Kate nodded. "I know daddy", she answered and smiled at him. "Okay, okay…enough with this soupy topic please", Carol said, wiped away her tears and got up from the bed again. She went past Kate and kissed her on the cheek.

"She crying again?" Kate asked as she passed from her dad. "Yeah", Doug nodded and smiled. Kate sighed, shook her head and went back to her room. At the door she stopped and turned around to Doug again. She looked at him and smiled for some seconds before she went back to her room, knowing that she had the best parents in the world.

* * *

"Alright, here we go! Sorry it took me so long upstairs", Carol said as she finally calmed down again and brought wine and glasses to the living room table. "You have five kids, no wonder", Elizabeth smiled who made herself comfortable on the couch. "Right…it's a lot of work sometimes. Thank God the triplets were so exhausted from partying all day", Carol answered and went to get some animal crackers. "Oh…you still do that animal crackers stuff?" Mark asked and chuckled. "Yeah…we refreshed this ritual again when I came to Seattle", Carol smiled and then poured wine into the glasses. "Tell me how you're doing this", Elizabeth then said as Carol came back. "Do what?" Carol asked, taking a seat beside Mark. "Managing a marriage, five children and a job", Elizabeth answered. Carol smiled. "Well…I didn't work until last year, you know…and, Doug is a big help. He worked a lot from at home while the triplets were smaller. Now they're in kindergarten and the twins are in school, so I can work too", Carol answered smiling again. "That sounds like it was so easy…" Elizabeth murmured. "Believe me, it was exhausting…and sometimes it's still exhausting", Doug answered who came back from upstairs and heard their conversation. Carol smiled and nodded. "So, what about you? Don't you plan to get another baby?" Carol asked and looked between Mark and Elizabeth. "First we should drink and toast to a one fine day", Mark said and everybody nodded. "Cheers", everybody said and took a sip. "Alright…so?" Carol asked smiling. Elizabeth looked at Mark. "Well, we're trying", she smiled and Mark took her hand in his. "Ah, that's great…I'll cross my fingers for you", Carol answered and Doug nodded. "Thanks…we'll keep you up to date", Elizabeth said. "And now, tell me all news from Chicago…how's Carter doing? Is Haleh still there? What about Susan? Too bad she came back when I left", Carol said and leaned back.

Elizabeth and Mark told all the news they had. They talked about fun stuff, old times and the future, late into the night until this one fine day finally found an end...

**THE END**


End file.
